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Original post by DancinBallerina
.....I don't believe it is my personality...the amount of people I've met over the past year, who've asked "Have I got a bf?", I say no, & theyre always surprised & say words to the effect of you've got an amazing personality. No idea maybe if when I go on dates, I'm quite 'private' in that I don't disclose every single thing about myself because I like mystery & don't want to give all. :dontknow: But I give enough so it's not silence / awkward.

It just doesn't make sense to me.


Perhaps you cna get some honest feedback rather than just your friends. I mean objective. Maybe you intimidate, maybe you seem disinterested or aloof, maybe you seem hard work or set in your ways.

Maybe you are looking in the wrmg places and need to change social circles? Maybe you arent networking enough. I had one friend and she got a bf just by never refusing a date. It can be hard work I agree, but now is the time to tackle it. Do not spend a long time in a mediocre relationship .
Original post by 999tigger
To a point, but it doesnt do any harm knowing how to make the most of yourself. Your target is to increase your chances to the max number of suitables. Men are quite visual in th first instance.


So I need to dress slutty?
Original post by DancinBallerina
So I need to dress slutty?


What do you think is dressing slutty?
Original post by malware
you seem to be in severe denial. the desperate tone for understanding, reassurance and encouragement in your OP conflicts with the "I'm perfect, I'm fine" tone in your following posts.

obviously there is an issue within yourself that's preventing you from getting into a solid or good relationship, since you're driven to make the OP about the situation you're in.

or...you made a ridiculous, pointless OP asking for impossible advice. choose which.


Ok since you know everything about me, what is the issue? :rolleyes:
Original post by Cremated_Spatula
What do you think is dressing slutty?


Tits out, legs out, vag out! Dressing in such manner is not an image I wish to give off. I wear clothing which is date appropriate, and of a reasonable length (usually wear dresses). But as someone has just say I need to get the attention of the men visually, so I assume that's what they're implying?
Original post by DancinBallerina
THIS!

I've seen some women who aren't attractive, yet they've got a stunner of a guy on their arm!!! Looks means sod all - so the people saying "be attractive", is utter tripe!!!! Everyone is different & attraction is different to different people.


Yes it's true some couple are of similar levels of attractiveness, but many others have a marked difference. I think attraction is complex and while looks are important that's only the first level of attraction and more to do with sex than relationships.
Original post by DancinBallerina
So I need to dress slutty?


Most girls I know with boyfriends live in hoodies, leggings and uggs and I'm not willing to go there personally. Nice dresses for me.
Original post by Anonymous
I cook, clean, bake, give good head, dress nice, do my hair, go to the gym, go to a good uni and still can't get a boyfriend :frown:


Maybe there's something about your personality? Looks are what catch the guys attention but personality is what keeps them interested
Original post by DancinBallerina
So I need to dress slutty?



Nah but you can dress well. Whilst part of me is philosophical and its a numbers game you do need to do what you can to give it the best chance.


Are you meeting enough people?
Are you meeting the right sorts?
Are you clear what you want and what you ahve to offer?
How is your flirting technique?

My tip is know what you wnat but make sure you are open minded, but then dont waste time on what you know to be dead ends.


Do you really think you are making enough effort?

Would you ask a guy out on a date/ thats just self confidence.

Maybe your dating technique just needs a bit of refining. Im no saying its easy, but some people manage it and some people are better than others. In your case youd like to be as good at it as you can... that make sense?

If you are in London theres loads of fating classes coaching session. I do think you need some objective feedback on your technique. Youra after ctaching a particular type of fish , so you need to know how to do it or at least understand how others have done it.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by DancinBallerina
Tits out, legs out, vag out! Dressing in such manner is not an image I wish to give off. I wear clothing which is date appropriate, and of a reasonable length (usually wear dresses). But as someone has just say I need to get the attention of the men visually, so I assume that's what they're implying?


:rofl: No, you don't need to dress like that.
Original post by 999tigger
Perhaps you cna get some honest feedback rather than just your friends. I mean objective. Maybe you intimidate, maybe you seem disinterested or aloof, maybe you seem hard work or set in your ways.

Maybe you are looking in the wrmg places and need to change social circles? Maybe you arent networking enough. I had one friend and she got a bf just by never refusing a date. It can be hard work I agree, but now is the time to tackle it. Do not spend a long time in a mediocre relationship .


If said men still spoke to me, I would! Apart from one, I don't talk to any of the guys anymore purely because I don't want to cause drama or appear like I am trying to rekindle things, which is obv. not the case.

I'm very cautious of how I behave around a guy and I am also wary of what I say, as I know guys pick up on things that could easily go against you, i.e What are you looking for.

Guys don't get to know me long enough to assume I am hard work / set in my ways, so that can't be a reasoning for!

I do think my social circles is crap, esp now as all friends are getting settled. But I work in an establishment whereby there is opportunity to network. But it's not easy when the majority of people are a lot older, not many people of my age, but it could potentially be a gate keeping way :dontknow: Dates I've been asked on, I've always gone to. I'm not picky in the sense of ''He's too short, can't go on a date with him'', im not like that. I am open to a lot of things as you never know what could happen.
Original post by DancinBallerina
Ok since you know everything about me, what is the issue? :rolleyes:


lol don't be immature. the same people who nicely advise you also know as much as I do. so if my posts are pointless so are theirs, thus making the thread pointless, no? or, do as I advised and instead of projecting on the internet what you do right, log out, sit down and think about what you do wrong. clearly it's you.
Original post by ivy.98
Maybe there's something about your personality? Looks are what catch the guys attention but personality is what keeps them interested


I think if anything I'm 'too nice' I get told I'm a 'lovely person' all the time. Guys don't find it exciting and get bored of me and trample on me. I have a tendency to 'mother' people. Think I need to stop being a walkover and become a hardened b***h then I might finally have some luck.
Go up to the first person you like, tilt your head and whisper 'suck me neck' 100% success rate.
Original post by Anonymous
Most girls I know with boyfriends live in hoodies, leggings and uggs and I'm not willing to go there personally. Nice dresses for me.


You wouldn't catch me in a pair of Ugg boots if my soul depended on it! I'm always in dresses because they're a lot more ladylike / feminine, and I've got a body I've worked hard to maintain lol :smile:
Original post by malware
lol don't be immature. the same people who nicely advise you also know as much as I do. so if my posts are pointless so are theirs, thus making the thread pointless, no? or, do as I advised and instead of projecting on the internet what you do right, log out, sit down and think about what you do wrong. clearly it's you.


Thanks
Original post by DancinBallerina
If said men still spoke to me, I would! Apart from one, I don't talk to any of the guys anymore purely because I don't want to cause drama or appear like I am trying to rekindle things, which is obv. not the case.

I'm very cautious of how I behave around a guy and I am also wary of what I say, as I know guys pick up on things that could easily go against you, i.e What are you looking for.

Guys don't get to know me long enough to assume I am hard work / set in my ways, so that can't be a reasoning for!

I do think my social circles is crap, esp now as all friends are getting settled. But I work in an establishment whereby there is opportunity to network. But it's not easy when the majority of people are a lot older, not many people of my age, but it could potentially be a gate keeping way :dontknow: Dates I've been asked on, I've always gone to. I'm not picky in the sense of ''He's too short, can't go on a date with him'', im not like that. I am open to a lot of things as you never know what could happen.


How are you with intimacy? how open are you? does it take you a long time to trust/ depend on someone?
Original post by Cremated_Spatula
:rofl: No, you don't need to dress like that.


LoL :h: Well certainly would get heads turning . . perhaps though not for the right reason! lol But I take great care in how I dress especially on dates. Golden rule I've been taught; ever have tits and legs out on a date, it's either one or the other, and neither should be extreme, ie mini skirt, very low cut top. For example, I wore a nice knitted jumper dress on a date recently, my boobs were covered, it has long sleeves, but the dress hem finished at my knees, and I had a pair of black heels on. That imo is suitable / date appropriate. :smile:
Original post by malware
get in there nicely, laddy


OI :rofl:
Original post by Cremated_Spatula
How are you with intimacy? how open are you? does it take you a long time to trust/ depend on someone?


HA .. I love sex!:colone: I usually however go with the guys' lead, I don't pounce, as that's not me! However I don't do EVERYTHING in one go . . I like to hold something back, for both us to want more. I don't purposely tease because that's cruel. But you know I give enough to be wanting more. I have in the past trusted too easily and had my fingers burnt, but guy I was sort of seeing last year, he asked, and I said no because I got spooked and wasn't mentally ready for it, and I wanted to build up the trust first properly.

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