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Anyone else's parents never let them cook or do laundry?

So I'll be starting uni this September (hopefully) and it's come to my attention that the reason I don't know some basic life skills isn't because I don't want to learn and become independent, but because I'm simply not allowed to learn.

Everyone my age will cook for themselves (or their entire family) occasionally. For years, I have wanted to learn how to cook because it's a basic life skill... but my mum never let me. I'm 18 now and desperate to learn to cook for myself so that I don't look like a complete noob when I go to uni, but every time I ask to do so, I get yelled at/ignored/brushed off. I am ashamed to say I cannot cook the most basic of meals. My mum cooks all my meals for me. She occasionally complains about having 'to do everything for me' but when I offer to cook for myself, she refuses.

Same with laundry; I am not allowed to know how to operate the washing machine or be responsible for sorting my dirty clothes and putting them in the machine. All of my friends have been washing their owns clothes for years. I know the basics of using a washing machine (I'm not stupid), but it frustrates me that I'm an adult yet not allowed to use one.

Anyone else got similar experiences with parents? I've been reading lots online to learn how to look after myself and I think I'll be ok once I get to uni. I really want to be independent; I'm not the sort to sit on my bum all day and make others run around after me. But my mum's refusal to let me be independent is preventing that from happening.

just do it anyway

Have you asked your parents why they won't let you do this? It may be some kind of denial that you're growing up on their part as they still think of you as their child and are scared about you leaving the nest but you do need to learn, speak to them about it and see what they say :smile:

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 3

username1336212

OP

Original post by Blondie987

Have you asked your parents why they won't let you do this? It may be some kind of denial that you're growing up on their part as they still think of you as their child and are sacred about you leaving the nest but you do need to learn, speak to them about it and see what they say :smile:

I've spoken to my mum multiples times about this and most times, she would just change the subject. The only reasons I've ever received are 'You'll do it wrong' and 'You'll get it the way.' I definitely think it's denial that I'm growing up. Anyway, I was just curious as to whether other people have experienced this.

Reply 4

username1336212

OP

Original post by Zain-A

just do it anyway

I cooked a fried egg once and my mum threw a HUGE yelling fit at me and didn't let me go see my friends that day (I was meant to be going out with friends to the cinema).

Reply 5

mkap

20

lol as a good South asian girl i do most of the cooking and cleaning.

Reply 6

1secondsofvamps

22

My mum doesn't like me cooking too often because she thinks I'll burn the house down. I did gcse catering and never once burned anything, my mum just doesn't trust me smh

Reply 7

MsTabitha

1

If you can read, you can cook & operate a washing machine.

Your mum is babying you because she is probably nervous about letting you go but really she's doing you no favours.

Reply 8

SophieSmall

21

I'd flat out call out my parents for being morons. Stop letting your mum brush you off and change the subject, parents aren't always right and sometimes they need to realise they're can't be the boss of you forever.

Reply 9

Rum Ham

20

My mum would always moan if I wanted food past dinner and she couldn't be bothered cooking so I would offer cook something for myself and she would just roar and she say didn't trust me in the kitchen and would just make something herself. I didn't ever properly cook until I moved out at 19.

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Reply 10

whorace

2

Awful parenting, get her back when she's old and retired. Tell her to cook her own food.

Reply 11

username1336212

OP

Original post by 1secondsofvamps

My mum doesn't like me cooking too often because she thinks I'll burn the house down. I did gcse catering and never once burned anything, my mum just doesn't trust me smh

Yeah, I think the lack of trust is partly why I'm not allowed to cook. I remember when I started secondary school and wanted to use the toaster to make toast for breakfast and my mum was extremely hesitant to let me use it. Like, chill, I want to make toast, not drive a car. :tongue:

Reply 12

username1336212

OP

Original post by MsTabitha

If you can read, you can cook & operate a washing machine.

Your mum is babying you because she is probably nervous about letting you go but really she's doing you no favours.

I've figured out the washing machine and should be fine when washing clothes at uni. Right now, I'm trying to learn some easy recipes but it's quite difficult when you don't have any food and have to do it in your head instead. :biggrin:

My mum insisted on me living in catered accommodation at uni but I secretly put self catered on the form when I filled it out. So naughty.

Reply 13

VividBandicoot

18

Original post by alterskye

I cooked a fried egg once and my mum threw a HUGE yelling fit at me and didn't let me go see my friends that day (I was meant to be going out with friends to the cinema).

Sounds really weird.

Reply 14

auroraborealice

6

My parents are exactly the same, and I'm in the same situation of going to uni in September and not having a clue about cooking/laundry. The only way I've gotten around it is cooking small meals myself like pasta when they've gone out, and I've got enough time to clean up before they get back haha. Otherwise I'd get moaned at for potentially breaking something

Reply 15

whorace

2

Original post by auroraborealice

My parents are exactly the same, and I'm in the same situation of going to uni in September and not having a clue about cooking/laundry. The only way I've gotten around it is cooking small meals myself like pasta when they've gone out, and I've got enough time to clean up before they get back haha. Otherwise I'd get moaned at for potentially breaking something

Tell them they shouldn't be trusted with important responsibilities because they can't be trusted to raise you properly.

Reply 16

username1336212

OP

Original post by SophieSmall

I'd flat out call out my parents for being morons. Stop letting your mum brush you off and change the subject, parents aren't always right and sometimes they need to realise they're can't be the boss of you forever.

I've tried to prove I can look after myself by cooking dinner when my mum was out and thought my grandma would cook for me... my mum found out and my bedtime got put back half an hour earlier for a few days (yes, I still have a bedtime; I'm not allowed to choose when to go to bed and get in trouble if I try to oppose it). It's not that I let my mum treat this way, but rather I don't want to be punished for going against her ridiculous rules.

Reply 17

username1336212

OP

Original post by auroraborealice

My parents are exactly the same, and I'm in the same situation of going to uni in September and not having a clue about cooking/laundry. The only way I've gotten around it is cooking small meals myself like pasta when they've gone out, and I've got enough time to clean up before they get back haha. Otherwise I'd get moaned at for potentially breaking something

Yay, someone in my situation! I know what you mean about trying to do all the washing up before parents return home so they don't find out. :biggrin:

It's ridiculous when you think about it.

Reply 18

Dannyboy2015

13

My parents are the same. It is really weird because they always say I do nothing around the house but then when I offer to do things I get told no...

If it was just that I wouldn't mind particularly, it is more the fact that if I don't do things myself they simply don't get done. For example if I put clothes in the washing basket they won't be washed for like 2 weeks?! So I just do it when they aren't at home and that way I manage to get everything done. Thankfully they take my younger sister out at least twice on a weekday evening and then again pretty much all day Saturday.

Reply 19

beautifulbigmacs

19

Some parents have a rod up their arse and think their offspring are incompetent because as parents they need to feel superior or at least more in control. Don't take it personally. I have an MSc in a food based subject and A grades in A level and gcse food tech and my parents still don't like me to cook. Meh.

Anyone else's parents never let them cook or do laundry?

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