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The caste system and British Indians

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Reply 20
Avatar for spv
spv
14
It depends on the family. I would say inter-faith relationships are frowned upon for the most part, more than anything caste-related. Of course, you have your extremists, but in my opinion, I think it's more due to having a similar understanding with your own society (samaj)/ upbringing- despite what some would consider an underlying discrimination.

As someone who belongs to the "highest caste", my parents have said I can do whatever I want, even if they're muslim (if you're indian, you'll understand this...chances are you were probably told something about 'the muslim issue') but preferably choose my own kind of Indian.

That being said, in my experience, social standing hasn't been an issue. My friends who belong to "lower castes" haven't had to deal with crap except from grandparents who still believe in the "older way".

Like I said above, it depends on the family.

I can answer any questions y'all might have.
Reply 21
Avatar for nucdev
nucdev
18
Original post by spv
It depends on the family. I would say inter-faith relationships are frowned upon for the most part, more than anything caste-related. Of course, you have your extremists, but in my opinion, I think it's more due to having a similar understanding with your own society (samaj)/ upbringing- despite what some would consider an underlying discrimination.

As someone who belongs to the "highest caste", my parents have said I can do whatever I want, even if they're muslim (if you're indian, you'll understand this...chances are you were probably told something about 'the muslim issue' ) but preferably choose my own kind of Indian.

That being said, in my experience, social standing hasn't been an issue. My friends who belong to "lower castes" haven't had to deal with crap except from grandparents who still believe in the "older way".

Like I said above, it depends on the family.

I can answer any questions y'all might have.


That is true, I mean mine are pretty liberal when it comes to all of that - they're just like "taari marzi (your choice) as long as you're happy".

If you had asked my grandfather maybe a decade or so ago, he would have said "you must get married to someone from our own samaj (community/group)", but now he's much more relaxed about it and doesn't really care.
For me, no, castes are quite unheard of where I live. It's more about people with different faiths/religions tbh :biggrin:
You're most welcome :h:
Reply 24
Avatar for spv
spv
14
Original post by nucdev
x


LOL at "tari marji" my mom says that all the time.
Reply 25
Avatar for Josb
Josb
6
Original post by preetg97
I believe that caste does still play a significant role in determining social and relationship choices, even in Britain. My family for example would disallow relationships and/or marriage with a person of a different caste, they wouldn't hesitate to disown me if I was to marry somebody who wasn't a Jatt say (we've had this very discussion before). So yes, caste in some families does dominate who you can and cannot be with romantically, but doesn't determine who I can and cannot be friends with.
I also feel that there is sometimes a fair bit of hostility between people belonging to different castes; I've heard people of other castes say that Jatt's are overly proud and snobby.

The caste system is still pretty prevalent even among us British Asians and I can't see that changing any time soon

It will change rapidly if you don't teach this anachronistic system to your children.
Original post by preetg97
I believe that caste does still play a significant role in determining social and relationship choices, even in Britain. My family for example would disallow relationships and/or marriage with a person of a different caste, they wouldn't hesitate to disown me if I was to marry somebody who wasn't a Jatt say (we've had this very discussion before). So yes, caste in some families does dominate who you can and cannot be with romantically, but doesn't determine who I can and cannot be friends with.
I also feel that there is sometimes a fair bit of hostility between people belonging to different castes; I've heard people of other castes say that Jatt's are overly proud and snobby.

The caste system is still pretty prevalent even among us British Asians and I can't see that changing any time soon


This is interesting, I've been told I'm a 'jatt' too but I've also been told that this doesn't fit in really with india's caste system, perhaps the system has more Hindu origins, I'm not sure, in fact I have no idea haha
Reply 27
Avatar for Josb
Josb
6
Original post by RivalPlayer
Does the caste system still have a significant influence on social and relationship choices among British Indians?
For example, are certain relationships discouraged or blocked entirely because of caste related differences?
Does being of a particular caste tacitly influence your social standing and general identity within British Indian communities?

Thoughts?


You should have asked: British Indians, will you threaten your children to disown them if they marry outside their caste?
Original post by Josb
It will change rapidly if you don't teach this anachronistic system to your children.


I never said I was planning to teach them this bs. I'm not a firm believer in the caste system like my elders.
Reply 29
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Josb
6
Original post by preetg97
I never said I was planning to teach them this bs. I'm not a firm believer in the caste system like my elders.


Then the caste system should disappear rapidly.
Though luckily my family could give two fs about it, it is a very embarrassing thing having lived in India.the whole caste system thing is not even advocated by Hinduism, it's just that middle age era kings decided to make a hierarchy similar to how kings and peasants were treated in the west . However, it is to be noted that there is a decline trend in people thinking about castes and definitely rare in modern cities like Mumbai or Hyderabad though it exists in rural areas such as the one in Haryana (near Delhi which is why there's a water crises and violent protests at the omens) .


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Original post by Josb
Then the caste system should disappear rapidly.


How would one persons actions make it disappear 'rapidly'? Nearly all people of my age (and my caste) are strong believers in it so it would take some time and generations for that matter for its importance to diminish.
Reply 32
Avatar for Josb
Josb
6
Well, it's more or less the same. Parents who think they own their children for ever.
Reply 33
Avatar for Josb
Josb
6
Original post by preetg97
How would one persons actions make it disappear 'rapidly'? Nearly all people of my age (and my caste) are strong believers in it so it would take some time and generations for that matter for its importance to diminish.


I thought your views were widespread. That's a shame.
Original post by Josb
Well, it's more or less the same. Parents who think they own their children for ever.


Hate to be that guy, but when you say "more or less the same" I think there is a major difference between how a Hindu family and a Muslim family treat their children.....


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Original post by preetg97
How would one persons actions make it disappear 'rapidly'? Nearly all people of my age (and my caste) are strong believers in it so it would take some time and generations for that matter for its importance to diminish.


Assuming you were born in 1997 due to username, I think people in our generation are rather very open minded even in India. I have lived in different parts of India, went to a government school and a private school there so I think at least from my experience, people in our generation could not give a toss about caste! (Luckily)


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Reply 36
Avatar for nucdev
nucdev
18
Original post by Josb
I thought your views were widespread. That's a shame.


Depends on the sub-communities.

Like in my community and wider family as well, we don't care about that and the number of people that have got married "out of caste/community" is quite high.
Original post by Sharkindustries
Assuming you were born in 1997 due to username, I think people in our generation are rather very open minded even in India. I have lived in different parts of India, went to a government school and a private school there so I think at least from my experience, people in our generation could not give a toss about caste! (Luckily)


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That's great, but I'm talking from experience too. All my cousins who are of my age, and friends who belong to the same caste as me deem it to be very important to them. But hey some think it's important and some don't.
Original post by preetg97
That's great, but I'm talking from experience too. All my cousins who are of my age, and friends who belong to the same caste as me deem it to be very important to them. But hey some think it's important and some don't.


I guess, but it's strikes as really odd to me that in my good 14-15 years in India about people in our generation saying such stuff. Hinduism is important to a lot of Hindus (to an extent to me too but that's because of the bloodshed which happens in the Mahabharata 😝) and similarly Islam to Muslims in our age, but castes is a bit old for our generation as they are much more modernised compared to older generations,


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I know it would make a huge difference if everyone felt the same, but the fact of the matter is that they don't. At the end of the day we look to enter relationships with people whom we share common ground with - whether that be religion, social status, level of wealth. So regardless of whether the caste system existed or not, we and our parents would still be picky as to choosing who we want to spend the rest of our lives with.

:fyi: I don't believe for a second that marrying within your caste or believing in it makes you a 'slave'.

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