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I'm a minority, I do well in real life but on Tinder I am invisible.

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Original post by HFBS
The idea of the friend zone is just pretty offensive. Unrequited feelings is a better term, as it implies that you respect her decision and her right to make that decision.


PC nanny state.
I've kinda had this.

I've had no matches on Tinder even though I spam right until I'm out of likes but I've had chances in real life, I've just been too oblivious to see it. It's weird.
Original post by Death Grips
Its two things mate:

1) IRL women have realistic standards, but online women get so many messages from guys, even average women, that their perception of their own value skyrockets and they expect all men to look like this:

http://40.media.tumblr.com/6009fe2eeae81bd340d5c8fb19374d4b/tumblr_nqze7gUhtV1ua7thto1_500.jpg

2) Online dating is very racist. If you are an ethnic minority man you are going to have a bad time. See evidence here:

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/race-attraction-2009-2014/



Wow, seen this? Okcupid stats based on reply rate to male senders.
For Asian men (i.e. me) the response rate from Middle Eastern Females is 5 points (!) higher than from Asian women. From Native American women it is 9 points higher and from black women it is 12 points higher! From South American women it's the same. . .

I think in this case it gives a indicator that I should be going for more types of women in real life rather than just White and Chinese. I am going to avoid online dating. I always thought the Middle Eastern/South Americans/Blacks never really thought of us as partners. When in actual reality it turns out that other Asian women are more or less the least likely to actually want to date us!
Original post by Death Grips
Its two things mate:

1) IRL women have realistic standards, but online women get so many messages from guys, even average women, that their perception of their own value skyrockets and they expect all men to look like this:

http://40.media.tumblr.com/6009fe2eeae81bd340d5c8fb19374d4b/tumblr_nqze7gUhtV1ua7thto1_500.jpg

2) Online dating is very racist. If you are an ethnic minority man you are going to have a bad time. See evidence here:

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/race-attraction-2009-2014/


Edit: i forgot the link:
http://s28.postimg.org/ocwnkp559/main_qimg_4d5c61e0e2b39e647165603e6dd68f77_conve.png

Wow, seen this? Okcupid stats based on reply rate to male senders.
For Asian men (i.e. me) the response rate from Middle Eastern Females is 5 points (!) higher than from Asian women. From Native American women it is 9 points higher and from black women it is 12 points higher! From South American women it's the same. . .

I think in this case it gives a indicator that I should be going for more types of women in real life rather than just White and Chinese. I am going to avoid online dating. I always thought the Middle Eastern/South Americans/Blacks never really thought of us as partners. When in actual reality it turns out that other Asian women are more or less the least likely to actually want to date us!
Original post by HFBS
The idea of the friend zone is just pretty offensive. Unrequited feelings is a better term, as it implies that you respect her decision and her right to make that decision.

I'll tell you who wouldn't be. I wasn't. Had a pretty good casual thing going on, and would have really liked to turn it into a relationship. Sadly, that wasn't on offer. Rather than throw around the idea that the other party owed me a relationship, I took a step back and we agreed on friendship. Still friends now.

If you like her as a person, then friendship shouldn't be some hardship or consolation prize just because you would like more.



PC nanny state. People get hurt over things, I stopped talking to her because I was jealous of her boyfriend. It's human, no one really got offended and we all carried on with our lives.
Reply 25
Avatar for HFBS
HFBS
11
Original post by Death Grips
Lol I dont think I have read anything more beta in my life.

If a girl friend zones you, the correct course of action is to forget she even exists.


Thereby proving my point that you weren't interested in her as a person, but purely in whether or not you could put your dick in her.
Original post by Anonymous
Wow, seen this? Okcupid stats based on reply rate to male senders.
For Asian men (i.e. me) the response rate from Middle Eastern Females is 5 points (!) higher than from Asian women. From Native American women it is 9 points higher and from black women it is 12 points higher! From South American women it's the same. . .

I think in this case it gives a indicator that I should be going for more types of women in real life rather than just White and Chinese. I am going to avoid online dating. I always thought the Middle Eastern/South Americans/Blacks never really thought of us as partners. When in actual reality it turns out that other Asian women are more or less the least likely to actually want to date us!


Yeah you should try Latinas, black, Middle Eastern, mixed race and other girls.

I think Asian girls will date Asian guys but usually only after trying to bag a white man first. I go to a uni with a lot of Asian girls and they are absolutely besotted by white people and go gaga over big eyes and blonde hair, even saying they want blonde kids one day (they don't seem to get that it is recessive lol). The Asian guys on the other hand don't give a flying monkeys about that kind of thing it seems.
Original post by Anonymous
PC nanny state. People get hurt over things, I stopped talking to her because I was jealous of her boyfriend. It's human, no one really got offended and we all carried on with our lives.


Snap lol.
Reply 28
Avatar for HFBS
HFBS
11
Original post by Anonymous
PC nanny state. People get hurt over things, I stopped talking to her because I was jealous of her boyfriend. It's human, no one really got offended and we all carried on with our lives.


Not PC nanny state. No-one told me to feel like this.

I'm glad you walked away. That was the right thing to do. The way you explained it, sounded like you were still hanging around waiting for her to notice you. I respect you more for not doing that.

Edited to add, how can you bitch about racism and political correctness all in one topic?
(edited 8 years ago)
I'm neither lol go me !!
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah you should try Latinas, black, Middle Eastern, mixed race and other girls.

I think Asian girls will date Asian guys but usually only after trying to bag a white man first. I go to a uni with a lot of Asian girls and they are absolutely besotted by white people and go gaga over big eyes and blonde hair, even saying they want blonde kids one day (they don't seem to get that it is recessive lol). The Asian guys on the other hand don't give a flying monkeys about that kind of thing it seems.



I know, you're right, I have seen it. I absolutely detest the idea of being second choice so even if it means that I "hate my own people", I am not really attracted to Asian girls because of their personalities. Basically, I would go for ANYONE but them.

I want women who I know love me for me, not someone who sees me as a second choice when they cannot bag a white man.
Original post by Anonymous
I know, you're right, I have seen it. I absolutely detest the idea of being second choice so even if it means that I "hate my own people", I am not really attracted to Asian girls because of their personalities. Basically, I would go for ANYONE but them.

I want women who I know love me for me, not someone who sees me as a second choice when they cannot bag a white man.


i once got off with a young woman in the club?
Original post by Anonymous
I know, you're right, I have seen it. I absolutely detest the idea of being second choice so even if it means that I "hate my own people", I am not really attracted to Asian girls because of their personalities. Basically, I would go for ANYONE but them.

I want women who I know love me for me, not someone who sees me as a second choice when they cannot bag a white man.


I think with some minorities who are self-hating the best thing you can do is date someone of a completely different background as they are the ones who will actually appreciate and compliment your features, whilst your own group will put you down for them. I think it's a good idea for you to leave Asian girls alone.
Original post by Anonymous
Does anyone else experience this? In real life when I go clubbing with friends I can pull girls pretty easily, getting approached to dance etc, twice a night is usual.

However, on Tinder, I really suck. I get 2-3 matches, if any.

My pictures are not terrible, but I get the feeling that people assume my profile is fake, or that I am a foreigner. I do live in the north east so that may have something to do with it.


Then why do u need Tinder ?
Original post by FrenchUnicorn
Then why do u need Tinder ?


My ego, really I am quite insecure to be 100% honest.
Original post by Anonymous
My ego, really I am quite insecure to be 100% honest.


Anw I see. But you know in Tinder they only see your pic , irl they have the pic plus the personnality. And what makes a girl being interested on a guy and stay interested is definitely the personnality
I mean ; on Tinder maybe girls come and say to themselves "oh he's good-looking" but then they'll go away, because they have nothing to hang on , see what I mean ?
Original post by FrenchUnicorn
Anw I see. But you know in Tinder they only see your pic , irl they have the pic plus the personnality. And what makes a girl being interested on a guy and stay interested is definitely the personnality
I mean ; on Tinder maybe girls come and say to themselves "oh he's good-looking" but then they'll go away, because they have nothing to hang on , see what I mean ?


Can people really see my personality in nightclubs though?
Original post by Anonymous
Can people really see my personality in nightclubs though?


No that's not what I want to say .. I'm sorry it's hard to explain in english
When you're irl you can get attention , bring attention to you and KEEP attention. Because you can see the reactions of the girl and act in consequences
On Tinder you can't. I'm sorry if I'm not clear enough ^^"
Original post by FrenchUnicorn
No that's not what I want to say .. I'm sorry it's hard to explain in english
When you're irl you can get attention , bring attention to you and KEEP attention. Because you can see the reactions of the girl and act in consequences
On Tinder you can't. I'm sorry if I'm not clear enough ^^"


Ahhh i get you, that is very true.
Original post by Anonymous
Ahhh i get you, that is very true.


Good! So you don't have to think about what happens on Tinder , if you consider yourself good enough to keep attention in real life, then that's pretty good ! Isn't it ?

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