The Student Room Group
Uni students - Complete our survey >>
Uni students - Complete our survey >>
Uni students - Complete our survey >>

What is his deal? Need advice!!!

So basically I've been 'dating' this guy since the start of the year, we've been friends for about 6 months but he started speaking to me a lot more around a month ago. We met up a few times in college and got on really well, we texted often, I've even been to his house a couple times and visited him at work. He would always hug me/kiss me and hold my hand in public whenever we were together. The last time I saw him was over two weeks ago, and everything was fine then. He's been pretty bad at texting since we've been seeing each other; I've usually been the one to start the conversation but it never bothered me because he always seemed like he wanted to talk, and to meet.
Since I last saw him we've hardly texted at all; he would reply to me for a bit and then stop replying or the conversation would just seem to die off so I wouldn't reply. I asked him over a week ago if he still wanted to talk to me and he said 'yeah i'm just busy at the moment'. So I left it for a bit, texted him again last week asking if he wanted to meet me in college, he said he couldn't (because he had a doctors appointment) so I then asked if he wanted to meet at some other point in the week. He then said he didnt know when he was next free, and could he let me know. I said 'yeah as long as you still want to actually meet?' and again he just said 'yeah i'm just quite busy at the moment'. It's been 5 days since that conversation and I haven't texted him but nor has he texted me. I'm so confused, is he genuinely busy? Or is he trying to avoid me/lost interest and hasn't had the courage to tell me?
I don't know what else to do, I've asked him twice and each time he has said yes. I don't know if I'm overthinking this, or whether I should just give up on him/confront him about it all.
Please help!
Original post by Anonymous
So basically I've been 'dating' this guy since the start of the year, we've been friends for about 6 months but he started speaking to me a lot more around a month ago. We met up a few times in college and got on really well, we texted often, I've even been to his house a couple times and visited him at work. He would always hug me/kiss me and hold my hand in public whenever we were together. The last time I saw him was over two weeks ago, and everything was fine then. He's been pretty bad at texting since we've been seeing each other; I've usually been the one to start the conversation but it never bothered me because he always seemed like he wanted to talk, and to meet.
Since I last saw him we've hardly texted at all; he would reply to me for a bit and then stop replying or the conversation would just seem to die off so I wouldn't reply. I asked him over a week ago if he still wanted to talk to me and he said 'yeah i'm just busy at the moment'. So I left it for a bit, texted him again last week asking if he wanted to meet me in college, he said he couldn't (because he had a doctors appointment) so I then asked if he wanted to meet at some other point in the week. He then said he didnt know when he was next free, and could he let me know. I said 'yeah as long as you still want to actually meet?' and again he just said 'yeah i'm just quite busy at the moment'. It's been 5 days since that conversation and I haven't texted him but nor has he texted me. I'm so confused, is he genuinely busy? Or is he trying to avoid me/lost interest and hasn't had the courage to tell me?
I don't know what else to do, I've asked him twice and each time he has said yes. I don't know if I'm overthinking this, or whether I should just give up on him/confront him about it all.
Please help!


We think differently. We're just chilled out, not concerned with the emotional complexity. You're thinking too much into it. He's just not bothered either way. He might be busy he might not be, but he just doesn't really think it as an issue, he's just chill. Best thing for you to do is chill. His non investment might be an indicator, but not really a big deal.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Jimib5863
We think differently. We're just chilled out, not concerned with the emotional complexity. You're thinking too much into it. He's just not bothered either way. He might be busy he might not be, but he just doesn't really think it as an issue, he's just chill. Best thing for you to do is chill. His non investment might be an indicator, but not really a big deal.


Not sure I really agree with this, you're generalising all men by saying they're all chill and don't think about emotional complexity, but that's ********.

OP, from what it sounds like, it appears as if he's lost interest, as he isn't initiating conversation nor is he giving you a date when you can next meet up. Perhaps text him again and ask to meet up - give him a list of possible dates. If he can't make any of them then something's definitely up. Communication is key, so tell him how you feel and see how he responds. If it's with indifference, then he's not worth your time.
Rule of thumb;

If people genuinely like you, they will make time for you regardless of how busy they are.


From a guy's perspective, sorry to say, the little toad has lost interest. Stop chasing after him love, you got self respect too. Youve made the effort, if he doesnt reciprocate then his loss
You've already tried as much as you can.

Whether he is busy or not, the ball is in his court. If he hasn't messaged you in 5 days then I personally would say to you to just live your life.

I've met people before where both of us have been so busy we used to only text once or twice a week but we both had that mutual understanding.

Whereas in your position you are clearly trying and busy or not, this guy isn't. It's not hard to quickly text 'bit busy, but I hope you're okay, talk soon' is it? Takes two seconds.

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you