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boyfriend not allowed to sleep over

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Reply 40
Those are good parents you have. Also if you need permission to take your bf into your house maybe you shouldn't have a bf.
Original post by Mancini
Those are good parents you have. Also if you need permission to take your bf into your house maybe you shouldn't have a bf.


I'm not sure that logically follows...
Reply 42
Original post by Just want oreos
absolutely it's fair enough- it's their house.
maybe in the future convince them that nothing 'dodgy' is gonna happen or perhaps when the relationship progresses they may accept it due to the trusted commitment the two of you have towards each other.
i never ever thought my parents would let me invite mine over and now they do because they really like him and trust the two of us- try make that happen :smile:

You are too young to live with your boyfriend, so your parents are correct not allowing him to say overnight in your room. Once you are 18 you can then get a flat and have him in your house as long as you want to.
Original post by sleepysnooze
I hate it when parents are absolute prudes. my parents were the same.


Mine don't let me have male friends over during daylight hours...let alone my boyfriend who they don't know about. most of my friends are guys and then they complain that I always go out to see my friends and never bring them over here.

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Original post by DougallnDougall
In your universe perhaps but certainly not in mine. I'm not kept on a leash anything but, however I have a great deal of self respect and most certainly am not nor will I ever be a notch on someone's bedpost.


Having sex with your boyfriend of 6 months at 18 years old is far from demonstrating a lack of self respect.
Original post by AmazingArry
Mine don't let me have male friends over during daylight hours...let alone my boyfriend who they don't know about. most of my friends are guys and then they complain that I always go out to see my friends and never bring them over here.

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if only I could go back in time to when I was about to start seeing girls and actually have the courage to tell my parents about it (when I dated, I literally couldn't say anything because my parents would probe me - once I had a sleepover and her parents phoned my dad, whom I had told I was seeing my male friend for the night). if they would prohibit me from dating I would give them the hardest time of their life in response - I would be the worst son in the world, seeing as they wouldn't deserve a good and well-behaved son if his natural urges arent even allowed to be acted upon as if he was a human being. not letting kids date is such a repressive and disgraceful concept to me. it is absolutely reasonless and merely for the cultural idea that parents should be blocking their sons and daughters from having fun merely for the sake of abiding to that ancient cultural standard. if I ever become a parent I will be incredibly encouraging and open about sex and relationships. I mean, my father never even gave me "the talk". he never even told me about ****ing condoms. I didn't learn about very important information until way later down the line, seeing as the school I was in was no better.
(edited 8 years ago)
My parents wouldn't care at all, but you are living in their house so if it is a major issue, move out and see how long you last.
Original post by DougallnDougall
In your universe perhaps but certainly not in mine. I'm not kept on a leash anything but, however I have a great deal of self respect and most certainly am not nor will I ever be a notch on someone's bedpost.

Sooo... youre never going to sleep with anyone.
Having sex with my boyfriend doesnt mean i lack self respect. I like sex.
Original post by almorr
You are too young to live with your boyfriend, so your parents are correct not allowing him to say overnight in your room. Once you are 18 you can then get a flat and have him in your house as long as you want to.


ermm well mine do as it gets too late for him to go home sometimes- its easier and safer
plus there is a huge difference between staying over for the night and living with someone.
Original post by sleepysnooze
if only I could go back in time to when I was about to start seeing girls and actually have the courage to tell my parents about it (when I dated, I literally couldn't say anything because my parents would probe me - once I had a sleepover and her parents phoned my dad, whom I had told I was seeing my male friend for the night). if they would prohibit me from dating I would give them the hardest time of their life in response - I would be the worst son in the world, seeing as they wouldn't deserve a good and well-behaved son if his natural urges arent even allowed to be acted upon as if he was a human being. not letting kids date is such a repressive and disgraceful concept to me. it is absolutely reasonless and merely for the cultural idea that parents should be blocking their sons and daughters from having fun merely for the sake of abiding to that ancient cultural standard. if I ever become a parent I will be incredibly encouraging and open about sex and relationships. I mean, my father never even gave me "the talk". he never even told me about ****ing condoms. I didn't learn about very important information until way later down the line, seeing as the school I was in was no better.


I didn't get the talk either. I had to find out during sex ed at school that I was going to bleed though an organ I didn't know I had. When I first found out about sex, I thought it was rank, I was 13 ffs... some people would have lost their virginity by that age. It pisses me off now when I meet someone as sheltered as I was who are in their late teens. They've got a lot to learn about this world.
Reply 50
Original post by AmazingArry
I didn't get the talk either. I had to find out during sex ed at school that I was going to bleed though an organ I didn't know I had. When I first found out about sex, I thought it was rank, I was 13 ffs... some people would have lost their virginity by that age. It pisses me off now when I meet someone as sheltered as I was who are in their late teens. They've got a lot to learn about this world.


I also was never given "the talk" either by my parents or for that matter at school as well, well I did learn about sex at school, in the playground, I am a guy so its was all about penis and masturbating, yes I learned about masturbating at school, not sex ed but in the playground. My parents never said it was bad or good, never mentioned sex to me as a son, but my sister was told all about it by her and my mother.
To everyone saying "just move out" you act like its so easy fora young person to afford housing 🙄
Original post by em211997
To everyone saying "just move out" you act like its so easy fora young person to afford housing 🙄

Don't unfairly restrict yourself. Housing everywhere is extremely expensive - and going higher. The facts are, that unless you are earning an above average income, you cannot afford to live by yourself unless you are independently wealthy. In the D.C. area, for a flat located in a part of town where you can go outside without being mugged after dark, you are probably going to be paying $2500 to $3000 a month for a 2 bedroom. This means - if you are going to eat and have some kind of transportation, you are going to have to bring in about $5000 a month, or $60k per year. Given a 40% tax rate, this means your gross income will have to be something around $85,000 to $100,000 per year. With a 2 br flat, you COULD have a roommate. This could cause problems vis-a-vi overnight guests, unless your roommate IS your overnight guest.

With houses 'listing' at their current level here - about $280,000 to $350,000 for a 3 bedroom single family home on a 1/4 acre lot, you would have to have a combined household income of about $150,000 to $200,000. This is in a mainly 'blue collar' area, where most inhabitants have a lifestyle where the male is a plumber or dry-wall hanger, and the wife drives a school bus part time. Normally, those sort of ppl don't bring in that kind of money here [by about 2x to one]. I don't know who is going to buy these houses long term, because neurosurgeons and stock brokers don't live in my neighborhood. They live elsewhere - where house prices are even higher. How they are paying for the houses, i can't imagine. It may be like Oz - where houses 'list' for over a million $ Au, and the 'purchasers take out 'interest only' loans - where they will never actually own anything - just pay the interest on the loan. Of course, this means that - come the first economic 'suck out' - the banks will own all the homes, because all the purchasers will default. Best of luck!!
Original post by Rabbit2
Don't unfairly restrict yourself. Housing everywhere is extremely expensive - and going higher. The facts are, that unless you are earning an above average income, you cannot afford to live by yourself unless you are independently wealthy. In the D.C. area, for a flat located in a part of town where you can go outside without being mugged after dark, you are probably going to be paying $2500 to $3000 a month for a 2 bedroom. This means - if you are going to eat and have some kind of transportation, you are going to have to bring in about $5000 a month, or $60k per year. Given a 40% tax rate, this means your gross income will have to be something around $85,000 to $100,000 per year. With a 2 br flat, you COULD have a roommate. This could cause problems vis-a-vi overnight guests, unless your roommate IS your overnight guest.

With houses 'listing' at their current level here - about $280,000 to $350,000 for a 3 bedroom single family home on a 1/4 acre lot, you would have to have a combined household income of about $150,000 to $200,000. This is in a mainly 'blue collar' area, where most inhabitants have a lifestyle where the male is a plumber or dry-wall hanger, and the wife drives a school bus part time. Normally, those sort of ppl don't bring in that kind of money here [by about 2x to one]. I don't know who is going to buy these houses long term, because neurosurgeons and stock brokers don't live in my neighborhood. They live elsewhere - where house prices are even higher. How they are paying for the houses, i can't imagine. It may be like Oz - where houses 'list' for over a million $ Au, and the 'purchasers take out 'interest only' loans - where they will never actually own anything - just pay the interest on the loan. Of course, this means that - come the first economic 'suck out' - the banks will own all the homes, because all the purchasers will default. Best of luck!!

Why have you bumped a three year old thread?
Original post by Anonymous
my boyfriend and i have been together for 6 months and my parents won't let him stay in my room. Obviously I really want him to but I can't tell if my parents are right to not let him. Some of my friends say they're being archaic and they can't own my sexuality ect whilst others say it's fair enough in their house.

Who is right?

several years late, embarassed by all the answers in this section, parents have bad logic and as much as it is their house and their rules you can't expect every sleepover to be a banging session, that's ridiculous especially to over generalise every single young relationship like that, on the bright side you can always have naps when going to each other's houses (i'd hope)
Original post by Sammylou40
Why have you bumped a three year old thread?


Because i thought the topic was even more appropriate today. Housing prices have continued to go up, whilst income (at least mine) has not. PPl entering upon a degree pgm now, more than ever, need to consider what they are going to do with their degree, and how they are going to live - once they graduate. The time to consider these things [IMHO] is before you start the degree program, NOT afterwards, or part way through. Deciding that a 'certificate' in hotel management will not equip you to move out of your 'rents home is inappropriate 2/3 of the way through the program. This information should be valid for the next 50 years or more. Cheers.

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