In secret, I'm enchanted by psychopaths, narcissists, addicts and alcoholics <3

The more cold they are and the more they lack empathy the more I want them to love me.

I know they will never make me a priority, or even an option because the drugs, alcohol, their ego etc. will always come miles above me.

I love been trampled on, I love being turned away and rejected, I love being put down and I love to be abused.

I want to be punished by them. I can't get any piece of mind without being chastised I just don't feel alive.

It seems I can only love those who can never love me. I've never once in my life attracted someone who respects me or cares about me whatsoever. Only those who see me as a vessel to do whatever they want with and dispose of. Please help how can I break this?

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Reply 1

Blondie987

Speak to a counsellor, please.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Blondie987

Speak to a counsellor, please.

I have a counsellor but I'm too scared to mention it to her. Plus we only have a few sessions left now.

Reply 3

ithinkitslily

sounds like a fanfiction blurb

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by ithinkitslily

sounds like a fanfiction blurb

No, I'm dead serious :frown:

Reply 5

Blondie987

Original post by Anonymous

I have a counsellor but I'm too scared to mention it to her. Plus we only have a few sessions left now.

She's there to help you, you haven't done anything wrong but it will be much better for your sake and safety to speak to a professional especially if you're already in a position to speak to do so, it will definitely help you :smile:

Reply 6

High Stakes

You won't find any sorts here. The type of people inhabiting this website will shag anything that moves and cling to it like their lives depends on it. :wink:

Reply 7

queen-bee

Honey,speak to your GP who will refer you elsewhere so you can get all the help you need :smile:

Reply 8

TeeEm

Original post by Anonymous

we all have our problems ...

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I believe you but this is seriously unhealthy! You need to see a professional (GP, mental health worker whoever) about this all of this otherwise you're seriously going to mess your life up and you might think that sounds precious but they'll come a point where it isn't and you wish you hadn't got tangled in so much ****. Get help for this.

Reply 11

whorace

You're a bit dim then aren't you really

Reply 12

tinkerbelle2

This is really sad. I hate to think what sort of life you must have had to feel this way. I'm so sorry for that. But just know that you are lovable. I'm sorry that you haven't met the right people in your life to help you see it. It sounds as if you are so used to feeling unhappy that you seek out negative emotions because that is what you feel safe with, and when people are nice to you it makes you uncomfortable.

The fact that you've recognised this and been able to articulate is wonderful actually, because now you have realised something isn't right and it's the first step in being able to do something about it. You can change things for yourself.

You're already seeing a counsellor which is really proactive and brave, so well done for that! You just really need to find the courage to try and tell her about these other things, because they are hugely important and probably affect EVERYTHING in your life - your relationships, sex life, work, studies. She can really help you to see things in a different way and lead a happy, healthy life.

The most important thing to improve here is your perception of yourself. When you start to have more self-value and self-worth, you won't want to seek out people who treat you like crap anymore.

I really believe in you! X

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(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 13

Dead_again

Original post by Anonymous

I want to love this person, just so they can't get what they want.

you need help

Original post by High Stakes

You won't find any sorts here. The type of people inhabiting this website will shag anything that moves and cling to it like their lives depends on it. :wink:

I disagree with your comment.

Reply 16

z33

Original post by Dead_again

I disagree with your comment.

says the one gemmer LOOOOOOOOL

Spoiler

Reply 17

Fordrin

Original post by High Stakes

You won't find any sorts here. The type of people inhabiting this website will shag anything that moves and cling to it like their lives depends on it. :wink:

Duuuuuuude, do you think all of us a rapists and pervs?