best time to end a fairly new relationship? advice from girls appreciated

After much deliberation, I think I'm going to dump my girlfriend. We were seeing each other for 3 months, now been together 2 months.

Her friends are coming up to our Uni tomorrow for a night out, and I'm meant to be coming to pre's to meet them all. Should I do it in the day before the night out so all her friends are there to help her? Or should I wait until Sunday onwards, so she can enjoy all her friends coming to visit her?

I think she has quite strong feelings for me, I wan't it to be as painless as possible for her.

any help or points of view would be great.

Thanks,
M.

Reply 1

claireestelle

Original post by Anonymous

I dont think there's anyway of making it painless but maybe doing it when you know she'll have friends round to support her is slightly kinder i suppose.

Reply 2

whorace

After, she might think her friends are laughing at her and push them away or something, imagine if you invited all your mates and said 'meet my girlfriend she's so great' and then she broke up with you on the day.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by whorace

wow I really never thought of that, that's a really good point.

Reply 4

Akarim11

It's going to hurt whether you do it before or after the night out.

I would advise that you don't do it before the night out, because her and her friends with spend the entire night bitching about you. They'll eventually get annoyed. They would then not want to hang out with her. And that will result her in losing her boyfriend and her friends.

I'll stick to breaking up with her after the night out.

But, you can just see how you feel after the night out? Idek

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by AthiaKarim

seems after the night is the best way. Yeah I'll probably change my mind loads of times, that's all I have been doing. But the fact I'm changing my mind back and forth is probably enough reason to end it. It's not fair on her if she's mad into it and I'm deciding whether or not to leave.

Reply 6

MountKimbie

Original post by whorace

This.

Original post by TheArtofProtest

you might even get a shag from one of her more flaky friends.

Um...

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by TheArtofProtest

There is no painless way. There is only pain and this depends on whether she chucks a lip gloss bottle at you or a heavy duty frying pan.

Take her out for a walk before her friends come over. That way, she can spend the rest of the day with her friends hating you and who knows, you might even get a shag from one of her more flaky friends.

that's not really an outcome I'd hope for

Reply 8

whorace

Original post by TheArtofProtest

LOL always the pragmatist

Reply 9

chikane

Original post by Anonymous

Don't ruin her night out do it on Sunday.

Reply 10

bumblebee342

Tbh if anything (if I were the girl), I'd rather you do it before the night out. At least then there's the night out/friends as a distraction

Reply 11

Desideria

Original post by whorace

I think that that is more of a reason to break up beforehand. If he waits, she'll have introduced him to her friends one way or another and then if he calls it quits on Sunday it won't be much better than ending it the same night. If her friends are real friends they will support her, not make her feel inadequate.

I would say OP, that the sooner you let her go, the better. Maybe you should just ring her up right now and go take a walk. (It's rather late, I know, but the dark may make it easier to communicate).

Original post by Anonymous

Reply 12

ellej93

Original post by Anonymous

There is nothing you can do to make it painless as much as possible. You already know that she has deep feelings for you. Just wait till Sunday if you really decide to do it.

Reply 13

whorace

If you want to absolve personal responsibility from making a clearly difficult decision, put a poll up and go with the highest number of votes.

Reply 14

BekahMay

Original post by Anonymous

If it was me I'd want to know before
I'd feel like a right idiot if I introduced a guy to a bunch of mates and then the next day he dumps me

Reply 15

Akarim11

Original post by Anonymous

yes thats definitely true. it is not fair on you both. you need time apart to know what you really want, if youre sceptical of your relationship with her now.
do whats best for you and get past this little hurdle x

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

Original post by whorace

If you want to absolve personal responsibility from making a clearly difficult decision, put a poll up and go with the highest number of votes.

this did make me laugh.

Thanks for all the discussion guys, you've all raised points I hadn't thought of. I'm still unsure of when/if to do it, but you guys have helped. Many thanks

Reply 17

HFBS

I think do it now. If you don't want to be with her, let her move on and stop wasting her time. If you do it now she can have all her old friends there to trash your name while she gets drunk on Saturday night, goes dancing and forgets you. It's for the best.