Female, 23 and muslim - feel like I'll forever be single...
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Original post by HucktheForde
Common sense says remove everything that causes you trouble and difficulties and attempt to limit you from achieving full potential in life so you get to live a better life.
If islam is that thing, remove it. This world has no lack of oppressive ideologies that seeks to bring pain to mankind.
It is just a simple fact that if you widen your dating pool, you have a better chance. It does not make any sense to try to overcome this problem by further reducing your chances. Acknowledging that it is wrong to marry outside of your faith because some book says so, but unable to weigh in the pros and cons and thus take consideration of its effect and consequences, and make independent judgement based on each individual case is not logic, its blindness.
Only OP can be responsible for her life, not you not me and certainly not allah or muhamed. Dont ruin her life by giving her irresponsible advice. Dont tell someone who has diabetes "eat more sugar, eat more sugar".
If islam is that thing, remove it. This world has no lack of oppressive ideologies that seeks to bring pain to mankind.
It is just a simple fact that if you widen your dating pool, you have a better chance. It does not make any sense to try to overcome this problem by further reducing your chances. Acknowledging that it is wrong to marry outside of your faith because some book says so, but unable to weigh in the pros and cons and thus take consideration of its effect and consequences, and make independent judgement based on each individual case is not logic, its blindness.
Only OP can be responsible for her life, not you not me and certainly not allah or muhamed. Dont ruin her life by giving her irresponsible advice. Dont tell someone who has diabetes "eat more sugar, eat more sugar".
I understand completely what you're saying, but I am muslim and would like to marry and be with someone who has the same values as me. I think I'd have a deeper connection with a muslim guy for that reason. They'd "get" me better and understand my way of life, as it would be theirs too.
When I have tried picturing myself with a non-muslim guy (properly), guilt sets in and my gut tells me that it's wrong. It's so difficult to go against something you've been brought up to believe.
My personality probably plays a part too. It's not in my nature to "break the rules", so to speak.
Heyy I think it's great that your sticking to your beliefs and values and thinking of marrying a muslim. Don't worry you will meet your partner when the time is right. I'm a 24 yr old female, graduated with a maths degree and still haven't found a guy but I'm in no rush. I think God will send him when the time is right. As for dating I wouldn't actually date just have a few meetings prior to marriage to get to know the guy better and his family - maybe you could try it that way.
Original post by muzi786
u shud have tht intention atleast in your later life try to wear it for Gods sake.
Hijab is not a big issue the way people make it out 2 be. Iv studied Islam for over 5 yrs Hijab u shud wear it but its not a major sin it doesnt even come in the top 50 major sins etc. Hijab is 2 protect the woman .
Its not about "looking Muslim" Its about being Muslim
Islam is in your heart and praying fasting etc thts a Muslim .
Avoid non Muslim men as much as possible by the way where are u from originally ?
Hijab is not a big issue the way people make it out 2 be. Iv studied Islam for over 5 yrs Hijab u shud wear it but its not a major sin it doesnt even come in the top 50 major sins etc. Hijab is 2 protect the woman .
Its not about "looking Muslim" Its about being Muslim
Islam is in your heart and praying fasting etc thts a Muslim .
Avoid non Muslim men as much as possible by the way where are u from originally ?
what do you mean intention in later life?
she could die tomorrow, next week, next year.
the sooner you wear it the better, she might not get that chance again
not big issue?
you know hijab is COMPULSORY right?
its good you've studied islam for so long but come on, you should know the basics.
looking muslim can include wearing hijab for women or having a beard for men
Yes of-course I identify as muslim, but I don't have a single muslim friend who is completely inexperienced, so I feel behind in life, and like I'm missing out.
I think just the knowledge that other muslims I may know may see that I am on an online dating site. I don't know. I think I will join though. Especially seeing as it's free for females anyway.
Ha - yes, for all its downsides, the judgement thing is one of the reasons I like living in a non-muslim majority area.
I think just the knowledge that other muslims I may know may see that I am on an online dating site. I don't know. I think I will join though. Especially seeing as it's free for females anyway.
Ha - yes, for all its downsides, the judgement thing is one of the reasons I like living in a non-muslim majority area.
Original post by Anonymous
what do you mean intention in later life?
she could die tomorrow, next week, next year.
the sooner you wear it the better, she might not get that chance again
not big issue?
you know hijab is COMPULSORY right?
its good you've studied islam for so long but come on, you should know the basics.
looking muslim can include wearing hijab for women or having a beard for men
she could die tomorrow, next week, next year.
the sooner you wear it the better, she might not get that chance again
not big issue?
you know hijab is COMPULSORY right?
its good you've studied islam for so long but come on, you should know the basics.
looking muslim can include wearing hijab for women or having a beard for men
Dying without praying salah is 100 times worse than not wearing Hijab.
True she should wear it asap however it takes time like the early Muslims didnt stop drinking alcohol straight away it took time. For some women hijab takes time. Hijab is ranked among the minor sins in Islam u know that . Hijab did not come straight away it came in the late period in medina. So think about it the prophets migrated to medina a state has been established yet hijab is not the first command he enforced but it came later. If she is praying fasting etc then she should wear the hijab straight away.
If shes not praying dont talk about hijab yet salah comes first. If u knw wht i mean. Im not saying Hijab is not compulsory it is but the 5 pillars are worth more than the hijab Islam is not built upon the hijab but it is built upon the 5 pillars.
Original post by Anonymous
Twice now I've ended up being friends with muslim guys I really liked. With the second guy, I fell hard, but he just wanted to hang out, watch netflix and go out for lunch every week and just wasn't really into me.
There are many problems I'm facing right now. Firstly, I started uni this year (late I know) after realising I wanted to be a teacher. This means I'm surrounded by mostly younger guys. Also, I'm part of probably the smallest muslim ethnic group in the country, and as most prefer to marry their own race, it makes it hard. As I don't wear a hijab (cover my hair) I don't stand out as muslim. I'm also constantly told I don't look ethnically muslim.
I'm lucky to have open-minded parents, who despite fasting 5 times daily, have said they wouldn't get mad if I don't marry a muslim guy (tbh I think they'd just rather not see me die alone as they know the problem I'm facing). I do however want to find a muslim guy to marry, but I'm starting to lose hope and become depressed. I turn down non-muslim guys I find attractive, but I fear I'll be alone forever
Thanks for reading if you got this far
There are many problems I'm facing right now. Firstly, I started uni this year (late I know) after realising I wanted to be a teacher. This means I'm surrounded by mostly younger guys. Also, I'm part of probably the smallest muslim ethnic group in the country, and as most prefer to marry their own race, it makes it hard. As I don't wear a hijab (cover my hair) I don't stand out as muslim. I'm also constantly told I don't look ethnically muslim.
I'm lucky to have open-minded parents, who despite fasting 5 times daily, have said they wouldn't get mad if I don't marry a muslim guy (tbh I think they'd just rather not see me die alone as they know the problem I'm facing). I do however want to find a muslim guy to marry, but I'm starting to lose hope and become depressed. I turn down non-muslim guys I find attractive, but I fear I'll be alone forever
Thanks for reading if you got this far
What ethnic background are you from?
It must be difficult, but keep faith in Allah. Maybe try Shaadi.com? Or maybe your younger friends at uni have older brothers you don't know about? That's why it's good to keep a lot of friends and keep your options open.
Good luck
Apologies for the really late reply. I think the website are free for women as it's mainly men signing up. Think the opposite is true for meet up events though, or so I've heard. I'll look into this too as I'd not really considered it before.
Thank you so much for understanding. You've really made some helpful suggestions that have given me some hope.
Thank you so much for understanding. You've really made some helpful suggestions that have given me some hope.
Original post by am_blue
What ethnic background are you from?
It must be difficult, but keep faith in Allah. Maybe try Shaadi.com? Or maybe your younger friends at uni have older brothers you don't know about? That's why it's good to keep a lot of friends and keep your options open.
Good luck
It must be difficult, but keep faith in Allah. Maybe try Shaadi.com? Or maybe your younger friends at uni have older brothers you don't know about? That's why it's good to keep a lot of friends and keep your options open.
Good luck
Sorry for the late reply. I can't state my ethnicity here, as I don't my identity to be revealed. I would say 70% of my friends are non-muslim, which is probably why I'm going to struggle in terms of using contacts for help, but I'll definitely explore that option.
Hey don't even stress about it silly. We've all been in situations where we've fallen for someone who didn't feel the same way or rejected someone because they're not muslim or just not very good for us.
Its totally awesome that have open minded parents, it always helps. I do too
Be patient, keep praying. Most of the time you find your answer in prayer, it'll help with the depression too. God says 'I created you in pairs' you'll find your other half and even the mountains won't be able to keep you and your other half apart.
Most of the time, this person comes along when you're not looking or least expecting and when they finally do come along. You'll realise why it never worked out with anyone else.
Tbh this person is probably wondering where you are right now lol.
I know its not much but I hoped that helped, even if it was a little bit
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Its totally awesome that have open minded parents, it always helps. I do too
Be patient, keep praying. Most of the time you find your answer in prayer, it'll help with the depression too. God says 'I created you in pairs' you'll find your other half and even the mountains won't be able to keep you and your other half apart.
Most of the time, this person comes along when you're not looking or least expecting and when they finally do come along. You'll realise why it never worked out with anyone else.
Tbh this person is probably wondering where you are right now lol.
I know its not much but I hoped that helped, even if it was a little bit
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
Sorry for the late reply. I can't state my ethnicity here, as I don't my identity to be revealed. I would say 70% of my friends are non-muslim, which is probably why I'm going to struggle in terms of using contacts for help, but I'll definitely explore that option.
Are you actually taking the piss? Revealing your ethnicity is going to reveal you lol? Are you the only person of your ethnicity in the UK?
Original post by Anonymous
Are you actually taking the piss? Revealing your ethnicity is going to reveal you lol? Are you the only person of your ethnicity in the UK?
Ignore the hateful comments
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by 08hasraf
It's not hateful, I want to help her out too as a muslim but she is really weird
Don't worry too much about it! I am the same but It's not like I am sad that no one likes me... I meet people and network alot. Your guy will come to you and without you knowing he's the one
I have friends who all have girl friends and boyfriends etc and they as me why are you still single etc, I told them it's not like I'm looking for someone, if someone nice comes along and we get closer then why not give it a shot and see how it goes regardless of religion or race etc!
Just enjoy your life and the company of those that are close to you! I like to travel alot and meet people perhaps you should attend more events etc with groups of your university to get to know more people than the ones you already hang around with!
I have friends who all have girl friends and boyfriends etc and they as me why are you still single etc, I told them it's not like I'm looking for someone, if someone nice comes along and we get closer then why not give it a shot and see how it goes regardless of religion or race etc!
Just enjoy your life and the company of those that are close to you! I like to travel alot and meet people perhaps you should attend more events etc with groups of your university to get to know more people than the ones you already hang around with!
(edited 8 years ago)
There are a thousands people in this world and you will definitely find someone. People have different taste with each other and you will find someone who is into you. Be patient and don't worry about it.
Original post by Emily babezxx
There are a thousands people in this world and you will definitely find someone. People have different taste with each other and you will find someone who is into you. Be patient and don't worry about it.
7+Billion people to be exact haha
Original post by Anonymous
what do you mean intention in later life?
she could die tomorrow, next week, next year.
the sooner you wear it the better, she might not get that chance again
not big issue?
you know hijab is COMPULSORY right?
its good you've studied islam for so long but come on, you should know the basics.
looking muslim can include wearing hijab for women or having a beard for men
she could die tomorrow, next week, next year.
the sooner you wear it the better, she might not get that chance again
not big issue?
you know hijab is COMPULSORY right?
its good you've studied islam for so long but come on, you should know the basics.
looking muslim can include wearing hijab for women or having a beard for men
Dont know where you get that from but you need to brush up on you research
Hijab is NOT compulsory...
Lmao thanks for being so precise!
Original post by Anonymous
Twice now I've ended up being friends with muslim guys I really liked. With the second guy, I fell hard, but he just wanted to hang out, watch netflix and go out for lunch every week and just wasn't really into me.
There are many problems I'm facing right now. Firstly, I started uni this year (late I know) after realising I wanted to be a teacher. This means I'm surrounded by mostly younger guys. Also, I'm part of probably the smallest muslim ethnic group in the country, and as most prefer to marry their own race, it makes it hard. As I don't wear a hijab (cover my hair) I don't stand out as muslim. I'm also constantly told I don't look ethnically muslim.
I'm lucky to have open-minded parents, who despite fasting 5 times daily, have said they wouldn't get mad if I don't marry a muslim guy (tbh I think they'd just rather not see me die alone as they know the problem I'm facing). I do however want to find a muslim guy to marry, but I'm starting to lose hope and become depressed. I turn down non-muslim guys I find attractive, but I fear I'll be alone forever
Thanks for reading if you got this far
There are many problems I'm facing right now. Firstly, I started uni this year (late I know) after realising I wanted to be a teacher. This means I'm surrounded by mostly younger guys. Also, I'm part of probably the smallest muslim ethnic group in the country, and as most prefer to marry their own race, it makes it hard. As I don't wear a hijab (cover my hair) I don't stand out as muslim. I'm also constantly told I don't look ethnically muslim.
I'm lucky to have open-minded parents, who despite fasting 5 times daily, have said they wouldn't get mad if I don't marry a muslim guy (tbh I think they'd just rather not see me die alone as they know the problem I'm facing). I do however want to find a muslim guy to marry, but I'm starting to lose hope and become depressed. I turn down non-muslim guys I find attractive, but I fear I'll be alone forever
Thanks for reading if you got this far
Why does the guy have to be muslim? I don't understand. I can understand the ethnicity thing, people are attracted to their own race and that's fair enough. But religion is solely a personal matter and it should be left as the individual's choice. Not marrying someone solely because of their choice of religion is in my opinion racism.
I have a similar problem. Generally I'm attracted to pakistanis, indians and bengalis but since I'm pakistani and I feel more immediate attraction to pakistani women. However, I converted from Islam and I'm now an atheist. My problem isn't that I haven't found people, it's that Pakistani and Bengali women always get put off when I tell them I'm not a muslim, it's always been the obvious elephant in the room with all my interactions with them. I've had women that were attracted to me and interested in me, but then slowly seemed to lost interest after me telling them I'm not a muslim.
Religion should not come in between love.
Original post by Anonymous
Why does the guy have to be muslim? I don't understand. I can understand the ethnicity thing, people are attracted to their own race and that's fair enough. But religion is solely a personal matter and it should be left as the individual's choice. Not marrying someone solely because of their choice of religion is in my opinion racism.
I have a similar problem. Generally I'm attracted to pakistanis, indians and bengalis but since I'm pakistani and I feel more immediate attraction to pakistani women. However, I converted from Islam and I'm now an atheist. My problem isn't that I haven't found people, it's that Pakistani and Bengali women always get put off when I tell them I'm not a muslim, it's always been the obvious elephant in the room with all my interactions with them. I've had women that were attracted to me and interested in me, but then slowly seemed to lost interest after me telling them I'm not a muslim.
Religion should not come in between love.
I have a similar problem. Generally I'm attracted to pakistanis, indians and bengalis but since I'm pakistani and I feel more immediate attraction to pakistani women. However, I converted from Islam and I'm now an atheist. My problem isn't that I haven't found people, it's that Pakistani and Bengali women always get put off when I tell them I'm not a muslim, it's always been the obvious elephant in the room with all my interactions with them. I've had women that were attracted to me and interested in me, but then slowly seemed to lost interest after me telling them I'm not a muslim.
Religion should not come in between love.
I'm female, so can't marry a non-muslim if I want to stay muslim. The no sex before marriage thing is gonna be a deal-breaker for 99.99999% of guys. It complicates things with how to bring up kids too.
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