How do i take control of my feelings for someone

Im a an 18 year old guy and iv honeslty never liked someone before. Now that I do finally like someone the problem im having is every small interaction with them sends me down a spiral of emotions like lust anger jealousy etc. I also get the urge to say embarrasing things which I know I will regret. Its becoming really un healthy and making day to day activities difficult

How do i get over this and like this person in a healthy way, or even stop liking them altogethore?

Reply 1

-CarpeDiem-

Is no longer being around them an option?

It's pretty normal to feel some emotions and jealousy when you like someone.

Reply 2

Mvpmb

Original post by -CarpeDiem-

Is no longer being around them an option?

It's pretty normal to feel some emotions and jealousy when you like someone.

No, unforutantely they are in ALL of my clasess and my school is extremely small(class sizes of 5), so i have to go through close contact on a day to day basis.

I dont want to describe some of the things ive done but I can promise you they have not been normal!

Reply 3

-CarpeDiem-

Have you tried admitting your feelings to this person then?

Reply 4

Mvpmb

Original post by -CarpeDiem-

Have you tried admitting your feelings to this person then?

Yeah, it was a very twisted exchange

Basically I had been very very rude to the person in order to hide my feelings for quite a long time

So when I did confess I believe she probably saw it as a chance to get back at me and was quite rude and egotisical about it. She immediaitly resorted to trying to make me jelaous and play around with me

I did not tolerate this and became quite horrible towards her. (all in one conversation)

We have not spoken about it since

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 5

Mvpmb

I guess my dilemma is im not sure whether I should just start being nice to her and make an effort to make her like me

or whether based on how she reacted the first time I should not trust her with any kind of emotional power over me

Reply 6

-CarpeDiem-

Original post by Mvpmb

Yeah, it was a very twisted exchange

Basically I had been very very rude to the person in order to hide my feelings for quite a long time

So when I did confess I believe she probably saw it as a chance to get back at me and was quite rude and egotisical about it

Eventually she did try having a serious conversation with me about it but by that time i was already hurt and decided to avoid her

You've kind of dug yourself a hole there then sorry....how about a hobby instead???

Really though, your feelings might not last that long. If you try and focus on other people, perhaps friends instead that might help you. You can always try talking to them again in a more serious situation, invite out for a bite to eat or drink maybe? It's just finding that balance in not being too forward at that point, of course, unless you're just set on trying to get rid of your feelings.

Reply 7

hsm998

Original post by Mvpmb

I'm in exactly the same boat as you right now. I've started to catch feelings for one of the guys I've been friends with for a while; and its confusion and mixed signals are beginning to distract me from my studies. What I would suggest is just putting it into your head that if anything is going to come of it, it will come in time and in its own way. Don't force things or go out of your way to have a conversation or catch them in the corridor etc, I know its rly hard but REMEMBER ITS UR LIFE!!

good luck!!

Reply 8

Mvpmb

Original post by -CarpeDiem-

Like I said tho, my problem really is that im divided

Do i try to fix this and make an effort to go out with her for better or for worse? For example, she does all my subjects(and is doing very badly) and i am doing very well. Before this interaction she was always keen on getting my help which i never offered. So thats one way I could fix things and maybe who knows eventually get whati want

On the other hand

I could accept that i dug myself into a whole and that i have made this person dislike me and just take it as a lesson for the future.

Reply 9

-CarpeDiem-

Well, do you think you will end up regretting it if you don't at least try? Even if it doesn't turn into something romantic though, could you cope with just being friends with her if it turns out to be that way? It sounds like it would be hard for you but I think it's better for you to leave a positive outlook on yourself rather than negative. Apologising for some of your previous behaviour towards herwould be a good start. It takes something to admit to your faults.

Reply 10

Mvpmb

Original post by -CarpeDiem-

The problem is that she is no angel herself. She seemed to enjoy hurting me and im afraid if i give her the chance again she will just be a complete bitch like before.

But I dont want to be left with any regrets

I dont know