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Talking to my teacher about problems I am having?

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Original post by Des_Lumières
I'm sorry to hear that you have been self-harming. Please do talk to him, if you feel that you can trust that's great, go ahead and approach him. You can do it!


Really you think I can be strong enough to talk to him


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Original post by Mr M
He will certainly pass it on but that is a good thing as it means you will get the support you need.


I am really scared


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Original post by Saffron123456
Really you think I can be strong enough to talk to him


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Yes, I believe in you! You've already shown a lot of good intuition just by identifying him as someone you can talk to and now you're weighing it up and getting your courage together to go and talk. I think you can do it and I think you will surprise yourself :wink:
Original post by Des_Lumières
Yes, I believe in you! You've already shown a lot of good intuition just by identifying him as someone you can talk to and now you're weighing it up and getting your courage together to go and talk. I think you can do it and I think you will surprise yourself :wink:


I really don't know. I have no clue how to approach him. Once I was crying in the school car park and my mate went and got him for me. Should I get her to do that again or do I need to approach him myself


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Original post by Saffron123456
I really don't know. I have no clue how to approach him. Once I was crying in the school car park and my mate went and got him for me. Should I get her to do that again or do I need to approach him myself


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Why don't you go with your mate and then if and when you're feeling a bit more relaxed s/he can leave you to the conversation. Do you think that would be easier than going alone? If it so I highly recommend that you go with you friend :smile:
Reply 45
Original post by Saffron123456
There is this teacher at my school and I have spoken to him before. He has spoke to me before and was asking what was up but I haven't had the courage to actually say it. I've now thought about it and think it is time I tell him absolutely everything. I, scared to but I trust him loads. I have self harmed because I don't know what to d anymore. Do you think I should speak to him because I don't know?


I would not make myself more vulnerable by taking to a teacher. I would go to the student pastoral worker. I think all schools have someone like this who is used to listening to students and have more information which could help you than a teacher would have by just listening to you.

If you find yourself talking to the teacher then (as someone else said earlier) have a mate with you who you trust and will support you but also protect you.
Reply 46
Original post by Saffron123456
I am really scared


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Try not to be scared. Please just go to the support worker/pastoral person whoever it is at school tomorrow and get some support.

Let us know how it goes, there are lots who care for you.
Original post by Racoon
Try not to be scared. Please just go to the support worker/pastoral person whoever it is at school tomorrow and get some support.

Let us know how it goes, there are lots who care for you.


The thing is I can't trust the support worker. This teacher is nice to me and cares so would rather talk to him


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Original post by Des_Lumières
Why don't you go with your mate and then if and when you're feeling a bit more relaxed s/he can leave you to the conversation. Do you think that would be easier than going alone? If it so I highly recommend that you go with you friend :smile:


I think I could maybe just get her to get him for me. Is that a good idea


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Original post by Racoon
I would not make myself more vulnerable by taking to a teacher. I would go to the student pastoral worker. I think all schools have someone like this who is used to listening to students and have more information which could help you than a teacher would have by just listening to you.

If you find yourself talking to the teacher then (as someone else said earlier) have a mate with you who you trust and will support you but also protect you.


I'm afraid I would have disagree: I think it's best to go and talk to the person you feel most comfortable talking with. A teacher is often a caring and intelligent adult (who works with young people professionally). If it helps to start the conversation with a teacher that's fine - I'm sure they will help with when it comes to finding other support and figuring out how to move your situation forward.

Just to reiterate: talking to a teacher won't make you vulnerable! At certain times 'just listening' is the most helpful thing and that's fine. If your instinct tells you the teacher is a decent person then you're not going to need 'protecting' from them! Just to be clear!
Reply 50
Original post by Saffron123456
The thing is I can't trust the support worker. This teacher is nice to me and cares so would rather talk to him


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If you don't mind me asking, why do you think you can't trust the support worker?
Original post by Saffron123456
I think I could maybe just get her to get him for me. Is that a good idea


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It's not a bad idea but if you can manage to go to him along with you friend then that would better. It would leave less place for ambiguity in terms of whether you actually want to talk to him. If your teacher arrives having been brought by your friend he will have to figure out whether you want to talk or whether you friend just wants to help - and that might not be totally clear (especially if you are feeling very nervous). It would probably be better if you can go to him together with you friend. Is there a department staff room you can both go and knock at during lunch time?
Original post by Racoon
If you don't mind me asking, why do you think you can't trust the support worker?


Can we not just assume that it's a matter of dynamics and preference (do you not ever just get a sense about someone, good or bad)? I don't think it's very relevant really.
Original post by Des_Lumières
I'm afraid I would have disagree: I think it's best to go and talk to the person you feel most comfortable talking with. A teacher is often a caring and intelligent adult (who works with young people professionally). If it helps to start the conversation with a teacher that's fine - I'm sure they will help with when it comes to finding other support and figuring out how to move your situation forward.

Just to reiterate: talking to a teacher won't make you vulnerable! At certain times 'just listening' is the most helpful thing and that's fine. If your instinct tells you the teacher is a decent person then you're not going to need 'protecting' from them! Just to be clear!


Thats what I thought. I'm comfortable around him and feel that he likes me and cares a lot. Like on Friday I had a all day science ISA thing it was with him all day and he asked if I was okay several times and I said No he was like worrying isn't going to get you anywhere. This has made me think I should just go and talk to him about it


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Original post by Racoon
If you don't mind me asking, why do you think you can't trust the support worker?


I just can't. She has been not much help in the past. My teacher listens and cares more


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Original post by Saffron123456
Thats what I thought. I'm comfortable around him and feel that he likes me and cares a lot. Like on Friday I had a all day science ISA thing it was with him all day and he asked if I was okay several times and I said No he was like worrying isn't going to get you anywhere. This has made me think I should just go and talk to him about it


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Yep, sounds like a person to talk to. Is there a time tomorrow when you can and talk to him?
Original post by Des_Lumières
Yep, sounds like a person to talk to. Is there a time tomorrow when you can and talk to him?


Yes but I'm really scared about approaching him


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Original post by Saffron123456
Yes but I'm really scared about approaching him


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I understand that it's scary. There's no need to force yourself. But, I think that if you did (with your mate) that would be good. If you went tomorrow, when in the day do you think you'd go? (Having a plan can be helpful when doing things that are scary.)
Original post by Des_Lumières
I understand that it's scary. There's no need to force yourself. But, I think that if you did (with your mate) that would be good. If you went tomorrow, when in the day do you think you'd go? (Having a plan can be helpful when doing things that are scary.)


At break or lunch time


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Original post by Des_Lumières
I understand that it's scary. There's no need to force yourself. But, I think that if you did (with your mate) that would be good. If you went tomorrow, when in the day do you think you'd go? (Having a plan can be helpful when doing things that are scary.)


But I think I will go on my own


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