Boyfriend + Strict Parents

tl;dr


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Hey Guys,

So I've been having issues.

I have been diagnosed with depression and this is my last year before I head off to uni in September (I've got my offers already). This is not an ideal situation to be in. My parents aren't thinking of it as a big deal and have decided to be really strict on me. There are multiple reasons for my depression one of them being my parent's oppression towards me.

I understand they have high expectations of me and me getting into uni is important but they just put too much pressure on me - I can't even handle it. Recently, on a uni chat, I met this guy. This isn't just any guy. He means the world to me. Like whenever I am with him I am happy. He gave me a reason to be alive and not give up. I stopped self-harming and having suicidal thoughts because of him, therefore I love him so much that I can't imagine life without him.

Bad news is that he lives 2 hours away from me by train (we both can't drive) and we barely see each other. We started speaking on December 18th of last year and have seen each other 4 times since then, but when we see each other we spend hours and hours together. My parents being strict didn't know about the 3 times I had met him before he asked me out.

On valentine's because of the distance, he sent a bouquet of flowers, chocolates and a card to my front door and my parents found out. They were angry at first but they're not anymore, I don't think. Just now they think that being with him is all I think about and that I will go down the wrong route if I keep dating him. By this, I mean they hold the idea that I will stray away from education because they did that when they were younger. They only completed A -levels and never went to Uni, so they do not understand how hard it is to get there and they are expecting me to get A*AAA but realistically I think I'll get AABB which is enough to get into the uni I want to get in to.

Now because they don't understand, I have huge anxiety problems, i am getting counselling from school for this. They said I'm not allowed out anymore until exams are over. That's 4 months of being locked up in my house, studying 24/7.I thought it was going to be easy but I miss my boyfriend more than ever and I'm so afraid of losing him. I told him (I last saw him on the 28th of Feb.) we were both breaking up in tears when we said goodbye after spending 7 hours together <3 I miss him loads, like when we skype and text every day, it makes me feel loved. I need him and I need to see him as he gave me the motivation to do work again and I've been getting the grades I need so that makes me so happy... but my parents don't understand that I need him or that he's actually a good guy.

My past relationships weren't that great and they were always secretive. I'm 19years old and I'll be 20 by the end of this year. I therefore feel as though I should be allowed to make my own decisions. They don't seem to understand that I can be with someone and still do well. That I need a balance between my social life and my work life.

I'm going crazy and I feel even more depressed now than I was before. I do not know what to do and I feel so alone xxxxx

They said I'm not allowed out anymore until exams are over...

I'm 19 and 20 by the end of the year.

Are you moving out for Uni?