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Advice on speaking to my crush for the first time

After chickening out next to my crush, ive now become more determined to talk to her when i see her again.
Im really nervous about things though. If things go well ill ask to see her again sometime. Should i ask her on a date (if things go really well the first time) or just to meet up in college again?

Should i throw any of these in there or not.
Also, this will be the first time that we will have spoken to each other so im not sure how long to chat with her for. Should it be really short or can i make it a little longer and invite her to lunch with me (ill see hr a lunch time at college). She also appears to be rather shy and quiet like me. She also hangs around on her own when i see her.
Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
This is my first experience with talking to a girl a like in my life
Im 18.
Thanks
(edited 8 years ago)

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Wow. No.

Just go over and make ordinary conversation. If you're physically trying to follow a plan, then it's gonna come across as forced and probably put her off. Say hi, how's your day... a natural conversation is best.

Ignore that website, trust me. Just go say hi, and if it feels like it's going well during the conversation, ask her if she wants to get lunch with you :cute:

Take it sloowwww man :yep:
don't do number 2, don't try too hard
number 10: don't just agree with everything she says
number 14 is kinda wierd

number 11 and 17 are good ones, number 5 would just happen naturally surely and that's also a good one,
personally number 3 would be a good one but some girls find it creepy

some of these are bit unnecessary for a first convo as you probably have already picked up for example number 18 and 9
most of these suggestions by "lovepanky" are shitty, just go with the flow
I spoke to my crush through casual conversation. No one knows who it is. :h: Maybe 1, or 2... :s-smilie: :kissing2:
Original post by Asuna Yuuki
Wow. No.

Just go over and make ordinary conversation. If you're physically trying to follow a plan, then it's gonna come across as forced and probably put her off. Say hi, how's your day... a natural conversation is best.

Ignore that website, trust me. Just go say hi, and if it feels like it's going well during the conversation, ask her if she wants to get lunch with you :cute:

Take it sloowwww man :yep:


I didnt think it was any good.
Yeah, ill do that (i was gonna do that anyway). Im really not good at maintaining conversations with anyone so its gonna be tricky for me but ill give it a go.
I will ignore it, although i thought asking her to get lunch with me was a little extreme to start with but i dont anything about this so ill take your advice.
Thanks.
Yeah im thinking way too much into this i think and am probably wanting too much too soon.
Ill take it slow and make sure that i dont turn her away.
Original post by FireFreezer77
I didnt think it was any good.
Yeah, ill do that (i was gonna do that anyway). Im really not good at maintaining conversations with anyone so its gonna be tricky for me but ill give it a go.
I will ignore it, although i thought asking her to get lunch with me was a little extreme to start with but i dont anything about this so ill take your advice.
Thanks.
Yeah im thinking way too much into this i think and am probably wanting too much too soon.
Ill take it slow and make sure that i dont turn her away.


Yeah... step one is just to get to know the person, as you would with anyone really - being too forward often only ends with failure unfortunately :closedeyes:

(not from my own experiences, but summarising what I've heard from friends of both sexes)
Original post by alkaline.
don't do number 2, don't try too hard
number 10: don't just agree with everything she says
number 14 is kinda wierd

number 11 and 17 are good ones, number 5 would just happen naturally surely and that's also a good one,
personally number 3 would be a good one but some girls find it creepy

some of these are bit unnecessary for a first convo as you probably have already picked up for example number 18 and 9
most of these suggestions by "lovepanky" are shitty, just go with the flow


Ive realized that some of them are rather extreme.
Should i ask for her number or maybe just add her on FB or something like that. I feel as though asking for her number so quickly will no go down too well.
I skip 3, thats not me really. I respect her and therefore am not gonna do anything that will creep her out.

Yeah they are unnecessary and ill defo avoid them.
Yeah i need to just relax and go with the flow as you say.
Should i ask her to lunch on the first time if things go well or should i keep it short.
Apologies for all the questions. Its my first time and im really nervous about it but regretting not speaking to her before.
Original post by Asuna Yuuki
Yeah... step one is just to get to know the person, as you would with anyone really - being too forward often only ends with failure unfortunately :closedeyes:

(not from my own experiences, but summarising what I've heard from friends of both sexes)


Yeah thats true. I was going to keep things casual with her. Ill talk to her about her interests, ask about what shes studying at college, obviously ill ask what her name is when i introduce myself (yeah i dont know anything about her other than the fact that shes beautiful and she has a really nice dress sense).
Original post by FireFreezer77
Yeah thats true. I was going to keep things casual with her. Ill talk to her about her interests, ask about what shes studying at college, obviously ill ask what her name is when i introduce myself (yeah i dont know anything about her other than the fact that shes beautiful and she has a really nice dress sense).


Yeah, sounds good :cute: good luck!
Original post by SubZero~
I spoke to my crush through casual conversation. No one knows who it is. :h: Maybe 1, or 2... :s-smilie: :kissing2:


I will do that. I was gonna speak to her last Friday but i chickened out when i got near her. Ive been regretting it since then and am now more determined to go for it.
I dont want people to find out because theyll make fun of me as shes not one of the really popular girls. I dont care what they think i just dont want her to hear them say that.
I like her and thats all that matters. I just need to grow a pair and speak to her now.
Original post by FireFreezer77
I will do that. I was gonna speak to her last Friday but i chickened out when i got near her. Ive been regretting it since then and am now more determined to go for it.
I dont want people to find out because theyll make fun of me as shes not one of the really popular girls. I dont care what they think i just dont want her to hear them say that.
I like her and thats all that matters. I just need to grow a pair and speak to her now.


You summed it up yourself. Then again, I don't think my crush knows who I am. :h: Good luck!
Original post by Asuna Yuuki
Yeah, sounds good :cute: good luck!


Thanks.
Also, if things go well should i ask for her number? I want to keep in touch with her afterwards.
Also what are your thoughts on arranging to go on a date with her. When should i do that (if things go well). I was thinking meeting her at college a few times first and then asking her on a date somewhere. Not sure if thats anygood but i dont want to blow it by going too quickly.
Original post by SubZero~
You summed it up yourself. Then again, I don't think my crush knows who I am. :h: Good luck!


Yeah. I dont see why other people have to get involved.
Mine doesnt knkw who i am either yet. She knows i exist but thats it (i made a little eye contact with her).
Original post by FireFreezer77
Thanks.
Also, if things go well should i ask for her number? I want to keep in touch with her afterwards.
Also what are your thoughts on arranging to go on a date with her. When should i do that (if things go well). I was thinking meeting her at college a few times first and then asking her on a date somewhere. Not sure if thats anygood but i dont want to blow it by going too quickly.


Yeah, I'd ask for her number :yep:
I'd say see her a few times at college first, like you said, and then ask her to go out somewhere if you still like her once you know her better :cute:
Original post by Asuna Yuuki
Yeah, I'd ask for her number :yep:
I'd say see her a few times at college first, like you said, and then ask her to go out somewhere if you still like her once you know her better :cute:


Ok will do.
Yeah i thought that would be the best idea.
Theres no point going on a date with someone you dont like so thats a wise idea.
Thanks for your help. :smile:
Original post by Asuna Yuuki
Yeah, I'd ask for her number :yep:
I'd say see her a few times at college first, like you said, and then ask her to go out somewhere if you still like her once you know her better :cute:


Hey, i spoke to her today and it went really well. I.didnt ask for her number but i do have her on FB now (were gonna chat on there. She agreed to that). I asked her if we.could get to know each other (like i said i would). She said yes. She also seemed to really appreciate it when i said she was a really nice girl and really friendly too. She went aww thanks and blushed.
We then talked about our interests and things like that.
Thanks for thr advice btw. It really helped me.
Original post by FireFreezer77
After chickening out next to my crush, ive now become more determined to talk to her when i see her again.
Im really nervous about things though. If things go well ill ask to see her again sometime. Should i ask her on a date (if things go really well the first time) or just to meet up in college again?

Should i throw any of these in there or not.
Also, this will be the first time that we will have spoken to each other so im not sure how long to chat with her for. Should it be really short or can i make it a little longer and invite her to lunch with me (ill see hr a lunch time at college). She also appears to be rather shy and quiet like me. She also hangs around on her own when i see her.
Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
This is my first experience with talking to a girl a like in my life
Im 18.
Thanks

Just a word of advice. Don't tell every single one of your friends that you have limerent emotions for someone. Trust me. I leaked my crush to two of my friends, then the next day I told it to five others, and so on and so forth until 'she' found out, and confronted me this Tuesday.
Original post by PerplexedTeen
Just a word of advice. Don't tell every single one of your friends that you have limerent emotions for someone. Trust me. I leaked my crush to two of my friends, then the next day I told it to five others, and so on and so forth until 'she' found out, and confronted me this Tuesday.


Im not gonna tell anyone about it. I really want it to be between me and her. The only problem is that they might see me with her. I spoke to her yesterday for the first time and we walked into town together. They may end up driving past us and will then question me about it.
Shes really nice but she seems a bit shy. But it was the first time we spoke so thats understandable.
Thanks for the advice.
Also i dont have any friends. I dont get on with the people on my college course. So it would be hell if they found out.
Original post by FireFreezer77
Im not gonna tell anyone about it. I really want it to be between me and her. The only problem is that they might see me with her. I spoke to her yesterday for the first time and we walked into town together. They may end up driving past us and will then question me about it.
Shes really nice but she seems a bit shy. But it was the first time we spoke so thats understandable.
Thanks for the advice.
Also i dont have any friends. I dont get on with the people on my college course. So it would be hell if they found out.


Yo I spoke to my crush for the first time on Monday at uni, and on Tuesday she smiled at me :smile:

I've got around a month until Uni finishes though, but me and my crush are from the same part of london; we live around 30mins from each other.

My friend who has experience was telling me once you get her number you're sorted cos you can message her even if you don't see her.

So good luck to the both of us!
Original post by Anonymous
Yo I spoke to my crush for the first time on Monday at uni, and on Tuesday she smiled at me :smile:

I've got around a month until Uni finishes though, but me and my crush are from the same part of london; we live around 30mins from each other.

My friend who has experience was telling me once you get her number you're sorted cos you can message her even if you don't see her.

So good luck to the both of us!


Nice one!!
Its good that she smiled at you. I havent seen mine since (it was only yesterday).

I live around 30 mins from mine too. So its not too bad.

Yeah i can imagine that. I was gonna add her on FB but her privacy settings wont allow that. Ill tell her when i see her again.
Your friend is not wrong there. You can mesage her when you dont see her. You can also arrange to meet her outside of uni.

Good luck!

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