First time FWB. Handling This The Correct Way?

Aec2016

So I guess I’m in a friends with benefits situation? Or what ever it is that you want to call it. We haven’t established if this a friends with benefits or not, which is fine because I don’t want a relationship. I’m just confused because I feel like I’m being rude here lol. He set up a nice romantic date, cuddled and kissed after the first time we had sex, drove me home and we pecked as I got out of the car- just a gentleman about things.I never reach out to him (don’t want to blur any lines). He took a week to say something to me, but I did not respond to his message. He sent me another text a week after ( he sent me kissy faces) and I’m contemplating on if I should respond back or not lol.Since this is my first friends with benefits, how should communication go? I feel bad about ignoring his texts but I just want to make sure no lines are blurred. When I’m ready to do the do I’ll say something other than that I just don’t see the point in talking I guess. My girlfriends said to keep contact extremely limited as to not come off interested, but doing this just also seems rude lol.

Reply 1

TorpidPhil

- goes on a date with a guy

- doesn't want a relationship.

Stop wasting his time...

Tell him you'll gladly suck his dick but you don't actually want to commit to a proper relationship with him.

Reply 2

Aec2016

Original post by TorpidPhil

- goes on a date with a guy

- doesn't want a relationship.

Stop wasting his time...

Tell him you'll gladly suck his dick but you don't actually want to commit to a proper relationship with him.

How am I wasting his time? I'm pretty sure he just wants sex as well.

Reply 3

whorace

Original post by TorpidPhil

- goes on a date with a guy

- doesn't want a relationship.

Stop wasting his time...

Tell him you'll gladly suck his dick but you don't actually want to commit to a proper relationship with him.

'I'll gladly suck ye dick but no commitment' - Send a text with those exact words and you should hook him easily.

Reply 4

TorpidPhil

Original post by whorace

'I'll gladly suck ye dick but no commitment' - Send a text with those exact words and you should hook him easily.

Why did you quote me :P

Original post by Aec2016

How am I wasting his time? I'm pretty sure he just wants sex as well.

The above quote is apt though.

Like, why are you fretting so much then if you think he just wants sex too?

Literally just tell him what you want. He will be keen. BOOM. You agree. ****'s official now you can get on with your day and stop worrying about nothing.

Reply 5

MountKimbie

Original post by TorpidPhil

Why did you quote me :P

The above quote is apt though.

Like, why are you fretting so much then if you think he just wants sex too?

Literally just tell him what you want. He will be keen. BOOM. You agree. ****'s official now you can get on with your day and stop worrying about nothing.

Whilst I agree with you,

why would you assume he doesn't want a relationship? He might do?

Reply 6

TorpidPhil

Original post by MountKimbie

Whilst I agree with you,

why would you assume he doesn't want a relationship? He might do?

He might and that's why my official response after him setting up a cute date and her going along with and not wanting a relationship was for her to stop wasting his time.

However she knows him better than me and she thinks he wouldn't mind just doing a fwb thing anyway. So...

Reply 7

Aec2016

Original post by MountKimbie

Whilst I agree with you,

why would you assume he doesn't want a relationship? He might do?

Well because the length of time he took to say something after we had sex (week). My girlfriends said because I gave off a vibe that I wasn't interested him in that way (won't go into details) that's why he took so long. They also said if he just was in it for sex after getting ignored the first time he wouldn't have sent another text only a week later because sex isn't that big of a deal, he would've waited. They also said especially since he sent the kissy faces after being ignored it doesn't seem like just sex for him.

Ehhh I'm not buying what they're saying haha so I'm sticking with he's in it for sex as well.

Reply 8

MountKimbie

Original post by Aec2016

In depth analysis based on texting habits.

:rolleyes:

Best way to communicate is honest, open and make sure you both have a mutual understanding of the circumstances.

Reply 9

whorace

Coming from another thread where I was discussing comedians, an Irish comedian remarked that a woman can tell when their friends got divorced and fired from their job by the way they haven't drunk all of their tea. It's not quite that easy to read people like that, just be upfront.

Reply 10

Aec2016

Original post by whorace

Hahaha that's funny. May be this is me just being stubborn her, but if we both want sex then why have a conversation? why rock the boat I guess? lol

Reply 11

Aec2016

Original post by MountKimbie

In depth analysis based on texting habits.

:rolleyes:

Best way to communicate is honest, open and make sure you both have a mutual understanding of the circumstances.

Haha I know right? Does it seem like he is interested in more than just sex? I guess I would feel pretty crappy if he is and I've been ignoring him :/