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Struggling with Keeping Friends at Uni?

Hey there,
I was hoping someone here could help me out a bit. I'm in my 2nd semester of 1st year studying... and well, the course has gone great but i've been in a really rough place recently and unfortunately, whatever friendships i made last semester have been ruined by my erratic mood (i.e. panic attacks, disappearing for days) as i try and stay sane.
I've not gotten close to the society at all due to a previous falling-out with one of the members. I've gotten really lonely and I'm thinking of dropping out.
Can anyone give me some advice?

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 1

LeyK

Original post by Thegrudge

Hey there,
I was hoping someone here could help me out a bit. I'm in my 2nd semester of 1st year studying music... and well, the course has gone great but i've been in a really rough place recently and unfortunately, whatever friendships i made last semester have been ruined by my erratic mood (i.e. panic attacks, disappearing for days) as i try and stay sane.
I've not gotten close to the music society at all due to a previous falling-out with one of the members. I've gotten really lonely and I'm thinking of dropping out.
Can anyone give me some advice?

tbh I don't know how other people view friendships... but for me at least...
There should be someone/s who considers a close buddy, even if you feel you did something (unless ofc it was colossal :s-smilie:

)

Like I've been recently saying... "If you allow things to remain what it is... It will stay what it is... It's up to you to change/define it" <---(This is my look at awkward situations :biggrin:

)

Like honestly... there are many ways to view this and I have a feeling you are assuming peeps are not willing to resolve things... Just try to talk.
Or find new people around you to befriend/acquaintance with :wink:

Otherwise... Do the dropping out thing as Plan Z :biggrin:

. (I have a feeling what I said didn't make sense :getmecoat:

)

Reply 2

Kam Brar

Original post by Thegrudge

Don't give up so soon! I have been in the same boat as you and Im also in my second semester. I am only really close to 1 girl in my class and she's always there to listen. But I also have the student support and the chaplaincy at my uni that I can go to and they are always willing to help. Talk to your friends try and explain what you want to say and I'm sure they would understand! Don't give up especially if you are loving the course!

Reply 3

LDJS1976

It wouldn't hurt to use the university's free counselling services to discuss your issues about panic attacks and social issues. Seems like a big deal, taking that leap to share your concerns with someone, but it can help to put things in perspective and look at things in a new light, come up with new coping strategies etc.

Reply 4

SlowlorisIncognito

Original post by Thegrudge

It sounds like you're having some issues with anxiety? Are these new, or a pre-existing condition? Are you seeking medical help for these issues?

If being at uni is affecting your mental health, you don't have to stick it out. You might be able to take a leave of absence and restart your course in September, if this would work for you. If you haven't already, then talk to your personal tutor about the options open to you- they are there to help.

If you feel like you're recovering, and you're just worried about friendship issues, then why not try reaching out to people who you previously considered friends. Just a quick facebook message to say "I'm sorry if I've been a bit flaky recently, I've had some health issues. I'd love to hang out again sometime, are you up to anything this weekend" opens the door for people to reconnect, and chances are they will want to.

Is the falling out with the society solvable? If it's something you want to carry on with, could you suck it up and apologize, even if you weren't in the wrong. Unless you did something really awful, being the bigger person and saying sorry can do a lot to get people on your side.