Mother keeps talking about dying??

She's been having breathing problems (I think its anxiety) and she's been to the hospital twice, once the doctors said nothing was wrong and second they checked her blood etc and gave her an appointment to the chest hospital. She keeps obsessively cleaning the house saying she's getting ready for when she goes into hospital or when she dies. She keeps coming into my room telling me she can feel that she is going to die soon and telling me things she wants me to do when she dies. Every time we disagree or have an argument she says "you are gonna regret this when I die and you are gonna have tears rolling down your eyes asking why". She keeps telling me stories of people who had a feeling they were going to die and then they did. Like what on earth am I supposed to make of this?? I dont think she's gonna die and I think its just anxiety (which she is rejecting on all basis's) . Its kinda getting annoying now although if she does die I'm gonna be like the worst child ever :lol:

Reply 1

shawtyb

no offense but i think ur mum needs help :/

Reply 2

If u dont mind

I'm guessing she's asian??😄

Reply 3

Axlerod

Original post by curiousduck

She probably just wants you to be prepared. Death can happen at any time and can be very unexpected.

Reply 4

znh

Original post by curiousduck

Most likely the breathing thing has just worried her. And even if it does sound strange or silly to us, it might feel like something very real to her. Quite a lot of people who suffer from anxiety and have panic attacks etc can feel like they are dying (e.g. it might feel like a heart attack). And quite often there is a sense that something is 'off', or a feeling that something bad is going to happen.

Maybe suggest that she says her GP? Theraphy (I think CBT) might help her.

Either way, try not to brush is off, and it might be good to make note of what she has said so you do know her wishes for the future. I know it's morbid, but you never know what could happen.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 5

curiousduck

Original post by znh

She really thinks its nothing to do with anxiety and I think she goes counselling and has been prescribed anti-depressants (which she never takes) so like idk how to help her...

but thanks for the information about the anxiety and panic attacks :h:

Reply 6

flutterby-x303

I suffer from anxiety and my first symptom was constant breathing difficulties. I also suffer from asthma but my inhalers weren't doing anything. Every doctor I saw told me it was anxiety and after about a year I finally accepted this was what it was and once I accepted that it wasn't dangerous and all I needed to do was relax and focus on other things, it went.

She is not going to die the doctors would have picked up on something by now. I think she is causing you unnecessary worry and it's a tad selfish of her. People saying "death can happen at any time and be prepared etc" ok this may be true but there is no need to clean the house (is she a neat freak?) or remind you of the fact that death will happen to her? Yes it will happen but not for many many years.

She should be on the antidepressants or at least Xanax or something because it must be awful for you seeing her like this when it is totally something she can control with a bit of brain training.

Reply 7

znh

Original post by curiousduck

If she's already getting counselling etc, I don't think you could do much to help her, other than to reassure her that she's ok, and to encourage her to speak about it with her counsellor. Perhaps try to take her mind of it - maybe do some of the cleaning so she's not always thinking about it and doing something that relates to her dying, or do some activities together etc. Either way, I'm sorry you're going through it. I hope things work out for you :hugs: