What does it mean to be asexual?

I'm having a hard time understanding how it feels to be asexual. Does it involve repressing feelings or naturally lacking any?

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Reply 1

Mayhem™

it means you can't get any

Reply 2

Lil08

Friend-zones is asexual.

Reply 3

Jebedee

"Asexual reproduction is a type of reproduction by which offspring arise from a single organism, and inherit the genes of that parent only; it does not involve the fusion of gametes and almost never changes the number of chromosomes. Asexual reproduction is the primary form of reproduction for single-celled organismssuch as the archaebacteria, eubacteria, and protists. Many plants and fungi reproduce asexually as well."

Reply 4

BristolFresher15

None of you are any help at all.

Reply 5

User1333171

It's usually a natural absence of sexual attraction, but the term asexual can cover a wide variety of identities so people might experience their lack of attraction all different ways. It's possible that some people might have experienced trauma in their past which has led them to repress their sexuality and they might still identify as asexual because they no longer have a desire to be sexual with anyone else. It's just like people who identify as heterosexual all experience their sexuality differently - everyone's past shapes their sexuality, and some of that past will be 'natural' influences, whereas other parts of the identity might come from events that have led to repression or exaggeration.

Reply 6

Melancholy

It means you'll eat any type of Revel.

Reply 7

Bad Faith

Asexuals are not attracted to either sex. This may simply be how they are, or maybe it was caused by past traumatic events either way the result is the same.

Reply 8

Tinemither

Original post by BristolFresher15

I'm having a hard time understanding how it feels to be asexual. Does it involve repressing feelings or naturally lacking any?

Well, as an Asexual, I can tell you first hand that, unlike the claim:

Original post by Mayhem™

it means you can't get any

You can still 'get' it. But quite contrary to it, much like a homosexual man may be repulsed by sex with a woman, an asexual individual is repulsed by sex generally. So all in all, it's the distaste of sex. For me, genitals, the idea of intimacy and so forth (pretty much every aspect of sex itself) repulses me. If someone tries to make a move on me, I find myself in an uncomfortable position where I'm unable to reciprocate their lusts.

I am, however, heteroromantic. So I do enjoy things like a normal relationship, -sex, oral, hand based (?)and other kinds of intimacy. No intimacy for me!

Reply 9

BristolFresher15

Original post by Tinemither

I am, however, heteroromantic. So I do enjoy things like a normal relationship, -sex, oral, hand based (?)and other kinds of intimacy. No intimacy for me!

Interesting, so you'd still like to date and maybe even marry a girl? And just be in a relationship for the emotional intimacy and companionship rather than anything physical?

Reply 10

Asolare

I don't identify as asexual anymore, but I did from about age 16-18 (idk why the **** it changed, maybe just a... ''late bloomer'' yeah), but I always understood it as lacking sexual attraction.

Essentially could not look at anyone and feel sexually attracted to them, only romantically or aesthetically.

Reply 11

Tinemither

Original post by BristolFresher15

Interesting, so you'd still like to date and maybe even marry a girl? And just be in a relationship for the emotional intimacy and companionship rather than anything physical?

Essentially. That's pretty accurate. But of course, there are some serious limitations with that. Namely the fact that most people who would date a person like me are probably straight or bi, want sexual stimulation and I wouldn't feel comfortable providing that. Makes a relationship really difficult. But yeah, I would find love with a like minded girl - we don't have to have sex, or intimacy, but can simply benefit from the emotional stimulations. After all - if neither of us want to have sex, nobody is going to feel unfulfilled.

Reply 12

BristolFresher15

Original post by Tinemither

Ah okay. But can I ask why you are romantically inclined towards females rather than males? Because you wouldn't be in a physical relationship with them anyway.

Spoiler

Reply 13

BristolFresher15

Original post by Inexorably

So you now feel attraction to a certain sex. Was it spontaneous, or did it take a while to develop?

Edit: also, do you think you were truly asexual from 16-18, or was it a confused feeling you decided to assign this concept to as a naive teen?

Reply 14

Tinemither

Original post by BristolFresher15

Ah okay. But can I ask why you are romantically inclined towards females rather than males? Because you wouldn't be in a physical relationship with them anyway.

Spoiler

That's based on growing up. All of my friends tended to be girls, and very much so still are, where as the people who bullied me were boys. So I withdrew from nale friendship groups and never had close friendships with any friends.

Even more depressingly, my father beat me on a day-to-day basis, so I guess I've generalised most males to be aggressive or abusive in some way, and that in itself is a huge turn off. Similarly, I have no confidence in being around boys/men irl because of the past.

Reply 15

Asolare

Original post by BristolFresher15

i think it developed quite slowly, but it was very random. I have no idea what brought it about.

I think I did have confusion about my romantic attraction, but I was fairly adamant (and still am) that I genuinely lacked sexual attraction and would still say I was asexual. But there is always the possibility that I just developed that ''part'' of puberty at an incredibly late age...which would be weird but eh

Reply 16

seventeensummers

For a long time I thought I was bisexual because I was equally sexually attracted to guys and girls. Didn't realise until I had my first girlfriend that 'equally attracted to' meant 'not at all attracted to'. :tongue:

Reply 17

Eternalflames

@Airmed This person would like some more knowledge about asexuality :smile:

Reply 18

Tinemither

Original post by Eternalflames

@Airmed This person would like some more knowledge about asexuality :smile:

*Scoffs and splutters* Do they need the information, or are they providing? If the latter, I was here! :wink:

Reply 19

Airmed

Original post by Eternalflames

@Airmed This person would like some more knowledge about asexuality :smile:

Thanks for @ me. :h:

Original post by BristolFresher15

None of you are any help at all.

Hey,

I'm asexual (specifically demi sexual - it's on the asexual spectrum - means I'm comfortable with having a relationship; I have a boyfriend, he's 'asexual' too).

For me it's that I don't fancy people. I don't find people attractive. Number of people I have truly fancied in my life? Probably one. My boyfriend. But I liked his personality and cleverness first before I began to appreciate his good looks.

It's not really repressing feelings. It's just simply not having them. I can't turn myself on, to be quite blunt, sorry. I don't desire sex and could happily not have it.

It's ok to be asexual. I was in denial for a good six or so years about it (I even stupidly tried to trick myself into believing I was bisexual for about three months; didn't work).