Spying parents stopping me from seeing my boyfriend!

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I think spying secretly on your adolescent child and taking away their property is certainly potentially abusive, and that the OP could get support from Childline. One potential fear is that her parents may have a marriage already lined up for her.

i know my parents wont have a marriage already lined up for me but i agree with what you're saying. I may see if there is a social worker that i can speak to at school. My parents think that this is whats best for me but they have made me so upset that im being sick and have got a temperature, i physically cant keep any food down and theyve caused that.

Reply 41

Mahmoud X

Original post by Good bloke

"Folks who care" sometimes force their children into marriage or arrange FGM holidays abroad.

Exactly.

You get abusive husbands who create this disgusting narrative that their abuse is an expression of love. If they don't ever let their wife have friends, they pretend it is only because he is protective her. It's utterly vile.

Reply 42

Georgia2261

Original post by Mahmoud X

Her parents are legally obliged to take care of the child they have created, this is food, shelter etc.

She shouldn't have to leave the house for her basic dignity to be respected.

I'm pretty sure it would be illegal for me to live on my own at 15 anyway, regardless if i could afford it or not. Reading my messages and setting up cameras isnt right

Reply 43

whorace

Original post by RF_PineMarten

Their ages being 15 and 16 isn't enough to justify that sort of spying behaviour. Unless they have a good reason to be suspicious of him which OP hasn't mentioned (and I appreciate we may not have the full story here), then the parents appear to be the ones in the wrong.

Maybe they read a kinky text?

I think if I read a guy talking to my hypothetical daughter about how he was going to whip her bottom I might be concerned as well. It was really difficult to word this sentence, if I said I would also put a camera up it would have came off wrong.

Reply 44

mrsjenner

Original post by Good bloke

"Folks who care" sometimes force their children into marriage or arrange FGM holidays abroad.

There's no point in discussing this because OP hasn't specified that this is her issue
It's merely cameras we don't even know the extent, only what OP tells us
I'm not talking about a specific situation

I'm defending the general concept of having devoted parents. I really have no idea why you're playing devil's advocate here, with the notions of "arranged marriage" and nonsense. That's not even in the OP :rofl:

anyway, good day.

Reply 45

mrsjenner

Original post by Georgia2261

They have arranged you for marriage?

Lmao then this is a cultural traditional issue. Of course :colonhash:

So now I definitely support your folks and I see why others are bashing so hard. They have affiliated caring with abuse because they disagree with islam and have stereotyped you as a needy female :rofl:

Lmao goodbye thread.

Reply 46

thefatone

Original post by mrsjenner

How do you know he isn't abusive?...

You also do not know OP. They could be that troubled bad ass kid that needs extreme supervision because they constantly get into dangerous trouble.

I know tsr and the internet are full of radical liberals who express their ultra-tolerance behind the anonymity...

but would you rather her have a parent who let her boyfriend endanger her? :rolleyes:

no you don't. you don't know the internet and the whole of tsr

Original post by Georgia2261

I am actually someone that never goes out drinking, doing drugs, partying etc. I'm an A* student even with having lots of time off school as i have been really ill and constantly in hospital. I've never been in trouble at school let alone with the police or anything!!

^^ i would ask OP if her bf if abusive i'm also pretty sure OP said this aswell

"Me and my boyfriend are both happy in the relationship and disagree with what they are saying! I don't want to end the relationship as we both love each other and want to fight for this. "

i'm certain that this suggests that her bf isn't abusive

Reply 47

Good bloke

Original post by mrsjenner

It's merely cameras we don't even know the extent

Frankly, spying on adolescents with secret cameras is, on the face if it, abusive in itself. Do you do that?

Reply 48

mrsjenner

Original post by Good bloke

Frankly, spying on adolescents with secret cameras is, on the face if it, abusive in itself. Do you do that?

I've already expressed my beliefs on this. Revert to my previous posts, ta.

Reply 49

Georgia2261

Original post by mrsjenner

They have arranged you for marriage?

Lmao then this is a cultural traditional issue. Of course :colonhash:

Lmao goodbye thread.

The first line literally says "i know my parents WON'T have arranged a marriage for me" ?

Reply 50

Mahmoud X

Original post by Georgia2261

I'm pretty sure it would be illegal for me to live on my own at 15 anyway, regardless if i could afford it or not. Reading my messages and setting up cameras isnt right

It would be illegal, you can leave home at 18 or 16 with your parent's consent. I believe they are legally obliged to take care of until you are 18 or 21 if you're in full time education.

It's not right and I mentioned that because it's a classic thing to guilt trip, saying they've raised you, you live under their roof, eat their food. If you have children, you're supposed to take care of them, that's the minimum which you're legally obliged to do anyway.

Reply 51

Justmoll28

Original post by Georgia2261

being mentally abused by who? I know my boyfriend better than anyone and we have been together for a long time. He has has family issues so i know he would never be abusive to me! My parents have gone past the point of being overprotective... they've read months worth of messages and some things in the messages were said in confidence to my boyfriend! They've invaded my privacy...

just proves the point they were making, if youve been together a long time then you could have, dare i say it, been brainwashed so its okay to be abused?

Reply 52

mrsjenner

Original post by thefatone

no you don't. you don't know the internet and the whole of tsr

^^ i would ask OP if her bf if abusive i'm also pretty sure OP said this aswell

"Me and my boyfriend are both happy in the relationship and disagree with what they are saying! I don't want to end the relationship as we both love each other and want to fight for this. "

i'm certain that this suggests that her bf isn't abusive

I know more people on here than you think dear :wink:

And so let's go with what OP swears she is right

Ok that's fine and dandy. My thing is, not defending OP's parents per se
It's defending caring parents in general
You lot are trying to play devil's advocate against that idea, so pathological.

Reply 53

thefatone

Original post by mrsjenner

Lmao OP can't even afford her own living
and she's having a go about privacy

I'm really not fussed to discuss this.
@Georgia2261 all I have to say is this:

you're young, very young. Your parents aren't perfect. They're not doing anything to hurt you intentionally. Calm down a bit and realise that it's better to have folks who care then not. Do not ruin your life and relationship with your parents over a boy. You have lots of time for love, relax. :console:

fbyhwibfhaibgjoia well how do you know that your parents aren't abusive? you don't know OP do you? fgbrhwjibagrjhi

anyone can take a view like yours it not difficult to be a ****. Pls stop making me roll my face on the keyboard bc of your comments

i swear you're a troll....

Reply 54

Mahmoud X

Original post by Justmoll28

just proves the point they were making, if youve been together a long time then you could have, dare i say it, been brainwashed so its okay to be abused?

How does him having family issues imply he is abusive?

Reply 55

mrsjenner

Original post by Georgia2261

The first line literally says "i know my parents WON'T have arranged a marriage for me" ?

Lol you're kind of a lost cause here hunny. You are upset with being a teenage Muslim who has strict parents, typical boring thread.

Reply 56

Georgia2261

Original post by Justmoll28

just proves the point they were making, if youve been together a long time then you could have, dare i say it, been brainwashed so its okay to be abused?

His family issues are completely different, he doesn't even have a relationship with his dad because of whats happened.This is why i say i know he would never act the same.

Reply 57

mrsjenner

Original post by thefatone

You don't know OP either. You're getting frustrated because you don't have the capacity to explain yourself like an intelligent person
Clearly.

Original post by Mahmoud X

How does him having family issues imply he is abusive?

How do you know he's not abusive, seriously with you.

Reply 58

thefatone

Original post by mrsjenner

I know more people on here than you think dear :wink:

do you? unless you have another account i very much doubt that, or another alternative could be that you could have friends who you know irl who are also on here.

i agree and i do defend caring parents in general just like you
however in the situation that OP has stated it appears to most that the parents are not in the right