Girl isn't on birth control wants sex with me, she's a virgin. It's turning me off.

I don't get it. What's so special about you, exactly?

Yeah, I know, less than 0.02% chance of pregnancy per sex act. HOWEVER. That's with perfect use conditions and I've never had sex with a condom. What if we are changing positions, it slips slightly, pre-cum spills? What if it is too big and slips off? Too thin and it tears? Or what if its just a **** condom and it breaks for pretty much no reason because manufacturing fault.

Then she can just get the morning after pill geez! You're working yourself up over nothing mate.

BUT WILL SHE THOUGH???

She has never tried any birth control options and doesn't really seem very motivated to do so either...

I'm feeling pretty disgusted at the thought of sex with just a condom tbh. I don't really see it being particularly fantastic (although I appreciate that a lot of the bro-comments on the internet about condom sex are exaggerated, but my I find it really hard to orgasm as it is; if I wear any lube I can no longer orgasm, and if I don't lube it can take an hour of intense masturbation to make me cum [which makes my penis go browny/red and the skin on it to thicken like it is bruised and it goes sore...]),

Yet also too risky because a pregnancy would be hell and well, I've never had sex before so no doubt my risk of ****ing up when using a condom is a little higher than normal.

Thing is, we're both virgins so STDs aren't a worry and we're not just having casual sex - we've been dating for about 3months now.

So, just contemplating all of this. Combined with the fact that males only really have condoms as a form of contraception they can use (which is really damn sexist)... It just turns me off sex entirely.

Am I being ridiculous?

I'm 20. Obviously I want sex. But I'm also 20 and a virgin, obviously I can wait a bit longer. Perhaps until I can find someone who is on birth control. I spoke to her about this today and really all she said was she's never been on the pill, but she's aware of how it works etc, but when I said Id appreciate it if she were to try it out before we had sex (trying to put it politely because it ain't happening otherwise, at least that's how I feel right now) she just said she's not sure if she'll take a pill or not, or any other form of contraception.

Yeah, I know, less than 0.02% chance of pregnancy per sex act. HOWEVER. That's with perfect use conditions and I've never had sex with a condom. What if we are changing positions, it slips slightly, pre-cum spills? What if it is too big and slips off? Too thin and it tears? Or what if its just a **** condom and it breaks for pretty much no reason because manufacturing fault (that's the 0.02% chance I guess and I suppose that doesn't really bother me).

You don't trust her at all then. Or are very paranoid. You sound like a 12 year old, no offence. Maybe you're not ready for sex, idk.

Well not really no. Why should I? I've only known her approximately 3months. I've known friends for years who would go and steal from me. I don't believe she wants a child, but I feel like she is quite complacent about the whole sex thing tbh and so I don't think I could really trust her to take the morning after pill.

Well not really no. Why should I? I've only known her approximately 3months. I've known friends for years who would go and steal from me. I don't believe she wants a child, but I feel like she is quite complacent about the whole sex thing tbh and so I don't think I could really trust her to take the morning after pill.

Who knows, I don't have to deal with the contraception issue so I wouldn't know. You can always choose to join the dark side, too (homosexuality) lol Then you won't have to worry about getting anyone pregnant either.

That kind of thinking gets you AIDS.

Doesn't sound like a good relationship to me. What's the point of being with her then?

If you don't trust or at least respect her enough to think the best of her, you probably shouldn't have sex with her.

It takes time to built up trust right? More than a few months. The dilemma is that she's the one pushing for sex. Not me. She's been a good friend so far, as have I and I feel like it is going well. I worry about how she'll respond though if I tell her I want to wait.

However, I feel like that's my only option actually. Gonna send her a text explaining that. Clarify it in person at a later date.

Not ready yet. I mean, one probably shouldn't be having sex if the thought of having sex is a turn-off. That's not going to be fun for anyone.

If she can't accept that I'll move on. I'm sure someone will.

Mystifying.


Like calling off a business deal.

It takes time to built up trust right? More than a few months. The dilemma is that she's the one pushing for sex. Not me. She's been a good friend so far, as have I and I feel like it is going well. I worry about how she'll respond though if I tell her I want to wait.

However, I feel like that's my only option actually. Gonna send her a text explaining that. Clarify it in person at a later date.

Not ready yet. I mean, one probably shouldn't be having sex if the thought of having sex is a turn-off. That's not going to be fun for anyone.

If she can't accept that I'll move on. I'm sure someone will.

Noo don't say that over a text. Talk to her in person.
Do you have any issues with social skills? Sorry If I'm getting the wrong impression here but you sound like someone with aspergers.

Actually, I'm the opposite. I have high emotional intelligence. Last time I spoke about it person though she basically ignored me and tried to change the conversation eventually leaving me with a "I might try a form of birth control... But I'm not sure...". This way she can't ignore it and has to at least acknowledge it.

. If a woman is not willing to attempt any form of birth control I highly doubt she'd care for female condoms tbh.

Who says such a thing?