What would your brutally honest dating profile say?

you will certainly live.
What is your sign, I'm tryna figure you out...

ha keep guessing mr meany head
il give you a clue
first quarter of the year

i might even disclose it below

haha i laughed so hard!

i laughed way to much while reading this

Cavester oh my goodnaz and you never know, you're probably an undiscovered undercover super freak.

Nonsense.

You make people (like me) happy (all the time) with your bubbly, effervescent self.

Don't put yourself down MWE

If you're after romance, you've come to the wrong place! My idea of a good night in involves baby oil and fingering. I hope you have a good sense of humour and do well on a lack of sleep - both of these will be required when my protein farts keep you awake at night.

A bit more about me. I'm selfish - nay, I'm a bit of a narcissist and rather vain. I expect you to doll yourself up when we go out, but you'd better not take too long in the bathroom as I also take ages. I'm also incredibly impatient so you should do your best to be ready by the time I am and never be late for anything.

I require a girl that lifts and has a fantastic ass as a result - if this isn't you, please move along, I can't bend on this. I also need someone who can cook, clean and run a house - I'm not sexist, but I am lazy.

I'm a funny guy and love a laugh, but to the point that I might not take your problems seriously. Ido however expect you to be sympathetic when I'm going through hard times.

If you think I sound like fun, get in touch!

P.S. No children.

If you're after romance, you've come to the wrong place! My idea of a good night in involves baby oil and fingering. I hope you have a good sense of humour and do well on a lack of sleep - both of these will be required when my protein farts keep you awake at night.

A bit more about me. I'm selfish - nay, I'm a bit of a narcissist and rather vain. I expect you to doll yourself up when we go out, but you'd better not take too long in the bathroom as I also take ages. I'm also incredibly impatient so you should do your best to be ready by the time I am and never be late for anything.

I require a girl that lifts and has a fantastic ass as a result - if this isn't you, please move along, I can't bend on this. I also need someone who can cook, clean and run a house - I'm not sexist, but I am lazy.

I'm a funny guy and love a laugh, but to the point that I might not take your problems seriously. Ido however expect you to be sympathetic when I'm going through hard times.

If you think I sound like fun, get in touch!

P.S. No children.

I'll just go ahead and say you're a Capricorn
since you're annoying me greatly and being whiny
I was trying to be nice by changing the subject and you post something immature like this

do one then toots

P.S. No children.

i honestly want to see this on a dating site one day and ask about the responses you get lol



wrong
bet your fun at parties jeeez
aries btw

literally me reading this:

looool can u imagine loooool
well who knows what might happen





awwwh samurai <3 you are too cute but i didn't really mean like in general
people would probs want more than my effervescent self in bed lool omg can't believe what i'm writting

Ime its fun for everyone except when its time of the month and i get told off because they are sensitive then

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wow you really are an a hole
give up even trying to be nice to you

Cavy what is up with you today lol

Workaholic with unreasonably high standards seeks intelligent man for predominantly physical but somewhat emotional relationship