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Lying to parents about dating a guy?

I'm 23 and have come to realise that I'm gay (surprisingly as I did when I was much younger and even came out to friends but then repressed those feelings). My sexuality has always been a confusing topic for me.

In light of the above, I don't really want my parents to know about anything until I'm 100% sure. I live at home at the moment, I'm doing a postgraduate course in London and move out later this year. Therefore, if I'm going anywhere my parents know about it.

I can easily make excuses for travelling to London - is it alright to lie and say I'm going to see a friend for instance? I've indirectly lied to my parents before but this would be a blatant lie. As far as I see it, they have no right to know about my dating life until I'm ready. Thoughts?
Reply 1
To clarify, I have the option of dating a guy I met on Tinder.
Reply 2
bump :smile:
You're 23 you can tell them whatever you want.
Just tell them you're seeing someone, I don't see what the big deal is. Do you think they'll react badly and they're better off not knowing or have you yet to grow out of your teenage rebellion phase?
(edited 8 years ago)
Don't tell them it's fine: my parents won't let me have a boyfriend. To the point when at 17 I had one (literally going to the cinema once a week) they locked me in my room for 2 weeks they smashed my phone cut up my bank card and hid my car keys. I was told I either continued to live like that or broke up with the boyfriend. I'm 24 now I've had a boyfriend for 4 years who is 29 he's amazing he's got a good job his own house an amazing family. My parents don't know about him becyase quite frankly I'm not throwing away my happiness to appease my controlling parents. I've been saving up and once I tell them I have a boyfriend if they don't like it in leaving. I'm a girl by the way my parents are just so controlling. I feel awful I haven't told them but then recently when I tried my mum said it I ever got w boyfriend she would disown me. Whilst I'm stuck at home I can't deal with how my parents will act so I don't tell them. Do what makes you happy your parents can't control you.
Reply 6
Original post by WoodyMKC
Just tell them you're seeing someone, I don't see what the big deal is. Do you think they'll react badly and they're better off not knowing or have you yet to grow out of your teenage rebellion phase?


The reason I don't want to tell them is because I'm still not 100% sure of my sexuality. Imagine coming out to your parents, having them deal and accept it (though I know mine won't mind at all) and then to turn around a couple of weeks later and say you're not bisexual/gay.

Honestly, after seeing a few opinions I don't see what the big deal is either any more. FYI I never had a 'teenage rebellion phase' and I don't appreciate that comment, Woody...

I consider this thread answered.
Original post by Anonymous
The reason I don't want to tell them is because I'm still not 100% sure of my sexuality. Imagine coming out to your parents, having them deal and accept it (though I know mine won't mind at all) and then to turn around a couple of weeks later and say you're not bisexual/gay.

Honestly, after seeing a few opinions I don't see what the big deal is either any more. FYI I never had a 'teenage rebellion phase' and I don't appreciate that comment, Woody...

I consider this thread answered.


That came off a bit more harshly than I meant it to, sorry :redface: I also misread your OP a bit and was under the impression you'd already came out to your parents, in which case it might be wise not to tell them until you're sure. Maybe do tell them it's just a friend, seems more like bending the truth rather than an outright lie.
Reply 8
Original post by WoodyMKC
That came off a bit more harshly than I meant it to, sorry :redface: I also misread your OP a bit and was under the impression you'd already came out to your parents, in which case it might be wise not to tell them until you're sure. Maybe do tell them it's just a friend, seems more like bending the truth rather than an outright lie.



Ah it's all right I appreciate the apology :smile:
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
Don't tell them it's fine: my parents won't let me have a boyfriend. To the point when at 17 I had one (literally going to the cinema once a week) they locked me in my room for 2 weeks they smashed my phone cut up my bank card and hid my car keys. I was told I either continued to live like that or broke up with the boyfriend. I'm 24 now I've had a boyfriend for 4 years who is 29 he's amazing he's got a good job his own house an amazing family. My parents don't know about him becyase quite frankly I'm not throwing away my happiness to appease my controlling parents. I've been saving up and once I tell them I have a boyfriend if they don't like it in leaving. I'm a girl by the way my parents are just so controlling. I feel awful I haven't told them but then recently when I tried my mum said it I ever got w boyfriend she would disown me. Whilst I'm stuck at home I can't deal with how my parents will act so I don't tell them. Do what makes you happy your parents can't control you.


What, that's ridiculous. Your parents won't let you have a boyfriend and you're a girl and 24 years old? Did I read that wrong?

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