Do girls just want you to ''be yourself''?

I see many girls/women gives this advice, how they like guys who are ''themselves''. Would this work for most guys who have problems ? Remember that most men aren't confident, charming, funny, assertive, ambitious, adventurous and have ''cool'' hobbies (playing guitar etc). Most are either shy or insecure or introverts or nerdy or geeky or boring or don't want a highly stressful/early grave job or have hobbies like playing video games or watching football. Will a woman like a guy more when he passionately describes how he built his latest PC or how he can't wait to go to Tankfest this year?

So is being yourself all there is to it?

Pretty much. It's better someone be themselves rather than be fake.

I see many girls/women gives this advice, how they like guys who are ''themselves''. Would this work for most guys who have problems finding love? Remember that most men aren't confident, charming, funny, assertive, ambitious, adventurous and have ''cool'' hobbies (playing guitar etc). Most are either shy or insecure or introverts or nerdy or geeky or boring or don't want a highly stressful/early grave job or have hobbies like playing video games or watching football. Will a woman like a guy more when he passionately describes how he built his latest PC or how he can't wait to go to Tankfest this year?

So is being yourself all there is to it?

It's not quite like that.

Girls of course have preferences to what sort of guy they like. Some like guys that play video games and some don't.

The thing is, what they mean by 'be yourself', is that if you're not really into sport or whatever they like, then you shouldn't pretend to just for them. That also means that if you reveal that you like video games or whatever (just an example) then they won't be into you either. You've just gotta accept the fact that there are some girls you just aren't compatible with.

But if yo be yourself, you may eventually find someone that clicks with your original personality. 'Be yourself' doesn't mean that every girl's going to swoon for you when you talk about gaming PC's or whatever, but it does mean that you have a greater chance of finding someone who likes you for you.

Nah that's dumb, there's no such thing as 'being yourself' - yourself is just a collection of habits and prejudices collected in youth, surely now you know better you would like to change these habits?

only if 'yourself' means funny, attractive, confident and intelligent (not so important these days)


let the ****


meet the storm

So all these guys who can't find love should just continue being shy, introverted, insecure and simply tell the girl how excited they feel about overclocking their CPU while describing the technical process ? That's it?

Or in my case my opinions on what I think my local council can't ever seem to get right.

Intelligence is valued just not theoretical bs, if you sit and talk to me about the illustrations of Ludwig Richter i'd like you, if you sit and talk to me about postmodern 'hyperdynamic cultural bs' or whatever it is these days that doesn't make sense and is just a load of pretentious rubbish i'll tell you to get your phenomenlogical ass out of here

The problem is the ''some'' part. How many girls will be impressed with a guy who is in a band/plays youth footy for a pro club compared to a guy who has a great arena rating in wow or is a great chess player? The ratio is the issue here. How many girls would prefer the latter? Even breaking double digits percentage wise would be a gargantuan task.

By being yourself it means admitting your insecurities and not pretending to be someone you arent. *Cos if you end up in a long term relationship then you wikk have to spend a lot of time trying*to be this other person. Personally, i prefer it if i know what a guy is thinking...

I see many girls/women gives this advice, how they like guys who are ''themselves''. Would this work for most guys who have problems finding love? Remember that most men aren't confident, charming, funny, assertive, ambitious, adventurous and have ''cool'' hobbies (playing guitar etc). Most are either shy or insecure or introverts or nerdy or geeky or boring or don't want a highly stressful/early grave job or have hobbies like playing video games or watching football. Will a woman like a guy more when he passionately describes how he built his latest PC or how he can't wait to go to Tankfest this year?

So is being yourself all there is to it?

Pretty much. That's how my man (and my male friends) "reeled" in me and their girlfriends, at least. Most of us have had or are in stable relationships closing in on 3 years now. Some even longer. So yes, be yourself. That really is all you can do.
However, turning up the charm and giving some extra compliments during the "dating period" doesn't hurt either. My man used to give me the oddest, but most charming(!!), compliments before we became a pair - concerning both my looks and personality, of course. I'm not saying you need to compliment her all around the clock of course, but a weeee biiiiit of extra effort goes a long way.
Hope I didn't ramble too much, and that it was somewhat understandable...?
And don't change for anyone. If she doesn't like you as you are now, chances are she never will.