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Why do I miss him even though he was bad to me?

Mj2014

I was seeing this guy for about two months. As soon as we met there was a connection and we quickly became quite close.

The more I got to know him I noticed aspects of him that seemed controlling and manipulative. Eventually, a lot of bad information about him came to light. I caught him taking cocaine, he was arrested on suspicion of burglary, he's been in fights, he drinks far too much.....But through all of it, I still find myself wanting his approval and attention.

My friends and family have told me to wise up and stay away, which I have been doing. It just feels so painful. He'd usually contact me around eight times a day. Now I haven't heard from him in two whole days and I feel a sense of loss. You'd expect I'd be glad to get away from him. I have not initiated contact and I will not. If he messages me I will reply, but keep things short and sweet. I wouldn't want to get on bad terms with him, as he is quite intimidating.

If you have any advice on how to make myself feel better please let me know. I feel heartbroken that I could let someone so toxic into my life. Thank you for reading.

Reply 1

Dancatpro

Why do you miss him?

As you said, there was a connection.

Did you make the right decision?

Yes, 100%. However he needs to understand that it's over, you cannot have him thinking that you two are still a couple.

How can you make yourself feel better?

Spend some time doing things that make you happy

Reply 2

Eternalflames

I agree with Dancatpro here. You will miss him, as you did have a connection and have some good memories. But he was and is no good for you, going no contact with him is the best thing you can do.
And like he also mentioned focus on doing things you enjoy and loving yourself.