She's going back to her boyfriend and I feel desolate

I was, until she told me last week. I think she can fool herself into thinking she loves him. They have a nice new apartment and all the nice scenery etc. But that is none of my business.

He's an older guy in his 30's who went back to university, sounds like a cool guy. But I can't accept a girl like that, I can't be option B.

I am thinking about the other bloke, hence my pretty much instant decision to tell her I am not going to see her anymore. The way she told me just casually was just a bit too much for me, she can quite easily **** around with my feelings too if that is how she treats the supposed guy she loves.

I had to be harsh to do the right thing.

It was my choice to leave her, she wanted to meet up every month when she came back north to visit her family. Basically, she wanted an 'affair'. I was like "Nah" and told her I never wanted to really see her again.
There was a chance yes. If I wanted to be a "lad" then I could quite easily have played the whole "I love you" game , but hey, my sense of good morality is not so absent. I think I can walk away from this knowing I actually did nothing wrong.

Are you saying that I should manipulate her just to 'play well'?

At least your willing to empathise from the mans perspective. Most cheatee's wouldn't really give a damn. I think this thread says a lot about her character than it does yours or her innocent partners. She's obviously very selfish-- and he would seem like a very studious, hard working man and a good provider I assume?

I wonder, that if he should find out, would she change her tune?

I bet, he is her safe bet- the comfortable boyfriend.

Your being very wise- yeah she's probably more than capable of screwing your emotions/feelings as much as she is doing to him, don't give her the opportunity to butter you up. Get out. Before she dumps him and gets with you- then the game starts over.

He actually sounds like a cool guy, he dj's in Ibiza. I did not like the way she started talking about him as if to make me feel jealous. I don't know why she thought I would accept that kind of talking? Why would I wait for her every month and throw my affection/dates/time to her (which cost money!)? It is just nonsensical thinking.

Yes, I want her, I have my feelings for her from when I thought everything was a normal relationship. But I am just hurt by it all and to be honest she does not even exist to me anymore, I made sure I would never see her again from what I said to her tonight.

With the way she is, she is most likely with the boyfriend for the long haul. They are getting a new expensive house long term and I don't think he will ever find out, really. It is strange, in some ways she is very mature. The saving of money, the lack of a real "partying" attitude. I get the sense she is a really good actress with him and he has no idea. Really quite unassuming. I think with him she must be a totally different person, she had me fooled. But whatever...

And it really does depress me. It makes me doubt whether you can really know the true nature of your partner. This is pushing me more and more towards the free spirited lifestyle. No attachments. Just make the money, keep hitting the gym and have my fun along the way.

To put a long story short, I have been meeting a girl for sex. We have seen each other several times now, I caught feelings after a while with her. I don't know if she knows how I feel yet.

She has a boyfriend and they are in a long distance relationship, I know it is wrong but I did not know that she had a boyfriend. I told her I was casually dating other girls too (a lie!). She told me that when they move into their new house together her feelings for him will come back. They have this really nice countryside house and she sounds like she is crazy for him. This hints that I am unlikely to ever see her again.

She is moving to another city next week and I just cannot sleep or stop thinking about her. At the same time I don't want to admit how I feel for her because I know that I am likely to get rejected.

It is all just a bit ****. I wish I knew what a difficult situation this would be, in which case I would never have pursued her.

To put a long story short, I have been meeting a girl for sex. We have seen each other several times now, I caught feelings after a while with her. I don't know if she knows how I feel yet.

She has a boyfriend and they are in a long distance relationship, I know it is wrong but I did not know that she had a boyfriend. I told her I was casually dating other girls too (a lie!). She told me that when they move into their new house together her feelings for him will come back. They have this really nice countryside house and she sounds like she is crazy for him. This hints that I am unlikely to ever see her again.

She is moving to another city next week and I just cannot sleep or stop thinking about her. At the same time I don't want to admit how I feel for her because I know that I am likely to get rejected.

It is all just a bit ****. I wish I knew what a difficult situation this would be, in which case I would never have pursued her.

With the way she is, she is most likely with the boyfriend for the long haul. They are getting a new expensive house long term and I don't think he will ever find out, really. It is strange, in some ways she is very mature. The saving of money, the lack of a real "partying" attitude. I get the sense she is a really good actress with him and he has no idea. Really quite unassuming. I think with him she must be a totally different person, she had me fooled. But whatever...

And it really does depress me. It makes me doubt whether you can really know the true nature of your partner. This is pushing me more and more towards the free spirited lifestyle. No attachments. Just make the money, keep hitting the gym and have my fun along the way.

I think you just need time out, it's natural to get feelings after you have been in an intimate relationship.. They might not even be true feelings. The way you started the relationship isn't exactly a story you'd share with your kids about how you met... Time heals all wounds. Maybe be honest with her though, tell her you have feelings for her. Just so you've go it out there.. Or just try to forget about her and have fun

I'd tell the boyfriend, he deserves to know.

Nah, thats not my job. That would be a very nasty thing to do anyway, it would destroy his life.

Anyway, I am feeling a lot better now. Had a talk with my Dad and he really put things into perspective. He told me a lot of things that I did not even know, about my future, about everything. I really think that I had a lucky escape given the responsibilities I will have in the future to bring further success to this family. Imagine if I invited this girl into my family and ended up doing something crazy like giving her my surname and rights to my future? I am a lucky man.

Glad you feel better after talking with your Dad.

I think it's better you realise that this girl wasn't worth the hassle.

I feel very sorry for her partner, and like the other poster mentioned, I reckon you should tell him.

It may or may not destroy his life, but he most certainly is destroying it by unknowingly giving his future/rights and potentially his surname to her in the future. It may not be you who is the victim here, but he is.

Anyhow, glad your sorted with this