The Student Room Group

Women who don't get what makes guys ''tick''

I see so many older women (usually around age 40 or over) these days who say they can't find men of the same age who want them. ''I have a great career, salary, own my house, have a social circle, am funny, smart, educated etc etc. so why don't any good men want me?''. What they don't understand is what they are describing is what they find attractive in a man. I just can't understand how they can't figure out (especially by that age) that other things are far more important to men : youth, looks, femininity.. Sure many men also like those other qualities listed but they are not priorities and many much younger also posses them (this is something else women seem baffled about : why men almost always want to date women much younger than themselves).

The other problem is that they are competing for the attention of an ever increasing pool of ''quality'' men because of many societal changes : fewer men than women are educated these days, women under 40 make more money than men in the same bracket, the reluctance of men to get married, men are marrying foreign women etc.

It reminds of another thing middle age women don't get : wealthy, middle aged men cheating or leaving the wife for the hot 22 yo intern at work. Since they wouldn't do it, something must be ''off'' with the men. They think it's a ''middle age crisis''. No such thing, old buddy. It's simply nature and the differences between male and female sexuality. Men and women are different creatures with different evolutionary strategies.

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Reply 1
http://time.com/3433014/men-women-dating-mid-20s/

Straight men of all ages tend to have their romantic sights set on women in their mid-twenties, while women prefer men who are about the same age as they are, according to a new study.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/24/millionaire-men_n_3983741.html

The site surveyed a random sample of nearly 15,000 of their members in order to discern what type of people millionaires prefer to date. The results revealed that the vast majority of millionaire men, 79.6 percent, seek out non-millionaire women, while 84.5 percent of the female millionaires would prefer to date another millionaire.
OK, what was the point of this thread though? You haven't really given us direction in what to discuss
Original post by Daquan
The site surveyed a random sample of nearly 15,000 of their members in order to discern what type of people millionaires prefer to date. The results revealed that the vast majority of millionaire men, 79.6 percent, seek out non-millionaire women, while 84.5 percent of the female millionaires would prefer to date another millionaire.


Mmm, dat hypergamy
Reply 4
Original post by Zargabaath
OK, what was the point of this thread though? You haven't really given us direction in what to discuss


It's more of a cautionary tale for girls here, but also understanding that most things about us are based in nature (and not in a marxist theory some social ''scientist'' drilled into their heads on a Mickey Mouse course). You can have your fun in the 20's/30's or be focused on your career but don't expect to find ''Mr.Big'' later on in life. Your ''CV'' looks great to you but men are attracted to different things. And this is only going to get worse because of all the reasons I mentioned. I guess we'll have more and more cat ladies, danish sperm donors mums and so on. Especially since women find it much harder to ''settle'' than men.
(edited 8 years ago)
which is why it's better for a woman to be committed to a partner when she's younger.
who the **** goes searching for someone when you're 40 and infertile as **** (compared to when you were 20 or so)
Reply 6
Original post by scrotgrot
Mmm, dat hypergamy


Did you also see the part where women insist for a prenup while men don't? I've never seen a feminist explain why hypergamy is still so prevalent in 21st century Western world and why it gets so much worse the more successful the woman is.
Original post by Daquan


It reminds of another thing middle age women don't get : wealthy, middle aged men cheating or leaving the wife for the hot 22 yo intern at work. Since they wouldn't do it, something must be ''off'' with the men. They think it's a ''middle age crisis''. No such thing, old buddy. It's simply nature and the differences between male and female sexuality. Men and women are different creatures with different evolutionary strategies.


are you trying to justify cheating?
why commit if you're just end up with some other younger women rather than your significant other to begin with?

" Since they wouldn't do it," not true, young boys are hot af, we just have morals.

Spoiler

(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Daquan
It's more of a cautionary tale for girls here, but also understanding that most things about us are based in nature (and not in a marxist theory some social ''scientist'' drilled into their heads on a Mickey Mouse course). You can have your fun in the 20's/30's or be focused on your career but don't expect to find ''Mr.Big'' later on in life. Your ''CV'' looks great to you but men are attracted to different things.


It's been said so many times, if they haven't listened already they wont now. Why do you think no one's replied to this thread?

They'll argue that it's what makes them happy and they aren't living for men, which is absolutely fair enough. If that's what you want, by all means go for it. But then later in life they'll complain about men not being interested in them and shift the blame onto us, instead of looking at what makes them so undesirable in the first place.
Lol at 40 most women are settled in a nice family. Who the hell goes looking for a partner at that age?! What women do you talk to :lolwut:
Reply 10
Original post by alkaline.
are you trying to justify cheating?
why commit if you're just end up with some other younger women rather than your significant other to begin with?

" Since they wouldn't do it," not true, young boys are hot af, we just have morals.

Spoiler



I'm not condoning cheating, I'm explaining why it happens. It's not a ''midlife crisis''. It's guys not being able or willing to overcome their natural instincts and follow societal guidelines. Understanding why something happens makes it much easier to treat it.
Original post by Daquan
I'm not condoning cheating, I'm explaining why it happens. It's not a ''midlife crisis''. It's guys not being able or willing to overcome their natural instincts and follow societal guidelines. Understanding why something happens makes it much easier to treat it.


okay well if this is why men cheat it's a natural thing that all/most men feel, then those masses of men that don't cheat also feel this... so like LOL, the fact that there's not even a crisis makes it worse lmao they really are just a$$holes.

agree with that last point in general, but don't understand how it's applicable to this - how would you propose "treating" it, since you're saying it's nature?
Reply 12
Original post by Zargabaath
It's been said so many times, if they haven't listened already they wont now. Why do you think no one's replied to this thread?

They'll argue that it's what makes them happy and they aren't living for men, which is absolutely fair enough. If that's what you want, by all means go for it. But then later in life they'll complain about men not being interested in them and shift the blame onto us, instead of looking at what makes them so undesirable in the first place.


Yes, this is what I mean. And the forum is a groundhog day zone anyway, it's rare to touch on something that's never been discussed before. Plus there are many new members all the time so they could be interested.
Reply 13
Original post by alkaline.
okay well if this is why men cheat it's a natural thing that all/most men feel, then those masses of men that don't cheat also feel this... so like LOL, the fact that there's not even a crisis makes it worse lmao they really are just a$$holes.

agree with that last point in general, but don't understand how it's applicable to this - how would you propose "treating" it, since you're saying it's nature?


Most men aren't in the position to cheat with hot, younger women. Wealthy, powerful men have almost always had many women, even when cultural/religious rules weren't exactly cool with it. Put a virgin nerd in a boy band and see if he still wants to live forever after with his classroom crush. There was a great study a while ago about how only 1 men reproduced for every 17 women once agriculture was invented and a small percentage of men were able to amass wealth and power.

As for ways to treat it, in some cases more sex is better, in others less nagging, there are ways to make the guy feel more loved and appreciated. In some cases nothing would probably work.
Reply 14
Original post by Carrot_Cake_13
Lol at 40 most women are settled in a nice family. Who the hell goes looking for a partner at that age?! What women do you talk to :lolwut:


We have millions of single mothers, many with multiple fathers, we have a 50% divorce rates (vast majority initiated by women), millions of women are married with men they hate having sex with because they only married them as providers and sperm donors when the their bio clock was ticking out of control, we have women who stay in marriages where men cheat, beat them simply because they want the kids to have a family or need the money, women who hate their husbands because he works too much or doesn't work enough, women in arranged marriages who can't break away from their cultural norms... Go to any of the huge women's forum and you'll see what they say when they can do it anonymously. Trust me, most women are not ''happily married''.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Daquan
Most men aren't in the position to cheat with hot, younger women.


so if they were they would? :/

Original post by Daquan
Put a virgin nerd in a boy band and see if he still wants to live forever after with his classroom crush.

so no guy really wants to be with one girl forever?

Spoiler

Original post by Daquan
how only 1 men reproduced for every 17 women once agriculture was invented

what's this got to do with agriculture, unless I'm missing the point? what?

Original post by Daquan
a small percentage of men were able to amass wealth and power.

does this mean that it's just the way the world naturally works for the majority of men to not cheat, and for there only to be few that have many women?


Original post by Daquan

As for ways to treat it, in some cases more sex is better, in others less nagging, there are ways to make the guy feel more loved and appreciated. In some cases nothing would probably work.


nagging could result in cheating by other causes, and not for the same reasons you are explaining it with. That's just "annoying woman syndrome" as I like to call it.

feeling loved and appreciated is not why men "cheat with with younger, hotter women" specifically is it?, could be a reason why they might cheat in general. You said it's just natural attraction to women that are younger/more fertile. Surely a younger women is less able to make him feel loved anyway?

these ways of treating it don't add up with said cause.
(edited 8 years ago)
Women cheat and leave their husbands for other men too. Nice try justifying men cheating by saying men and women are different though.
Original post by Daquan
We have millions of single mothers, many with multiple fathers, we have a 50% divorce rates (vast majority initiated by women), millions of women are married with men they hate having sex with because they only married them as providers and sperm donors when the their bio clock was ticking out of control, we have women who stay in marriages where men cheat, beat them simply because they want the kids to have a family or need the money, women who hate their husbands because he works too much or doesn't work enough, women in arranged marriages who can't break away from their cultural norms... Go to any of the huge women's forum and you'll see what they say when they can do it anonymously. Trust me, most women are not ''happily married''.


This is true.
Original post by Daquan
I see so many older women (usually around age 40 or over)


Sounds like you have a really exciting social circle!!!! :smile: :smile:
"in some cases more sex is better, in others less nagging.... ways to make the guy feel more loved and appreciated..."

you sound incredibly clueless? i imagine that the reason you're here is because you can't imagine yourself being happy in a committed monogamous relationship and so you're seeking validation for your own insecurities. you make sweeping generalizations for nearly half of the global population whilst ignoring cultural contexts and a whole range of personal factors just so that you can justify your own irritation at women talking about their feelings in female-oriented online spaces???

even if cheating was biologically predetermined, millions of people manage not to give in to every single selfish urge they have so why is cheating any different? just face the fact that cheating in many Western societies is just immoral and frowned upon and stop making whiny threads defending gross people.

if all men are desperate to break free of their wives then they could at least have the common decency to have a grown up conversation with their spouses and tell them that they want to pursue other relationships instead of lying and betraying the promises they've made.

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