Friend is in an unhappy relationship

My friend has been with her boyfriend for a year. Things were great at the start, but they've gone very downhill (from what I've been told). She's sobbing down the phone to me most days of the week. telling me how nasty he is to her and how she wishes things could go back to how they were. I feel so sorry for her, and I've tried giving her advice, I've politely told her that maybe this relationship isn't meant to be, and nobody deserves to be treated like she is.

She says she wants to leave him, but she says she loves him too much and keeps going back to him. I feel very helpless right now, it frustrates me to hear her being treated badly, and I wish I could do something but is all I can do is listen, advise her and then watch her be sad again. What do I do? Do I just listen and hope she makes the right decision one day?

Reply 1

Alfed

How far are you away from her?

Reply 2

999tigger

How old is she? A year inst worth trying to save if hes making her cry?

She wont move until she's ready but you could put her in touch with the local refuge or helpline. No idea how psycho her other half is .

Coul she come and stay with you or you her?

Reply 3

whorace

Original post by 999tigger

Coul she come and stay with you or you her?

This is the best idea, offer her some security and a sympathetic ear.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by 999tigger

He's more emotionally abusive than physically, and she's over five hours away from me unfortunately, due to work she lives she has to live where she is

Reply 5

999tigger

Original post by Anonymous

He's more emotionally abusive than physically, and she's over five hours away from me unfortunately, due to work she lives she has to live where she is

I cant gauge the seriousness of whats going on.Emotional abuse is still abuse.
How old is she roughly?

She wont leave until shes ready and she accepts it either wont work and recognises he is abusing/ unhealthy for her. these are the appropriate people to ring. Abusing someone is not love.

http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/
Freephone Helpline0808 2000 247
http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/support-a-friend-or-family-member-experiencing-domestic-violence.aspx

http://www.disrespectnobody.co.uk/relationship-abuse/what-is-relationship-abuse/

Reply 6

BrokenLife

Seriously, I know what you feel like. Its feels so helpless when your friend loves a guy who isn't even mature enough for her. My friend is in exact situation and I can't do anything other than being there for her and listening to her or going out and about with her etc. :frown:

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by BrokenLife

Aw I know it's frustrating. I repeatedly tell her things like how she doesn't deserve this and how this isn't how a normal relationship is. She is very fixated on the idea that he'll change back to who he was in the beginning. When she talks to me, I just try to talk about positive things with her, or let her have a good cry and tell her it's all going to be okay.

Reply 8

Brutum Fulmen

There's nothing much you can do in terms of ending their relationship. All you can do is continue to be supportive and listen to your friend.

It's up to her to determine whether she wants out or not.