The Student Room Group

I'm an asexual girl - AMA

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Original post by NicoleArbour
But then world's population didn't begin to grow since the last 100 years but I haven't heard of asexuals as of now. Maybe what you feel may be correct but I don't really understand it. The opposite sex is so hot, how do you not want to experience pleasure from a person you love? Yeah loads of bisexuals seem to be in the "closet" like Shane Dawson.



No I believe gays to exist. I believe bisexuals don't lol. Like just choose one it's really not that hard. You have friends of the same sex so just enjoy that.



Right... So Caitlyn Jenner's whole thing wasn't a publicity stunt? Okay lol.




I don't know if that is a real reason for asexuality, but I think it's perfectly plausible.
I'm going to assume that you're a straight female, and that you've never wanted to have sex with another female. How come? Have you never felt desire to bang a girl, even though they're just so hot? Asexuals feel that lack of sexual desire towards everyone, just like you would towards other girls.
As I said, very few bisexuals are closeted gays. Don't assume that all bisexuals are lying. Like any other sexuality, they have no choice. Did you choose to be straight? Could you just decide to become gay? No you couldn't, because sexuality is not a choice.
I don't know why you're bringing Caitlyn into this; whether it was a stunt or not is irrelevant
Original post by Anonymous
So you don't have any crushes? Or is it that you intend to never have sex?


I've never had a crush. I've had something which aces call a "squish", which is a desire to become close friends with someone because you think they're interesting. Unsure aces often confuse a crush with what is actually a squish.

Personally, I never want to have sex or kiss. I also do not feel sexual attraction towards anyone, in the same way that a straight guy would not feel sexual attraction towards another guy.
I find asexualism (is that a word?) rather odd to imagine, and I don't mean to be offensive. Does it mean you don't masturbate at all and have no sexual feelings whatsoever?
Original post by dipka
This is a interesting topic.

I'd say I'm asexual, and like the OP think I always will be. I've never talked about it, or been to a Dr or anything, I'd never even heard of a need to see a Dr before this thread. Do I need to?


You do not have to visit a doctor. I was at the doctor for other reasons, and I thought that I might as well check since I was there, but it is not necessary to visit a doctor in order to validate your sexuality.
Original post by the bear
have you ever tasted another person's earwax ?


nope and I really hope I never do cause that sounds disgusting!
Original post by BBC Two
Have you ever been to see the pyramids in Egypt?


I haven't, but I'd absolutely love to one day!
Do ye prefer pigeons or seagulls?
i am exactly the same as the OP
soooo... :five:
Original post by Jenx301
Yes, I think I understand what you are trying to say (I think)... but I felt the exact same way when I was in your age and situation. I simply wonder if when you are slightly older and have sex if you might enjoy it. Would you consider having sex? It's just that I have seen a lot of people say they are asexual but they have never had sex before. Idk. It's your identity though.


I totally understand where you're coming from, and to a certain extent it makes sense. How is someone to know that they don't like something until they try it? However, this does not apply to sexualities. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I'm going to assume that you're straight. Would you ever consider having sex with someone of the same gender, just to try it and make sure you're not gay? I'm imagining your answer to this would be something like "no, not because I'm against gays or hate the same gender, but I just know it's something I wouldn't particularly enjoy and I have no desire to try it, I just know somewhere deep inside that it's not for me."
That is what asexuals feel about sex in general. It's difficult to explain, but deep down I just know it's not for me.
Reply 49
I started identifying as an asexual for quite a long time now, but I'm not sure if I'm fully asexual. Sorry, this sounds odd!

It started quite early, around the primary school. You know kids, dating innocently etc. On valentines, putting card under the desk. Girls gossiping about boys and vice versa. I never found myself interested in that. Then once a boy approached on a park, hitting on me but I felt nothing again and politely declined his offer for a coffee. At that time I thought 'I'm still too young to know, maybe once I'm older?'

Then we got the puberty phase and still nothing. I had no desire to date and I didn't find anyone attractive enough for me to want to have any romantic interactions with. I'm not shy about sex, still a virgin but not due to social norms (virgin bride or religion) or waiting for that one, I just don't like the idea of sex. I had the occasions but I never felt like doing it.

Now, what makes me unsure is that despite the lack of desire to have sex I like romance, I like reading romantic novels, comics, movies, I get the fluffy feeling a little bit. I sometimes gets quite horny (so my body does secrete all fluid necessary to have sex), as in there an itch that needs to be scratched but never to the extend to actually wanting to have full sex. I do occasionally watch some porn, hentai. I'm in my late 20s so the period to be confused is mostly over so idk what it is exactly with me. I don't want any romantic relationships either BUT if I ever end up somehow, I would like a white marriage, I can do with some cuddling but nothing more. No, I was never sexually assaulted, I checked my body and it's all fine.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by popcornjpg
I find asexualism (is that a word?) rather odd to imagine, and I don't mean to be offensive. Does it mean you don't masturbate at all and have no sexual feelings whatsoever?


The word would be asexuality :smile:
It's not offensive at all, this thread is for asking all these sorts of questions!
Some asexuals masturbate, some don't, it depends on each person. Personally I don't, but I've read that some asexuals who do describe it as scratching an itch: they have an "itch" to do something, so they do it because of that. They don't do it for pleasure or enjoyment, because of a purely bodily urge.
Asexuality is basically a lack of desire to have sex and a lack of sexual attraction
Why did you feel to anounce this anonymously? After all, I join you on the asexual side of the popultion, but it's most certainly not something to be ashamed of. We should anounce it and stand proud for it. Ignore what Nicole Arbour is saying. She's a bitch anyway.
Original post by Woody_Pigeon
Do ye prefer pigeons or seagulls?


seagulls. Pigeons are just inconvenient pests, so are seagulls tbh, but seagulls at least make cool noises.
Original post by Anonymous
What you are describing is a romantic attraction (desire to with with someone romantically) and for asexuals it can be difficult to find our romantic attraction since we do not have sexual attraction. Asexuals can have romantic attraction for same sex, both sexes, opposite sex, or no-one.
Personally, I do not like kissing but I do like cuddling. Whether I'd want to be romantically involved with someone is something which I'm still trying to figure out.


Do you masturbate?
Original post by Anonymous
I totally understand where you're coming from, and to a certain extent it makes sense. How is someone to know that they don't like something until they try it? However, this does not apply to sexualities. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I'm going to assume that you're straight. Would you ever consider having sex with someone of the same gender, just to try it and make sure you're not gay? I'm imagining your answer to this would be something like "no, not because I'm against gays or hate the same gender, but I just know it's something I wouldn't particularly enjoy and I have no desire to try it, I just know somewhere deep inside that it's not for me."
That is what asexuals feel about sex in general. It's difficult to explain, but deep down I just know it's not for me.


Well I guess I am kinda weird in terms of how I came to identify my sexuality so maybe that is where I get a little confused with asexuals. I am not straight at all and I just kinda thought I'm open to trying anything and I had sex with girls and I had sex with boys and I like both. I guess that makes me bisexual, I thought I might be but I wasn't really sure tbh until I tried it to see how I felt. I guess that's why I was asking you have you ever tried sex to see how you feel about it. Before I ever had sex I was just like "meh" about the whole thing. Does that make sense?
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Riverstar
seagulls. Pigeons are just inconvenient pests, so are seagulls tbh, but seagulls at least make cool noises.


HERESY!
Original post by Anonymous
nope and I really hope I never do cause that sounds disgusting!


me either :giggle:
Original post by Anonymous
X


Original post by Tinemither
Why did you feel to anounce this anonymously? After all, I join you on the asexual side of the popultion, but it's most certainly not something to be ashamed of. We should anounce it and stand proud for it. Ignore what Nicole Arbour is saying. She's a bitch anyway.


Just thought I'd quote you in this, so you don't lose the question among the mass.
Original post by EHK
I started identifying as an asexual for quite a long time now, but I'm not sure if I'm fully asexual. Sorry, this sounds odd!

It started quite early, around the primary school. You know kids, dating innocently etc. On valentines, putting card under the desk. Girls gossiping about boys and vice versa. I never found myself interested in that. Then once a boy approached on a park, hitting on me but I felt nothing again and politely declined his offer for a coffee. At that time I thought 'I'm still too young to know, maybe once I'm older?'

Then we got the puberty phase and still nothing. I had no desire to date and I didn't find anyone attractive enough for me to want to have any romantic interactions with. I'm not shy about sex, still a virgin but not due to social norms (virgin bride or religion) or waiting for that one, I just don't like the idea of sex. I had the occasions but I never felt like doing it.

Now, what makes me unsure is that despite the lack of desire to have sex I like romance, I like reading romantic novels, comics, movies, I get the fluffy feeling a little bit. I sometimes gets quite horny (so my body does secrete all fluid necessary to have sex) but never to the extend to actually wanting to have full sex. I do occasionally watch some porn, hentai. I'm in my late 20s so the period to be confused is mostly over so idk what it is exactly with me. I don't want any romantic relationships either BUT if I ever end up somehow, I would like a white marriage, I can do with some cuddling but nothing more. No, I was never sexually assaulted, I checked my body and it's all fine.


Hi, it's always nice to talk to a fellow ace:smile: I'm gonna try and help as best I can
People have 3 orientations:
- sexual (desire to have sex with someone of X gender)
- romantic (desire to be romantically involved with someone of X gender)
- sensual ( desire to have sensual contact, but not necessarily sexual, with someone of X gender)

For most people, these orientations will align perfectly (someone will be hetereosexual, heteroromantic and heterosensual) For others, they may not line up 100% (someone will be bisexual, homoromantic and bisensual)
People do not usually talk about sensual and romantic orientations because theirs align. For asexuals, however, we need these terms to better understand our desires, since we do not have a sexual orientation.
I know that there is a term for people who like the idea of romantic relationships but do not want to be involved in one themselves, but I cannot remember it right now, sorry.
It's totally fine for asexuals to watch porn. Just because you watch something doesn't mean you want to do it!
I recommend you explore romantic and sensual orientations and try out a few, see what fits best, if labels are your thing. aven.org is a great website and you'll be able to find people there who will be able to help :smile:
Original post by Tinemither
Why did you feel to anounce this anonymously? After all, I join you on the asexual side of the popultion, but it's most certainly not something to be ashamed of. We should anounce it and stand proud for it. Ignore what Nicole Arbour is saying. She's a bitch anyway.


Honestly, I did feel quite unsure about whether to be anon or not. My friends come on this site a lot and I'm not out to them yet, but I know that's a feeble excuse

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