'Sexuality is fluid'

When people say they believe that 'sexuality is fluid', do they mean that people's sexuality can change over time or that people are born on a scale of sexuality?

Reply 1

luminarychild

Idk but I sure put the fluids into the sex :sexface:

Both

Yes, I think it can change. I don't think I could give you a very good reason why I think so, but I do.

Not by choice though. It's something we don't really have conscious control over.

Reply 4

Tinemither

Original post by BWV1007

When people say they believe that 'sexuality is fluid', do they mean that people's sexuality can change over time or that people are born on a scale of sexuality?

It is the belief that your sexuality may change over time. An example of this is parents who, after marital/relationship separation, choose or feel they are another sexuality. There are cases of parents feeling they are not the right sex for their body, being trans, or parents who feel they are into the same sex. Sometimes asexual people begin to develop sexual attractions, and thus could be classified as demisexual or otherwise, depending on their preference.

Reply 5

EHK

I think this is highly depended on the circumstances that occur to you in your life. Anything that you experience can change your mind state/needs/desires. Of course hopefully not the traumatic/brutal events! But you know as the life goes on

Reply 6

BWV1007

Original post by Alexion

Yes, I think it can change. I don't think I could give you a very good reason why I think so, but I do.

Not by choice though. It's something we don't really have conscious control over.

Original post by Tinemither

So what you're saying is that a homosexual person can 'choose' to become straight if he wants to? Doesn't that undermine the whole LGBT+ rights movement? The point of it I thought was to gain acceptance and equality for people who had to go through some painful experience whether at school or at home or at work for being 'the way they were born'. If sexuality is fluid, wouldn't that mean it's partly homosexuals' fault for not 'choosing' to be straight and instead choose to suffer from childhood bullying, etc?

Reply 7

Alexion

Original post by BWV1007

I repeat:

Original post by Alexion

Not by choice though. It's something we don't really have conscious control over.

I guess you could think about it as "discovering your true sexuality". But I do genuinely think that experiences can affect which sex you're attracted to.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 8

EHK

Original post by BWV1007

I don't think you got the choice, it's more as your needs/desires change due to life events/experience and you have no control over that. Just being honest with your feelings and doing what you want at that particular time, I think?

At first I was confused with this fluidity concept but I'm starting to get it a bit now.

Reply 9

Feel Tha Bern

It's only fluid afterwards :smug:

Reply 10

Riverstar

I think that people are born on a scale, and over the course of their life they can move around on that scale

Reply 11

Brutum Fulmen

If it can change then surely you're not born gay?

Reply 12

EHK

Original post by Alexion

I repeat:
I guess you could think about it as "discovering your true sexuality". But I do genuinely think that experiences can affect which sex you're attracted to.

I think this could be difficult to claim it to be "discovering your true sexuality", since the concept allows the sexuality to change, you could say that theoretically you are all the sexualities possible if your life events/experience allows you to go through all of them in your life-span.

I think some people are more prone to fluidity than others, most will remain stick to their main sexuality but some will be more flexible. Of course, it's all up to your mind's desires, you have no control over that. I'm more inclined to the idea of a sexuality scale and over your life you move around that scale and if you are on the borderline of two defined sexualities, you can go both ways?

But I think there are people who have fixed true sexuality (straight/gay, maybe bi/asexual too) and those were born that way.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 13

Asolare

Original post by Brutum Fulmen

If it can change then surely you're not born gay?

Well arguably people aren't really born 'into' a sexuality, I am very skeptical whether you would be able to call a 4/5 year old child gay/straight/bi etc. cause they don't possess the ability to feel sexual attraction (I believe?).

So yes it would mean you're not born gay, but I don't see that as an outlandish thing to say against LGBT+*

*though I know a few of them will probably take it the wrong way...

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 14

whorace

Idk only ever been sexually attracted to women personally, I can entertain the idea that a guy looks good but I don't get aroused by it ...

Reply 15

Brutum Fulmen

Original post by Inexorably

Most would take it the wrong way.

Many gay people, when asked when they knew, will say "Oh I knew when I was 3/4 years olds".

I personally do think you're born gay or whatever, but you don't develop that sexuality until you hit puberty.

I don't really think sexuality is "fluid" either... Maybe for bisexuals since they're attracted to both sexes, but I don't understand it for a straight or gay man/woman.

Reply 16

Retired_Messiah

Well seeing as people's tastes can change over time, and sexuality at its core is just a sexual preference, I suppose that would make it theoretically possible for one's sexuality to change.

idk what this scale flummery is tho

Reply 17

Asolare

Original post by Brutum Fulmen

I've never come across anyone who has said they discovered it at that young an age - it's normally around teenage years when they say they noticed and knew :tongue:

Being born but not developing until puberty wouldn't account for people who don't discover their sexuality after puberty has ended, or who change sexualities after puberty has ended either.

I think you're using the term 'fluid' in a different sense; I believe it to be the idea that sexuality is on a scale and you can change on the scale across any point of your life, not the idea that you can switch between wanting to **** a man/woman on a very regular basis.

Reply 18

Brutum Fulmen

Original post by Inexorably

I've never come across anyone who has said they discovered it at that young an age - it's normally around teenage years when they say they noticed and knew :tongue:

If you discover something about yourself, you always were what you've discovered, it just took you that little bit longer to find out.

I'm sure the people who "discover" they're gay when they're 40 years old and married knew it in the back of their minds when they were younger. Same with transgender people like Bruce Jenner.

Fluidity is just all too confusing to me. I don't read too much into sexuality. I know what I am and who I am and who I like.

Reply 19

Asolare

Original post by Brutum Fulmen

Hmm I understand where you're coming from and agree that one could argue from that perspective, but then there are definitely people who do indeed go from one sexuality to another without having doubts beforehand. Obviously we can't know whether they're telling the truth, but supposing they are I'm still certain people can go through a change in sexuality - I don't believe in one 'true' sexuality for a person :tongue:

It is rather confusing to think about, I agree. I wish science would be able to provide us with more answers about sexuality - e.g. a ''gay gene'', the effect of any possible environmental factors and so on, but right now it's all still kinda limited iirc.