Online friendships

So I have known this guy for about a year now, online and we talk all the day, most of the day, when we're free. We share things about our lives and just have become really good friends - or that is what he says.

However, when I mention meeting up, he says, he doesn't want to. Before he used to use his parents as an excuse, but he recently said that actually there is no reason, other than the fact that he just doesn't want to.

Now I don't know what to think. Is that really what someone who cared about you do? Would he really not want to meet up? Or is it just because he doesn't see any true worth in our friendship and transposing it from virtuality into reality?

Reply 1

Vikingninja

There's a lot of reasons why someone may not want to meet up. Personally I don't want to meet up with a lot of my online friends because I am not so good socially in person compared to online and really I would most likely find it awkward and our relationship would probably be different after that.

Reply 2

999tigger

I'd think he does have a reason(s), but he just doesnt wnat to tell you. If online only is not enough, then tell him and move on. It doesnt have to be anything about you.

Reply 3

Alfed

Why don't you ask him? Maybe he is just happy with things as they are and doesn't want it to change?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by Alfed

Why don't you ask him? Maybe he is just happy with things as they are and doesn't want it to change?

I would, but he just tells me he doesn't want to meet me. He says there is no reason.

The only way I can think of is that he just doesn't like me

Reply 5

999tigger

Original post by Anonymous

I would, but he just tells me he doesn't want to meet me. He says there is no reason.

The only way I can think of is that he just doesn't like me

Honestly theres reasons hes just not telling you. its just as likely to be him.

Catfish

Original post by Anonymous

I would, but he just tells me he doesn't want to meet me. He says there is no reason.

The only way I can think of is that he just doesn't like me

No I mean ask him if he cares about you.

Reply 8

Asolare

The idea of going from online to irl is very uncomfortable to a lot of people, and I understand why he wouldn't to.

I suppose there's a slight possibility he's trying to hide something (e.g. catfish) but that's massively jumping to a conclusion there.

Reply 9

sunni money

meet irl asap or cut it off completely

otherwise youre just heading down a path of inevitable misery and time-wasting.

Reply 10

Tiger Rag

How far away does he live?

As has been mentioned, (and I feel the same, tbh) some people don't feel comfortable with meeting up with people they've met online.

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

do u think hes a catfish? go on google and type "reverse image search" and search all of his photos and see if anyone else's profiles come up and also ask him to make snapchat

Reply 12

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

do u think hes a catfish? go on google and type "reverse image search" and search all of his photos and see if anyone else's profiles come up and also ask him to make snapchat

No I don't think he's a catfish.

Original post by Tiger Rag

How far away does he live?

As has been mentioned, (and I feel the same, tbh) some people don't feel comfortable with meeting up with people they've met online.

But surely, if we've spoken for almost a year and we say we're 'good' friends, then it wouldn't be a problem?

He said I was one of the the most important people in his life, but that's not concurrent with his desire to not meet up...

Reply 13

Tiger Rag

Original post by Anonymous

I have a few friends who I met IRL after several years. I've known some of my online friends for some 5 years and we haven't met, partly due to distance.

Reply 14

Anonymous #3

Original post by Tiger Rag

I have a few friends who I met IRL after several years. I've known some of my online friends for some 5 years and we haven't met, partly due to distance.

But did they ever explicitly say to you in a definitive manner that they don't want to meet you?

Reply 15

Tiger Rag

Original post by Anonymous

But did they ever explicitly say to you in a definitive manner that they don't want to meet you?

Reply 16

999tigger

Sometimes it builds up into a big thing. It might not be anything to do with you so dont go making yourself paranoid. If he doesnt wnat to meet and thats not enough then tell him and end it.