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My friend stole from me and I feel awful

I had a get together w my friends and there was a full bottle of wine which we didn't get round to drinking. When they left I couldn't find it anywhere. I thought one of my housemates (who I don't get along with) stole it and shrugged it off cause I didn't want to cause drama. I texted most of my friends asking if they took it to which they replied no. I forgot about it until a few days later I saw the exact same bottle in my friends room half full. I asked her why she took it and why she said no when I asked if she took it. She was laughing and saying it was hers even though it is blatantly the same one I had... I came to her for all my problems and considered her one of my most trustworthy friends. A bottle of wine is not a big deal but it's the dishonesty that hurts, especially as she still hasn't texted me to apologise even though I stormed out of her room and I was obviously upset by it :frown: I have trust issues and SA so I can't stop thinking about it. Not sure how to deal with it..
(edited 8 years ago)

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Might not be yours.....
get used to it. People sometimes let you down and they arent always reliable. Its only a bottle of wine, you just know that she has different values and will lie, when you might not. She might not take it as seriously as you. It might not be the same bottle (theres a chance).

Its not your fault, it doesnt reflect on you so dont throw it back on yourself because you did nothing wrong. Obviously be more cautious with her but you dont have to throw the whole friendship away.
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Original post by KissMyAbs
Might not be yours.....


It was 100%.
You need to grow up...

Maybe she thought you were going to leave it there and decided to take it and then realised you wanted it and felt embarrassed to say she had taken it.

Also she might be telling the truth and it's not yours.

Either way you have serious trust issues over a half empty bottle of wine.
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Original post by 999tigger
get used to it. People sometimes let you down and they arent always reliable. Its only a bottle of wine, you just know that she has different balues and will lie, when you might not. She might no take it as seriously as you.

Its not your fault, it doesnt reflect on you so dont throw it back on yourself because you did nothing wrong. Obviously be more cautious with her but you dont have to throw the whole friendship away.


It just hurts when it's one of the few people you suspect and also the fact that she outright said no and was ok with it when I asked if she had it. I'm also questioning who else was in on it and also lied to me now :/
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Original post by AccountingBabe
You need to grow up...

Maybe she thought you were going to leave it there and decided to take it and then realised you wanted it and felt embarrassed to say she had taken it.

Also she might be telling the truth and it's not yours.

Either way you have serious trust issues over a half empty bottle of wine.


Like I said it's not what she stole. It's the fact she took it without asking, then kept on denying it. Not sure why she would feel embarrassed as we are close friends. I could just be overthinking it as I do with everything :s-smilie:
Original post by AccountingBabe
You need to grow up...

Maybe she thought you were going to leave it there and decided to take it and then realised you wanted it and felt embarrassed to say she had taken it.

Also she might be telling the truth and it's not yours.

Either way you have serious trust issues over a half empty bottle of wine.


Op needs to grow up because someone else was immature and stole her wine and didn't even have the decency to admit it ?
Original post by cajach
I had a get together w my friends and there was a full bottle of wine which we didn't get round to drinking. When they left I couldn't find it anywhere. I thought one of my housemates (who I don't get along with) stole it and shrugged it off cause I didn't want to cause drama. I texted most of my friends asking if they took it to which they replied no. I forgot about it until a few days later I saw the exact same bottle in my friends room half full. I asked her why she took it and why she said no when I asked if she took it. She was laughing and saying it was hers even though it is blatantly the same one I had... I came to her for all my problems and considered her one of my most trustworthy friends. A bottle of wine is not a big deal but it's the dishonesty that hurts, especially as she still hasn't texted me to apologise even though I stormed out of her room and I was obviously upset by it :frown: I have trust issues and SA so I can't stop thinking about it. Not sure how to deal with it..


i'm going to say it probably not yours you don't seem to be a petrus or rothschild drinker so it was a £5 bottle or a £80 bottle or a £1100 bottle
Original post by AccountingBabe
You need to grow up...

Maybe she thought you were going to leave it there and decided to take it and then realised you wanted it and felt embarrassed to say she had taken it.

Also she might be telling the truth and it's not yours.

Either way you have serious trust issues over a half empty bottle of wine.


telling someone to grow up when they have sa issues, isnt really going to be helpful. Presumably the bottle was full before she took it. You should read the thread as the Op explains why its a big deal to her.
Original post by jamesthehustler
i'm going to say it probably not yours you don't seem to be a petrus or rothschild drinker so it was a £5 bottle or a £80 bottle or a £1100 bottle


It was £5. Don't know why everyone keeps going on about how its just a bottle of wine. I've already agreed that a bottle of wine is not a big deal. A friend stole from me and I feel betrayed. Is that so irrational? :/
Original post by cajach
It just hurts when it's one of the few people you suspect and also the fact that she outright said no and was ok with it when I asked if she had it. I'm also questioning who else was in on it and also lied to me now :/


You are dwelling on it too much and that is backfiring on you. focus on the fact it was only a bottle of wine and be cautious about her.

No need to question about a conspiracy as thats blowing it up out of proportion. It doesnt help you.
Original post by 999tigger
You are dwelling on it too much and that is backfiring on you. focus on the fact it was only a bottle of wine and be cautious about her.

No need to question about a conspiracy as thats blowing it up out of proportion. It doesnt help you.


I will try thanks. Do you think I should talk to her about it or just let it go?
There's absolutely no way you could know it was yours. There would have been thousands of the same bottle produced across the country. Drop it and move on, it shouldn't be something that would crumble a friendship — especially when you have no real idea if it was yours.
Original post by cajach
I will try thanks. Do you think I should talk to her about it or just let it go?


let it go. storming out of room too drama queenish.
She may come and apologise, at which point accept it if its genuine.
She may not at which point just get on with things and put it behind you.

You cant trust everyone, so just be cautious.
It may or may not have been your wine , but as you know which bottle and you are there then your in a better position. Move on as thats whats best for you.
Original post by cajach
It was £5. Don't know why everyone keeps going on about how its just a bottle of wine. I've already agreed that a bottle of wine is not a big deal. A friend stole from me and I feel betrayed. Is that so irrational? :/


so it a £5 bottle probably bought in the same store as you bought yours
i mean if it had been an expensive bottle then yes it's more likely that it was stolen if your friend had one too all of a sudden
Original post by iEthan
There's absolutely no way you could know it was yours. There would have been thousands of the same bottle produced across the country. Drop it and move on, it shouldn't be something that would crumble a friendship — especially when you have no real idea if it was yours.



There is a chance it could have been someone elses, but you could narrow that down.

If th bottle was yours as you bought it and of a distinctive brand (label) then youd have to think it was more then a oincidence that she just happened to have that brand at the time one went missing. I dont think its an un reasonable assumption and you would never know without DNA testing etc.

You just have to move on though.
Original post by jamesthehustler
so it a £5 bottle probably bought in the same store as you bought yours
i mean if it had been an expensive bottle then yes it's more likely that it was stolen if your friend had one too all of a sudden


Price doesnt have to be the decider on whetehr its distinctive or not. the OP has the advantage of knowing what the brand was.
Original post by 999tigger
Price doesnt have to be the decider on whetehr its distinctive or not. the OP has the advantage of knowing what the brand was.


but a £5 bottle a store keeps what 2-3 cases in stock at anyone time of one brand so it plausible if it was a rothschild the only place you find one of those is waitrose catalogue or harrods or amazon
Original post by jamesthehustler
so it a £5 bottle probably bought in the same store as you bought yours
i mean if it had been an expensive bottle then yes it's more likely that it was stolen if your friend had one too all of a sudden


It would have been a convenient coincidence since it was the exact same brand, same type of wine, from a pretty specific region. Plus I find it strange how someone who claims they don't like wine would go out of their way into town to buy some. Unless they spent minimum order £40 to order from the supermarket which it is sold exclusively to to get it home delivered. Which would also be a unusual seeing as she is living in catered accommodation. But yes, there could be a chance it was not mine.

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