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Give him a chance OR run?

There's this guy friend I got really close to from first semester since starting uni.

He told me how much changed after a certain event that happened in his life. He mentioned he used to play & use girls after being heart broken, along with binge drinking & doing drugs. Since January he got back to his habit of drinking & drugs because he 'had problems' (he didn't want to tell me about).

Recently he texted me while drunk & high telling me his neighbour who he dated 'not long ago' from January to February (THIS YEAR) broke his heart by playing him. At that time he was trying to pursue someone else from my course. In the text he said I'm different from the other girls (since he can trust and connect with me better). I confessed my feelings after he asked how I felt about him.

Yesterday (when he was sober) he asked me out after asking if I was serious about him. I confronted him why he was trying to pursue another girl while he was with someone. He denied it and said he was confused because of the drugs & drinks. And he was dating his neighbour in January to February LAST YEAR instead of this THIS YEAR. Also he said he got into a problem with 2 girls from the past which came back to haunt him, which contributed to his drinking.

Can alcohol confuse/ & make you tell the truth? Is he lying to me? Is there any red flags?
(edited 8 years ago)

Scroll to see replies

Red flags: drinking/drug problems.
Reply 2
Avatar for whorace
whorace
2
Red flags: drugs / alcohol + victim complex + falling into habits and lying + selfishly hurting other people + probably playing you like a moron + literally just a bit of an idiot

+ get your trainers on and run
Reply 3
Avatar for HotFlash
HotFlash
1
Flip a coin.
run
If you have to ask then it's probably wise to pack your bags and run like Mo Farah
sounds like a loser
I really wanted to say yes, but the alarms were ringing for both of you. Drink drugs inconsistency, manipulator, , victim player, deception , bs from him and you sound a bit flakey/gullible for him.
Not a good mix that will end in tears (yours). It makes me wonder how many more warning factors you'd need to say no if these werent enough. Walk/run away.
Reply 8
Avatar for sunshine97
sunshine97
OP
11
Original post by SeanFM
Red flags: drinking/drug problems.


He told me he's gonna stop drinking and doing drugs after collapsing yesterday from it. He said when he thought he was going to die, that's when he realised how much he liked me. Does it seem BS?

Original post by whorace
Red flags: drugs / alcohol + victim complex + falling into habits and lying + selfishly hurting other people + probably playing you like a moron + literally just a bit of an idiot

+ get your trainers on and run


What makes you think he's lying to me?

Spoiler

(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 9
Avatar for whorace
whorace
2
Original post by sunshine97
He told me he's gonna stop drinking and doing drugs after collapsing yesterday from it. He said when he thought he was going to die, that's when he realised how much he liked me. Does it seem BS?



What makes you think he's lying to me?


He's definitely lying to you, he has a drug and alcohol problem, a history of hurting people, and do you really think all of those women were at fault? I get it, some people have had a bad ex or two, but this guy never takes responsibility for anything, he'll tell you he will quit, he won't, and if he does it won't be for you.

Brogues? Nice choice :tongue:
(edited 8 years ago)
I think drink can make you tell the truth sometimes because it lowers your inhibitions and your barriers come down however with drugs it's a different story..
Reply 11
Avatar for mkap
mkap
20
Original post by whorace
He's definitely lying to you, he has a drug and alcohol problem, a history of hurting people, and do you really think all of those women were at fault? I get it, some people have had a bad ex or two, but this guy never takes responsibility for anything, he'll tell you he will quit, he won't, and if he does it won't be for you.

Brogues? Nice choice :tongue:


this. he probs plays that card with every girl. the best you can do is be his friend and help him change as a person.
Original post by HotFlash
Flip a coin.


I got Tails :s-smilie: What is that supposed to mean?

Original post by MACmakeupgirl
run


What makes you say that?

Original post by Legendary Quest
If you have to ask then it's probably wise to pack your bags and run like Mo Farah


I asked him because I thought there were some stuff that didn't make sense. So by asking him, I thought it would make more sense to me, since it might've been a misunderstanding.

Original post by SentryE3D
sounds like a loser


Why would you say that?
Original post by sunshine97
I got Tails :s-smilie: What is that supposed to mean?






Heads = give him a chance

Tails = Run away.
Original post by sunshine97
There's this guy friend I got really close to from first semester since starting uni.

He told me how much changed after a certain event that happened in his life. He mentioned he used to play & use girls after being heart broken, along with binge drinking & doing drugs. Since January he got back to his habit of drinking & drugs because he 'had problems' (he didn't want to tell me about).

Recently he texted me while drunk & high telling me his neighbour who he dated 'not long ago' from January to February broke his heart by playing him. At that time he was trying to pursue someone else from my course. In the text he said I'm different from the other girls (since he can trust and connect with me better). I confessed my feelings after he asked how I felt about him.

Yesterday (when he was sober) he asked me out after asking if I was serious about him. I confronted him why he was trying to pursue another girl while he was with someone. He denied it and said he was confused because of the drugs & drinks. And he was dating his neighbour in January to February last year instead of this year. Also he said he got into a problem with 2 girls from the past which came back to haunt him, which contributed to his drinking.

Can alcohol confuse/ & make you tell the truth? Is he lying to me? Is there any red flags?


yes red flags are drugs and alcohol

also you mentioned he is a girl? so you're dating a heshe?
Original post by sunshine97

Why would you say that?


Sounds like a "waah waah my feelings got hurt so I'll overreact with drugs and alcohol" type of guy
Original post by thefatone
yes red flags are drugs and alcohol

also you mentioned he is a girl? so you're dating a heshe?


Where?
i may have made a huge mistake

i'm very tired from lack of competent answers from my chem teacher ;( i've been killing myself on chem all day X_X
Original post by Student403
Where?
Original post by thefatone
i may have made a huge mistake

i'm very tired from lack of competent answers from my chem teacher ;( i've been killing myself on chem all day X_X


Happens to the best of us XD
Original post by thefatone
yes red flags are drugs and alcohol

also you mentioned he is a girl? so you're dating a heshe?


The bit you underlined is him saying op is different from others girls he has dated in the past. Nothing in her post mentioned the guy is a she.

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