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Give him a chance OR run?

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OP you sound quite young. When you get more epxerience of people then you realise what red flags are and why you need to take notice of them. People like this are more trouble than they are worth. be careful who you invest time and energy in. Is he lying? Almost certainly.

Reply 21

thefatone

Original post by Student403

Happens to the best of us XD

Original post by chikane

The bit you underlined is him saying op is different from others girls he has dated in the past. Nothing in her post mentioned the guy is a she.

well we know op doesn't swing that way then

run I guess

Original post by whorace

He's definitely lying to you, he has a drug and alcohol problem, a history of hurting people, and do you really think all of those women were at fault? I get it, some people have had a bad ex or two, but this guy never takes responsibility for anything, he'll tell you he will quit, he won't, and if he does it won't be for you.

Brogues? Nice choice :tongue:

Since uni started he hasn't took part in any of the habits while I was talking to him. Before January (before the habit began again) he mentioned that I think and act differently to other girls due to the fact I've been to a GIRLS school and sixth form, and before making it obvious he was going to confess soon, he asked if I had any other male friends (at that time I didn't and I didn't like him at that time either so I tried making it obvious).

After he found out I made a new male friend, He started ranting about how girls are all players (START OF JANUARY).

I'm thinking what if he did truly change for a while, but that was just a one off? He seemed pretty guilty about his past. :s-smilie:

Spoiler

Original post by jawsontheflooor

I think drink can make you tell the truth sometimes because it lowers your inhibitions and your barriers come down however with drugs it's a different story..

So are you saying it might be possible that drugs can make you confused about events in your life and time?

Original post by mkap

this. he probs plays that card with every girl. the best you can do is be his friend and help him change as a person.

So if I do need to run :eek:

How should I turn down the offer of being with him? Because I told him I'll think about it.

Also what makes you think he plays that card with other girls too?

RUN

Original post by sunshine97

Spoiler

So are you saying it might be possible that drugs can make you confused about events in your life and time?

So if I do need to run :eek:

How should I turn down the offer of being with him? Because I told him I'll think about it.

Also what makes you think he plays that card with other girls too?

tell him your not like other girls. it will make him respect you

Reply 26

999tigger

Original post by mkap

tell him your not like other girls. it will make him respect you

Hasnt he alreay told her that? Wouldnt he tell all grils that?

Its quite sweet, but i would place moneu he has all the characteristics i outlines in my first post and he is bad news. Sometimes you have to make your own mistakes though.

Reply 27

jawsontheflooor

Original post by sunshine97

Yes it's certainly possible, I've seen it happen.. different drugs have different effects on your body

Reply 28

sunshine97

Original post by 999tigger

I really wanted to say yes, but the alarms were ringing for both of you. Drink drugs inconsistency, manipulator, , victim player, deception , bs from him and you sound a bit flakey/gullible for him.
Not a good mix that will end in tears (yours). It makes me wonder how many more warning factors you'd need to say no if these werent enough. Walk/run away.

He has consistantly been doing drugs for few years before uni but after starting he quit. What if the drugs and binge drinking was a one off?

What makes you think he's manipulating/decieving me as well as playing the victim?

I've never been in a relationship or talked to guys before in real life since I've been in a girls school and sixth form. He's also the only guy I'm currently friends with.

Original post by HotFlash

Heads = give him a chance

Tails = Run away.

Lol I'll see how many tails I get first :tongue:

Original post by thefatone

yes red flags are drugs and alcohol

also you mentioned he is a girl? so you're dating a heshe?

Lol it's a guy :mmm:

I can't blame you for thinking it's a girl.

Original post by SentryE3D

Sounds like a "waah waah my feelings got hurt so I'll overreact with drugs and alcohol" type of guy

How does that make someone a loser though? :unsure:

Reply 29

sunshine97

Original post by studyranger

run I guess

Original post by lytran

RUN

Why do you think I need to run?

Original post by 999tigger

After confronting him. I told him I'm suffering from Eating Disorder, so if what he said turns out to be a lie then it'll just worsen my condition, based on the experiences from other sufferers. He then told me that he won't cheat and that he felt protective of me from the beginning.

Also whilst drunk texting, he said after I helped him at uni when he was stumbling everywhere when he was drunk, that's when he realised he still liked me despite what happened at the start of January (when he found out I had another male friend who he thought I was dating). He also said even though I'm like a kid it's hard to find someone like me.

Does he still seem like bad news?

Original post by jawsontheflooor

Yes it's certainly possible, I've seen it happen.. different drugs have different effects on your body

Really? Can you give an example of when confusions like this happened? He mentioned he had coke once, do you know if coke could do anything like this?

Reply 30

lytran

He sounds like trouble to me :smile:

Reply 31

999tigger

Drugs are bad News, they can be an addiction,. people get used to lying to get them or hide their habit. You only have his word he quit, you never stop being an addict.

I dont believe his story(ofc I dont know him) but alarm bells are ringing for everyone. the way you talk about him, honestly you are very inexperienced. he's already been through several girls, wonder what they would say if you talked to them?

Honestly save yourself the trouble and date someone a bit normal without all those problems when you get to uni. there are a lot of unpleasant people out there.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3451558/Drunken-boyfriend-thrown-Ritz-attacking-girlfriend-not-sex-Valentine-s-Day.html

Hes spinning you a line, that i bet he spins to all the girls. Your the only one that understands me............

Reply 32

999tigger

OP he seems weak in resorting to drink and drugs to hide his other issues. its a lot to have to deal with someone like this as your first bf especially when you are so inexperienced. When you get to uni ofc you are going to probably drink and may come across drugs. Some people take it too far and become addicts or just cnat handle it. It cna make them liars, unreliable and manipulators. Do you need those extra problems? Imo id just rather meet someone nice, who treats me well, is reliable, honest and fun to be with.

http://hellogiggles.com/dating-drinking-problem/#read
http://www.drugfree.org/stories-of-hope/my-life-with-an-addict-boyfriend/

Reply 33

whorace

Original post by sunshine97

After he found out I made a new male friend, He started ranting about how girls are all players (START OF JANUARY).
?

Lol add jealous to the list. This guy gets worse and worse.

Reply 34

uzzysid

Original post by sunshine97

There's this guy friend I got really close to from first semester since starting uni.

He told me how much changed after a certain event that happened in his life. He mentioned he used to play & use girls after being heart broken, along with binge drinking & doing drugs. Since January he got back to his habit of drinking & drugs because he 'had problems' (he didn't want to tell me about).

Recently he texted me while drunk & high telling me his neighbour who he dated 'not long ago' from January to February (THIS YEAR) broke his heart by playing him. At that time he was trying to pursue someone else from my course. In the text he said I'm different from the other girls (since he can trust and connect with me better). I confessed my feelings after he asked how I felt about him.

Yesterday (when he was sober) he asked me out after asking if I was serious about him. I confronted him why he was trying to pursue another girl while he was with someone. He denied it and said he was confused because of the drugs & drinks. And he was dating his neighbour in January to February LAST YEAR instead of this THIS YEAR. Also he said he got into a problem with 2 girls from the past which came back to haunt him, which contributed to his drinking.

Can alcohol confuse/ & make you tell the truth? Is he lying to me? Is there any red flags?

What drugs is he actually using?

Reply 35

whorace

Original post by mkap

tell him your not like other girls. it will make him respect you

Respect her? He doesn't respect himself.

He's heard it before, he's always the victim, God's got it out for him.

Reply 36

thefatone

Original post by sunshine97

Lol it's a guy :mmm:

I can't blame you for thinking it's a girl.

god dammit now everyone's picking up on it xD

Reply 37

Proxenus

mate just absolutely leg it!!

Reply 38

SentryE3D

Original post by sunshine97

How does that make someone a loser though? :unsure:

Crying out for attention by doing drugs. So edgy. Lets hope it doesn't hamper his drama degree too much

Reply 39

elforjg02

Don't give all your trust to him...don't go out with him yet...if u really like him, help him stop drinking and taking drugs ASAP!! that's what u need to do first...because when someone is constantly drinking and using drugs, it's not a great sign! at all!!...and if he does improve and show improvement and actually took ur advice, then give him a chance ...why not? but if he still continues with his same old habits and chooses not to take ur advice, then I'm afraid you have to pack ur bags and run as far as you can ...because this guy could harm you considering he's on drugs..