I've always had bad experiences with men so I never tried to get into relationships so I've been having casual with quite few men, mainly happened in university when I had my own place in halls so it was easier to take men back. I had good sex with some of them but none really wanted to do anything more than that.
In my third year of uni I moved into new halls, there I met a extremely handsome man, he would attract loads of girls, I would walk in our shared living room and he would be with a girl. He was extremely polite and nice to girls so I felt attracted to him straight away. I never never had the courage to ask if he wanted to with me so I would purposely get drunk so I could, he said no because he was I was living with him.
Over that year I got to know him very well, it was so easy to talk to him and we became very open with each other so soon enough we became best of friends. I told him about my past about the men I slept and he was very understanding about it, he told not to use myself and gave me good advice. I was blown away how nice he was, never met a man so caring. When I went out with him, he asked me to help find a nice girl when he surrounded by girls. I don't think he ever realised it and was actually shyer and less,confident then i thought he was. Quite often I would drink too much and he would take me back to our halls flat, let me sleep on his bed with him. I was so desperate for him to make a move on me but never did, when i close to him I could feel he did like me but would face the othe way. He often told me he loved my body and would often say he loves my bum so i sensed he did was hiding his feelings towards me so i don't get why he didn't. I don't know its because he knows about the men I've slept with in the past.
Towards the end of the year before we both graduated I asked him if wanted to be more than friends, he said that he doesn't want a relationship based on looks but we don't have go out, he said he doesn't want to ruin the friendship. I just really like his company, since uni finished I haven't seen much of him and I don't know how to tell him. I've met other men and gone on dates but not really in to them. What am I doing wrong? Why is he saying no if we both fancy each other? What can I do to show i truely do care about him and love him?