The Student Room Group

What Happens Next?

So, I just found this image online


I have SO MANY TIMES wanted to do as the teacher does in this (I'm not in any way a teacher, the 'boy' is a mixture of cadets, at cadets where I volunteer, or people in my class mostly happened at college)

But, I never could. I fist couldn't cope with the thought of anyone knowing other than those who need to (like support services). And, the fact that if they are joking about it now they will joke even more if they know it affects me-they will want my reaction.
However, if like I did it at cadets, it would then make me leave cadets because I couldn't face knowing the people there now know, and how judged I would be.

What are your thoughts, what would happen next-would the boy stop joking and understand? would things get harder for the teacher? would they never meet again? other?

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Reply 1
Original post by dipka
So, I just found this image online


I have SO MANY TIMES wanted to do as the teacher does in this (I'm not in any way a teacher, the 'boy' is a mixture of cadets, at cadets where I volunteer, or people in my class mostly happened at college)

But, I never could. I fist couldn't cope with the thought of anyone knowing other than those who need to (like support services). And, the fact that if they are joking about it now they will joke even more if they know it affects me-they will want my reaction.
However, if like I did it at cadets, it would then make me leave cadets because I couldn't face knowing the people there now know, and how judged I would be.

What are your thoughts, what would happen next-would the boy stop joking and understand? would things get harder for the teacher? would they never meet again? other?



The image is too small I can't read it. I don't know what your on about either can you explain what you mean?
Reply 2
Original post by dipka
So, I just found this image online


I have SO MANY TIMES wanted to do as the teacher does in this (I'm not in any way a teacher, the 'boy' is a mixture of cadets, at cadets where I volunteer, or people in my class mostly happened at college)

But, I never could. I fist couldn't cope with the thought of anyone knowing other than those who need to (like support services). And, the fact that if they are joking about it now they will joke even more if they know it affects me-they will want my reaction.
However, if like I did it at cadets, it would then make me leave cadets because I couldn't face knowing the people there now know, and how judged I would be.

What are your thoughts, what would happen next-would the boy stop joking and understand? would things get harder for the teacher? would they never meet again? other?


It really depends so much on the individuals. That's on eof the difficult things when talking about mental health- it's so unpredictable.
A lot of people joke about things they don't understand. I myself joked (or at least thought of it as stupid etc) about things like self harm until I experienced it myself. Until that point I couldn't understand how somebody could be that upset that hurting themself became an option to them.
A lot of people once it is humanised and they realise it isn't just emos or other cliches will not joke anymore. Some people are just nasty though.

I'd say, if you want to speak up to them, do it without making yourself a target. If you are a voulenteer you may sugges having a meeting on understanding mental health. Maybe find a video online with somebody talking about their experiences and show it to them.

I would be very scared to open up about my personal experiences to people i know. I usually hide behind the "people i know" story if i do want to call somebody out. I do it in uni sometimes. I did once open up about ADD/ dyslexia to try to get people to understand better. Their reaction was better than expected. I find that most people are supportive, but there are still those ansty ones I wish didn't know.

Hope that helped.
Original post by dipka
So, I just found this image online


I have SO MANY TIMES wanted to do as the teacher does in this (I'm not in any way a teacher, the 'boy' is a mixture of cadets, at cadets where I volunteer, or people in my class mostly happened at college)

But, I never could. I fist couldn't cope with the thought of anyone knowing other than those who need to (like support services). And, the fact that if they are joking about it now they will joke even more if they know it affects me-they will want my reaction.
However, if like I did it at cadets, it would then make me leave cadets because I couldn't face knowing the people there now know, and how judged I would be.

What are your thoughts, what would happen next-would the boy stop joking and understand? would things get harder for the teacher? would they never meet again? other?


To be honest, I think that a person working with children/vulnerable adults needs to be super super careful with self disclosure.

Besides that. From experience, I don't think it would change them much. It takes a lot for people to change their views. Especially any discriminatory views.


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Reply 4
Original post by Thomb
The image is too small I can't read it. I don't know what your on about either can you explain what you mean?


Sorry, I thought I had put the actual picture in not a link, so I don't know what happened that it did not work.
Basically in the image it is a boy drawing on his arm making jokes about self harm. The teacher then shows the boy their cuts and tells him to stop making jokes about something he does not know about because you never know who around you does it.
Hope my post makes sense now.

Original post by Kindred
It really depends so much on the individuals. That's on eof the difficult things when talking about mental health- it's so unpredictable.
A lot of people joke about things they don't understand. I myself joked (or at least thought of it as stupid etc) about things like self harm until I experienced it myself. Until that point I couldn't understand how somebody could be that upset that hurting themself became an option to them.
A lot of people once it is humanised and they realise it isn't just emos or other cliches will not joke anymore. Some people are just nasty though.

I'd say, if you want to speak up to them, do it without making yourself a target. If you are a voulenteer you may sugges having a meeting on understanding mental health. Maybe find a video online with somebody talking about their experiences and show it to them.

I would be very scared to open up about my personal experiences to people i know. I usually hide behind the "people i know" story if i do want to call somebody out. I do it in uni sometimes. I did once open up about ADD/ dyslexia to try to get people to understand better. Their reaction was better than expected. I find that most people are supportive, but there are still those ansty ones I wish didn't know.

Hope that helped.



That is some good ideas of better ways to explain it to people-thank you. It's not happened in a while. I changed cadet units when I came to uni in September, the unit I am at now is much more sensible so things like this don't happen, so this is not that relevant to me now but that's some great ideas if anything similar ever happens in the future.

It's interesting you have experience of both sides. Meaning you used to joke about it until you started self harming. Do you mind explaining what it's like doing the joking? I've never had experience of that part and it would help me understand what the people are thinking.

Original post by bullettheory
To be honest, I think that a person working with children/vulnerable adults needs to be super super careful with self disclosure.

Besides that. From experience, I don't think it would change them much. It takes a lot for people to change their views. Especially any discriminatory views.
Posted from TSR Mobile


That's the exact reason I've never done it, I never told any of the staff at my old unit when I was a cadet, and even now as staff I won't tell them. The 'I have a skin condition so wear long sleeves' always worked so I can't see a reason it won't work in my new unit in summer when we have to roll sleeves up. I just get a few questions about the condition but I'm fine to answer and explain about it and why I don't want people to see the marks on my arms (I got bullied because of the marks from the condition, so I didn't let people see before I started self harming. Now If I'm honest even I cant tell which Is which anymore).

My experience of discrimination (from disability not self harm) thoughts is it's more a lack of understanding, that's why people joke or discriminate because they don't know anything to do anything different. So It's my want to stop this by explaining things to these people. Although you are right that some people are very set in their thoughts and will not listen and are not willing to learn or understand anymore. It just always happens that these people are always teachers.
Original post by dipka

That's the exact reason I've never done it, I never told any of the staff at my old unit when I was a cadet, and even now as staff I won't tell them. The 'I have a skin condition so wear long sleeves' always worked so I can't see a reason it won't work in my new unit in summer when we have to roll sleeves up. I just get a few questions about the condition but I'm fine to answer and explain about it and why I don't want people to see the marks on my arms (I got bullied because of the marks from the condition, so I didn't let people see before I started self harming. Now If I'm honest even I cant tell which Is which anymore).

My experience of discrimination (from disability not self harm) thoughts is it's more a lack of understanding, that's why people joke or discriminate because they don't know anything to do anything different. So It's my want to stop this by explaining things to these people. Although you are right that some people are very set in their thoughts and will not listen and are not willing to learn or understand anymore. It just always happens that these people are always teachers.


Sorry to hear about your experiences with bullying. Yes - discrimination definitely comes from a lack of understanding, and is based on a lot of false information. However, I think it is very difficult for those to change. We can educate an individual, and we may be successful, but many people learn their discriminatory attitudes through society and also more powerful means such as the media or even organisations. That is much harder to change, and as we are social animals, we feed off of society's views a lot. Even those who should know better (like you said, teachers).
Reply 6
Original post by dipka

That is some good ideas of better ways to explain it to people-thank you. It's not happened in a while. I changed cadet units when I came to uni in September, the unit I am at now is much more sensible so things like this don't happen, so this is not that relevant to me now but that's some great ideas if anything similar ever happens in the future.

It's interesting you have experience of both sides. Meaning you used to joke about it until you started self harming. Do you mind explaining what it's like doing the joking? I've never had experience of that part and it would help me understand what the people are thinking.


For me I guess i didn't really think about the context. Like you know those "a englishman, a scotsman and a welshman" jokes and you just laugh cos it's a funny scenario and don't really pay attention to the race or the "dumb blonde" jokes despite knowing that not all blonde people are dumb. It's kinda like that I guess. It's just what I was exposed to at school so it was something that was funny but i didn't really now why.

For me though I think most of the time i fell for the "it's a cry for attention" cliche and saw it like bad people taking drugs and things like that. I dont think i ever really considered the pain behind it. I guess I saw it as an alien concept which was okay to poke fun of or joke about cos it didn't really exist to me.

I like to think that I never came up with the jokes and just laughed at them cos it's what people did, but honestly i'm not sure. I never liked the "cut here" thing though so that gives me some hope that I wasn't a massive a***.

I think a lot of people go through phases they are embarassed about especially when they are young. I was easily sucked in by what others did so I ended up joking about a lot of stuff I wouldn't normally think of. I once realised that i'd been making fun of another person in my class because it's what everybody on my table was doing. Each joke just seemed like a single joke untill I looked back and realised basically every joke was at his expense and never anybody elses. I felt aweful!

I think people often joke about things that confuse or scare them too. I made a few silly jokes when relatives died cos it helped to make the situation less serious. I think some people take it too far though cos they don't realise the consequence.
Reply 7
Original post by bullettheory
Sorry to hear about your experiences with bullying. Yes - discrimination definitely comes from a lack of understanding, and is based on a lot of false information. However, I think it is very difficult for those to change. We can educate an individual, and we may be successful, but many people learn their discriminatory attitudes through society and also more powerful means such as the media or even organisations. That is much harder to change, and as we are social animals, we feed off of society's views a lot. Even those who should know better (like you said, teachers).


I think it mostly depends on how accepting someone is. Like I have no issues if people don't know about my disability, I don't know about every disability nor can I ever expect to. So if someone has never heard of It then that's fine. But, it's how willing they are to learn, adapt or include me I have issues with, and your right, you can't change that part of someone.
I do notice that the younger someone is (children, teens) the better they are at this, it's not a rule and I don't meet any elderly to know what they are like but generally it seems that way.

Original post by Kindred
For me I guess i didn't really think about the context. Like you know those "a englishman, a scotsman and a welshman" jokes and you just laugh cos it's a funny scenario and don't really pay attention to the race or the "dumb blonde" jokes despite knowing that not all blonde people are dumb. It's kinda like that I guess. It's just what I was exposed to at school so it was something that was funny but i didn't really now why.

For me though I think most of the time i fell for the "it's a cry for attention" cliche and saw it like bad people taking drugs and things like that. I dont think i ever really considered the pain behind it. I guess I saw it as an alien concept which was okay to poke fun of or joke about cos it didn't really exist to me.

I like to think that I never came up with the jokes and just laughed at them cos it's what people did, but honestly i'm not sure. I never liked the "cut here" thing though so that gives me some hope that I wasn't a massive a***.

I think a lot of people go through phases they are embarassed about especially when they are young. I was easily sucked in by what others did so I ended up joking about a lot of stuff I wouldn't normally think of. I once realised that i'd been making fun of another person in my class because it's what everybody on my table was doing. Each joke just seemed like a single joke untill I looked back and realised basically every joke was at his expense and never anybody elses. I felt aweful!

I think people often joke about things that confuse or scare them too. I made a few silly jokes when relatives died cos it helped to make the situation less serious. I think some people take it too far though cos they don't realise the consequence.



Thanks' for sharing, and it's good to know you have learnt from this now.

You said jokes make the situation or relatives dyeing less serious which I'm interested in because of something that's happened recently. Do you think that self harm is serious?
Original post by dipka
I think it mostly depends on how accepting someone is. Like I have no issues if people don't know about my disability, I don't know about every disability nor can I ever expect to. So if someone has never heard of It then that's fine. But, it's how willing they are to learn, adapt or include me I have issues with, and your right, you can't change that part of someone.
I do notice that the younger someone is (children, teens) the better they are at this, it's not a rule and I don't meet any elderly to know what they are like but generally it seems that way.


Exactly, it is just about being open minded and empathetic - you don't need to know everything.
Reply 9
Original post by dipka

Thanks' for sharing, and it's good to know you have learnt from this now.

You said jokes make the situation or relatives dyeing less serious which I'm interested in because of something that's happened recently. Do you think that self harm is serious?


I think for me it helped to have a bit of a joke when my relatives died. It just takes the edge of a little and in this case helped bring the family together a bit since it was a stressful time. I was young when my first relative died and it was a ling process. Having a little laugh made it less scary for me and I think that's what it's like even as an adult. Sometimes it can be a bit difficult to judge whats just a little joke whats too far and that's when things get difficult. I do find humour helpful though.
I hope you're doing okay what with you having a bad experience recently. :hug:

Any self harm is serious just because of where it comes from. For a person to feel like taking that step there is something wrong. Frankly even if you're doing it just to get attention, for you to want attention so badly you'd hurt yourself there must be something pretty wrong with either you or your situation.

I'll be careful here cos I don't want to go into detail about sh (site rules), but I think some instances of self harm aren't as serious as others in themselves. Like mine was never a real danger to my health or anything, but some people could put themselves at serious risk throough what they do and that is more serious than some pain and cosmetic damage. I mean if you look at it technically I still self harm cos I pick at my acne when i'm stressed. That's not a good thing to be doing, but it certinally isn't as serious as people cutting or poisoning themselves and potentially doing permanent damage. The underlying cause can still be just as serious in any case tough of course.
Reply 10
Original post by Kindred
I think for me it helped to have a bit of a joke when my relatives died. It just takes the edge of a little and in this case helped bring the family together a bit since it was a stressful time. I was young when my first relative died and it was a ling process. Having a little laugh made it less scary for me and I think that's what it's like even as an adult. Sometimes it can be a bit difficult to judge whats just a little joke whats too far and that's when things get difficult. I do find humour helpful though.
I hope you're doing okay what with you having a bad experience recently. :hug:

Any self harm is serious just because of where it comes from. For a person to feel like taking that step there is something wrong. Frankly even if you're doing it just to get attention, for you to want attention so badly you'd hurt yourself there must be something pretty wrong with either you or your situation.


I'll be careful here cos I don't want to go into detail about sh (site rules), but I think some instances of self harm aren't as serious as others in themselves. Like mine was never a real danger to my health or anything, but some people could put themselves at serious risk throough what they do and that is more serious than some pain and cosmetic damage. I mean if you look at it technically I still self harm cos I pick at my acne when i'm stressed. That's not a good thing to be doing, but it certinally isn't as serious as people cutting or poisoning themselves and potentially doing permanent damage. The underlying cause can still be just as serious in any case tough of course.


That's really nice to read-about you thinking self harm is serious. And I agree with what you say. It's good to not be the only 1.

I should explain why I asked, it's because when I was at the GP last week he said '.... long term self harm'. Which for some reason upset me quite a lot. To me it sounded just like anything else, you know like maybe long term asthma. The difference being asthma is medical, my lungs don't work, the only way to solve that is inhalers but it can't disappear.
But self harm is different, and exactly as you say whatever the reason if you want it enough to hurt yourself their must be something badly wrong. It just felt like the doctor had forgotten that because I've been doing it so long. Rather than knowing that I've been doing it so long because their has been big problems for me to have to deal with for a long time, and self harm is still the only way I have to deal with bad things.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by dipka
That's really nice to read-about you thinking self harm is serious. And I agree with what you say. It's good to not be the only 1.

I should explain why I asked, it's because when I was at the GP last week he said '.... long term self harm'. Which for some reason upset me quite a lot. To me it sounded just like anything else, you know like maybe long term asthma. The difference being asthma is medical, my lungs don't work, the only way to solve that is inhalers but it can't disappear.
But self harm is different, and exactly as you say whatever the reason if you want it enough to hurt yourself their must be something badly wrong. It just felt like the doctor had forgotten that because I've been doing it so long. Rather than knowing that I've been doing it so long because their has been big problems for me to have to deal with for a long time, and self harm is still the only way I have to deal with bad things.


I think doctors talk about mh related issues as if they are normal is partially a) because to them it kinda is where they deal with it so often and b) because they don't want to sound like they are judging you since it is a sensitive issue.
I get what you mean though.

I find it interesting you saying the difference is that it's not medical. I haven't had much of an issue with self harm (mine came and went pretty quickly) but my depression and other related conditions I always emphasised that it IS medical and not just "in my head". But I guess sh is a way of dealing with a medical issue, so I might agree with you. There is certinally an element that it is in some way your choice. You have no choice about asthma or anything, but with sh I guess you have more. Yeah you don't have a choice about what is causing it, but I guess its more sensitive because you (not specifically you btw) know that you have some level of choice in it yet still feel like you have no control. You can be judged far easier for sh than you can asthma.

I know my experience will be different to others' but I always thought of my self harm in a simmilar way to my ocd. Although I am doing it I don't really have and real choice since my head is screaming at me to do it. That said, I guess my sh could have actually been my ocd since it seems a bit different to other stories I have heard.

Anyway, what you are saying is really interesting to hear. It reminds me that despite having conditions myself I still don't necessarily know what it feels like. Gives me some reason to forgive slight ignorances about mh- if I don't fully understand it and i have it, how can I expect them to understand it all.
Reply 12
Original post by Kindred
I think doctors talk about mh related issues as if they are normal is partially a) because to them it kinda is where they deal with it so often and b) because they don't want to sound like they are judging you since it is a sensitive issue.
I get what you mean though.

I find it interesting you saying the difference is that it's not medical. I haven't had much of an issue with self harm (mine came and went pretty quickly) but my depression and other related conditions I always emphasised that it IS medical and not just "in my head". But I guess sh is a way of dealing with a medical issue, so I might agree with you. There is certinally an element that it is in some way your choice. You have no choice about asthma or anything, but with sh I guess you have more. Yeah you don't have a choice about what is causing it, but I guess its more sensitive because you (not specifically you btw) know that you have some level of choice in it yet still feel like you have no control. You can be judged far easier for sh than you can asthma.

I know my experience will be different to others' but I always thought of my self harm in a simmilar way to my ocd. Although I am doing it I don't really have and real choice since my head is screaming at me to do it. That said, I guess my sh could have actually been my ocd since it seems a bit different to other stories I have heard.

Anyway, what you are saying is really interesting to hear. It reminds me that despite having conditions myself I still don't necessarily know what it feels like. Gives me some reason to forgive slight ignorances about mh- if I don't fully understand it and i have it, how can I expect them to understand it all.



I hadn't thought of it like that, yes I suppose they must see it a lot, (him in partiqula as it's the MH GP I've now ended up with, so I guess most of his patients are about MH) but, and sorry to use the same example it's just a easy one to use, but asthma when I got diagnosed with it was serious-you know not breathing right kind of is.

I know your right, it just upset me to hear it. Probably because I'd never thought of it for myself as 'long term' I've always thought 'oh there's people done it for years, that's not me, I'm not that bad. While the other part of me knows that it is. So, I suppose overall it's making me think about it a bit differently now.

your right that sh is easier to judge than asthma, and I agree-for the reason you say that asthma you defiantly don't have a choice whereas sh is, well I will say it's less clear. I don't want to say I have complete choice to do it, but I agree that it is my fault. For example I don't have a choice to have the bad stuff that's happened to me happen (which I'm not going to repeat here, because I don't want to go check the site rules -got no idea where they are- for 1 reason, that and that no-one else needs to read it) I also don't have a choice that I was not taught how to deal with bad things. I think some people can deal with bad things better than others somehow, I get lots of bad stuff but never taught how to deal with it. Most of my sh is me shouting 'I need help, there is lots of bad stuff and I can't fix it so this is the only way to communicate please help'. I guess that's why I've always been fairly okay talking about sh because I want people to know and to help. I keep learning that it does not make people help, I just can't now stop because I still not been taught how to.

I like you with ocd defiantly have other conditions that make me more likely to sh, or maybe less able to deal with things in a better way. And those are all things I have no control or choice about.

How do you not know what it feels like to have conditions you have? or, how do you not understand conditions you have?
Original post by dipka
I hadn't thought of it like that, yes I suppose they must see it a lot, (him in partiqula as it's the MH GP I've now ended up with, so I guess most of his patients are about MH) but, and sorry to use the same example it's just a easy one to use, but asthma when I got diagnosed with it was serious-you know not breathing right kind of is.

I know your right, it just upset me to hear it. Probably because I'd never thought of it for myself as 'long term' I've always thought 'oh there's people done it for years, that's not me, I'm not that bad. While the other part of me knows that it is. So, I suppose overall it's making me think about it a bit differently now.

your right that sh is easier to judge than asthma, and I agree-for the reason you say that asthma you defiantly don't have a choice whereas sh is, well I will say it's less clear. I don't want to say I have complete choice to do it, but I agree that it is my fault. For example I don't have a choice to have the bad stuff that's happened to me happen (which I'm not going to repeat here, because I don't want to go check the site rules -got no idea where they are- for 1 reason, that and that no-one else needs to read it) I also don't have a choice that I was not taught how to deal with bad things. I think some people can deal with bad things better than others somehow, I get lots of bad stuff but never taught how to deal with it. Most of my sh is me shouting 'I need help, there is lots of bad stuff and I can't fix it so this is the only way to communicate please help'. I guess that's why I've always been fairly okay talking about sh because I want people to know and to help. I keep learning that it does not make people help, I just can't now stop because I still not been taught how to.

I like you with ocd defiantly have other conditions that make me more likely to sh, or maybe less able to deal with things in a better way. And those are all things I have no control or choice about.

How do you not know what it feels like to have conditions you have? or, how do you not understand conditions you have?


Btw, even if you'be been doing it for years yo still have hope to stop. It's difficult to see how but somehow it happens. I don't see it as peoples fault they self harm. It's just a way of reacting to what they are having to deal with so if any fault exists it's from that stuff. It's just so easy to lable it as their fault cos usually actions come with a desire to do that thing.

I'm not really sure how i know. I think a lot of it is just guessing, but talking to others kinda helps unmuddle things (I had group therapy and cbt). With the OCD it's like I get a physical-ish urge to do things. It's not thinking "I want to do..." I just sorta feel compelled. Like my hands will feel funny and keep drawing my attention until I moisturise them. It's the same with my sh. I didn't think "I want to hurt myself" I felt compelled to do that action.

I'm just curious, I know you're seeing a doc and all about it, so do you have any sort of diagnosis of a condition and are you getting any treatments?
Reply 14
Original post by Kindred
Btw, even if you'be been doing it for years yo still have hope to stop. It's difficult to see how but somehow it happens. I don't see it as peoples fault they self harm. It's just a way of reacting to what they are having to deal with so if any fault exists it's from that stuff. It's just so easy to lable it as their fault cos usually actions come with a desire to do that thing.

I'm not really sure how i know. I think a lot of it is just guessing, but talking to others kinda helps unmuddle things (I had group therapy and cbt). With the OCD it's like I get a physical-ish urge to do things. It's not thinking "I want to do..." I just sorta feel compelled. Like my hands will feel funny and keep drawing my attention until I moisturise them. It's the same with my sh. I didn't think "I want to hurt myself" I felt compelled to do that action.

I'm just curious, I know you're seeing a doc and all about it, so do you have any sort of diagnosis of a condition and are you getting any treatments?


Did you used to self harm but manage to stop? (well done if you did) but, how did you manage to?

I'm kind of the same, not thinking 'I want to' but I just end up doing it.

I don't have any diagnosis of a mh condition, just quite a bit of known history. Only MH thing I've got is sleep medicine from February.
I've got disabilities diagnosed though -Autism, Dyslexia and Dyspraxia and get help at uni for them but theirs no treatment.
Also got a load of medical conditions and various medication for them.
Original post by dipka
Did you used to self harm but manage to stop? (well done if you did) but, how did you manage to?

I'm kind of the same, not thinking 'I want to' but I just end up doing it.

I don't have any diagnosis of a mh condition, just quite a bit of known history. Only MH thing I've got is sleep medicine from February.
I've got disabilities diagnosed though -Autism, Dyslexia and Dyspraxia and get help at uni for them but theirs no treatment.
Also got a load of medical conditions and various medication for them.


SNAP! I have dyslexia too. I'm not relly sure. Mine kinda just stopped when my depression and things did. I'll occasionally still get the urge if i'm really stressed but on the whole I think i basically don't have any triggers to make me do it anymore.
Mine was never hugely serious or frequent anyway which I guess will have made it easier.

Have you ever seen a doc about the possibility of something mh? Just talking to you I can see some possible symptoms. If nothing else they may help you with the sh.

Btw it isn't how I stopped but it did help it be less serious. When I was tempted i's try something else that either wasn't sh (punching a pillow, picking at blue tack etc) or wasn't as serious as what I would do otherwise (won't give examples to be safe with site rules). Try that maybe? I'd try to make it something with a simmilar action since it was often that my body wanted to i think so I kinda tried to trick it.
Reply 16
Original post by Kindred
SNAP! I have dyslexia too. I'm not relly sure. Mine kinda just stopped when my depression and things did. I'll occasionally still get the urge if i'm really stressed but on the whole I think i basically don't have any triggers to make me do it anymore.
Mine was never hugely serious or frequent anyway which I guess will have made it easier.

Have you ever seen a doc about the possibility of something mh? Just talking to you I can see some possible symptoms. If nothing else they may help you with the sh.

Btw it isn't how I stopped but it did help it be less serious. When I was tempted i's try something else that either wasn't sh (punching a pillow, picking at blue tack etc) or wasn't as serious as what I would do otherwise (won't give examples to be safe with site rules). Try that maybe? I'd try to make it something with a simmilar action since it was often that my body wanted to i think so I kinda tried to trick it.


That's positive that it stopped for you, how did the depression stop though? or, how did you stop the triggers? There's some things you just can't avoid.

What symptoms can you see from this? and of what? I'd be interested to know what you think.

It's complicated with Doctors right now. The truthful answer is that yes I am now doing. And, I don't know how much detail of everything else to explain but he's trying to help, and it's not his fault that it is proving to be difficult.
It started in November, the nurse at uni referred me to some local therapy service, they said they can't help because they do short term stuff like 6-8weeks and they said I need something for longer. So they referred me to CMHT, went to a assessment with them, and they wouldn't help either, basically just blamed my current issues on autism...
In between all this I tried the GP for sleep, they at first would not do anything, After ending up in A&E and a letter from them the GP did give me sleep medicine, and I've been going to a GP every kind of 2 weeks since then, this was start of Febuary. I'm with the MH GP now, and he's trying to refer me back to CMHT. Last time I went he had no news, and neither did I, so it's just waiting now. I just doubt even with a GP letter that the CMHT will do anything-like what can a GP do in a letter that the first therapy service in their letter can't? So, I am expecting to end up stuck- it happens a lot. But, I will see what happenes. I'm annoyed with this waiting because I have waited for the CMHT once already, so this is really unfair now...


I've tried all those kind of things before, I ended up in CAMHS (via many other organisations first!) because school could not deal with my self harming. They diagnosed me with autism, and then they explained it the best anyone ever has. That I self harm because I live in a very confusing world that I can't understand or have any choice about, and that once I am around people that understand me and what my needs are and so do what I need it will be less confusing and more understood and I will stop. That has never happened, so I still do it.
I can't change people not understanding me, and I can't avoid these people either.
Original post by dipka
That's positive that it stopped for you, how did the depression stop though? or, how did you stop the triggers? There's some things you just can't avoid.

What symptoms can you see from this? and of what? I'd be interested to know what you think.

It's complicated with Doctors right now. The truthful answer is that yes I am now doing. And, I don't know how much detail of everything else to explain but he's trying to help, and it's not his fault that it is proving to be difficult.
It started in November, the nurse at uni referred me to some local therapy service, they said they can't help because they do short term stuff like 6-8weeks and they said I need something for longer. So they referred me to CMHT, went to a assessment with them, and they wouldn't help either, basically just blamed my current issues on autism...
In between all this I tried the GP for sleep, they at first would not do anything, After ending up in A&E and a letter from them the GP did give me sleep medicine, and I've been going to a GP every kind of 2 weeks since then, this was start of Febuary. I'm with the MH GP now, and he's trying to refer me back to CMHT. Last time I went he had no news, and neither did I, so it's just waiting now. I just doubt even with a GP letter that the CMHT will do anything-like what can a GP do in a letter that the first therapy service in their letter can't? So, I am expecting to end up stuck- it happens a lot. But, I will see what happenes. I'm annoyed with this waiting because I have waited for the CMHT once already, so this is really unfair now...


I've tried all those kind of things before, I ended up in CAMHS (via many other organisations first!) because school could not deal with my self harming. They diagnosed me with autism, and then they explained it the best anyone ever has. That I self harm because I live in a very confusing world that I can't understand or have any choice about, and that once I am around people that understand me and what my needs are and so do what I need it will be less confusing and more understood and I will stop. That has never happened, so I still do it.
I can't change people not understanding me, and I can't avoid these people either.


My depression stopped with meds and therapy (grouptherapy was probably the best for me). Some of the triggers have stopped cos i'm not depressed anymore, some because I know different people who don't trigger me, some are still here but i'm more capable of dealing with it cos theres less going on. I also did CBT therapy which helped me understand my thoughts and emotions a bit more which I think has helped me to deal with situations like that when they come up. You can look at cbt online btw. Not as good as the full therapy experience, but it's something. My doc told me about "moodgym".

You really do sound like you're in a tough situation. I can see how autism would make it more complicated too cos obviously it is contributing but that doesn't mean there s nothing else going on and certinally doesn't mean you don't need help. Are there no special needs services (like an adult camhs or something) that could help?
Anything mh or special needs gets so complicated. I'm really lucky I managed to be seen on my dad's insurance and avoid a lot of that mess.

There isn't a lot you can do about the world and how difficult it is for you, but there ar some little things you could try. It won't stop things but it could help a bit.
I'm basig this on my ocd and add and a bit of knowledge from working with kids so it won't necessarily all be right fo you, but you could give it a go.

I take noise canceling headphones out with me so I can distract myself in stressful situations and have a game on my phone a bit like taptap revenge which I use if i get restless. I have a few basic comforts with me (like how kids have their blankets or toys i guess) if i know i'm going into a really stressful environment like a hospital.
I still get occasional ocd triggers so I take moisturiser with me wherever I go (my hands feel nasty as part of my ocd but that helps it).
I'm more aware now of what things I find difficult and why and it helps me either avoid it or not get so worked up about it. So I don't do well with people in my space cos I hear all of what they are doing= headphones. I find conversations with multiple people confusing cos I can't follow= I know why and that it's just how my brain works so it doesn't bother me as much anymore.

Good luck with getting to see somebody. Don't be afraid to throw your weight around a little and make it clear that you need help.
Reply 18
Original post by Kindred
My depression stopped with meds and therapy (grouptherapy was probably the best for me). Some of the triggers have stopped cos i'm not depressed anymore, some because I know different people who don't trigger me, some are still here but i'm more capable of dealing with it cos theres less going on. I also did CBT therapy which helped me understand my thoughts and emotions a bit more which I think has helped me to deal with situations like that when they come up. You can look at cbt online btw. Not as good as the full therapy experience, but it's something. My doc told me about "moodgym".

You really do sound like you're in a tough situation. I can see how autism would make it more complicated too cos obviously it is contributing but that doesn't mean there s nothing else going on and certinally doesn't mean you don't need help. Are there no special needs services (like an adult camhs or something) that could help?
Anything mh or special needs gets so complicated. I'm really lucky I managed to be seen on my dad's insurance and avoid a lot of that mess.

There isn't a lot you can do about the world and how difficult it is for you, but there ar some little things you could try. It won't stop things but it could help a bit.
I'm basig this on my ocd and add and a bit of knowledge from working with kids so it won't necessarily all be right fo you, but you could give it a go.

I take noise canceling headphones out with me so I can distract myself in stressful situations and have a game on my phone a bit like taptap revenge which I use if i get restless. I have a few basic comforts with me (like how kids have their blankets or toys i guess) if i know i'm going into a really stressful environment like a hospital.
I still get occasional ocd triggers so I take moisturiser with me wherever I go (my hands feel nasty as part of my ocd but that helps it).
I'm more aware now of what things I find difficult and why and it helps me either avoid it or not get so worked up about it. So I don't do well with people in my space cos I hear all of what they are doing= headphones. I find conversations with multiple people confusing cos I can't follow= I know why and that it's just how my brain works so it doesn't bother me as much anymore.

Good luck with getting to see somebody. Don't be afraid to throw your weight around a little and make it clear that you need help.


There's been a lot of change in the past few days since the last replies

On Monday my mum got a phone call (I don't have a phone, can't use them) saying that I have a appointment at CMHT tomorrow/Tuesday 3:30. She told me that night via facebook. Not much warning or time to prepare, but yeh I went and seen the same person I saw the 1st time-so at least they didn't do the big long assessment again. She asked a few questions, like the 'are you safe' type ones, or if anything has changed since I was there in January. Their was then I think 3 main points she said, in no real order:
1-I am going to get assigned to her, and go to her regularly I think. got another appointment 3rd May when she back of holiday.
2-Go to GP as soon as possible to get medication. She didn't say what type of medication or anything useful, or explain like how it works, why I am getting it etc.. All she said was that it's not usually recommended for younger people so I'm like, well why am I getting it then, and how does telling me that help? now I think I'm, well maybe not appropriate to say. And I'm confused, for weeks/month the GP been saying he wont do any treatment or medicine until I been to CMHT, now all they said is go to GP to get it.
Anyway, I have managed to get a GP appointment tomorrow so hopefully he will explain things better, and I've been looking for general info online which is helping.
3-Also suggesting some kind of support worker. This is only a suggestion because she needs to ask her manager so I don't know much more but I think they will do stuff like get me going out places like a café or park.

What is group therapy? I doubt I will ever get it but I'm curious, is it they put a group of people with similar condition/issues together so you all get the same treatment and can like see how the others are doing. Or more something about getting you to be social.
I keep seeing it say CBT when looking at things online, I'm at the moment thinking I wont end up with therapy because of autism, or as all the websites say you should get therapy first then medication, and not medication without therapy too. I'm clearly one of the few times they don't do that.

Is their a adult camhs? I don't know. I have now started to think that CMHT is the adult equivalent of CMAHS but I don't actually know? But, they are both In between GP/counsellor and being a impatient at hospital just the 2 different ages-so I assume they are similar somehow.

I have those headphones, and I call them 'fidget toys' but it's the same as you, and also have a weighted gilet.

Thank you for carrying on to reply to me.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by dipka
There's been a lot of change in the past few days since the last replies

On Monday my mum got a phone call (I don't have a phone, can't use them) saying that I have a appointment at CMHT tomorrow/Tuesday 3:30. She told me that night via facebook. Not much warning or time to prepare, but yeh I went and seen the same person I saw the 1st time-so at least they didn't do the big long assessment again. She asked a few questions, like the 'are you safe' type ones, or if anything has changed since I was there in January. Their was then I think 3 main points she said, in no real order:
1-I am going to get assigned to her, and go to her regularly I think. got another appointment 3rd May when she back of holiday.
2-Go to GP as soon as possible to get medication. She didn't say what type of medication or anything useful, or explain like how it works, why I am getting it etc.. All she said was that it's not usually recommended for younger people so I'm like, well why am I getting it then, and how does telling me that help? now I think I'm, well maybe not appropriate to say. And I'm confused, for weeks/month the GP been saying he wont do any treatment or medicine until I been to CMHT, now all they said is go to GP to get it.
Anyway, I have managed to get a GP appointment tomorrow so hopefully he will explain things better, and I've been looking for general info online which is helping.
3-Also suggesting some kind of support worker. This is only a suggestion because she needs to ask her manager so I don't know much more but I think they will do stuff like get me going out places like a café or park.

What is group therapy? I doubt I will ever get it but I'm curious, is it they put a group of people with similar condition/issues together so you all get the same treatment and can like see how the others are doing. Or more something about getting you to be social.
I keep seeing it say CBT when looking at things online, I'm at the moment thinking I wont end up with therapy because of autism, or as all the websites say you should get therapy first then medication, and not medication without therapy too. I'm clearly one of the few times they don't do that.

Is their a adult camhs? I don't know. I have now started to think that CMHT is the adult equivalent of CMAHS but I don't actually know? But, they are both In between GP/counsellor and being a impatient at hospital just the 2 different ages-so I assume they are similar somehow.

I have those headphones, and I call them 'fidget toys' but it's the same as you, and also have a weighted gilet.

Thank you for carrying on to reply to me.


Sounds like CMHT is the adult equivalant. I bipassed all the nhs stuff through private so I wouldn't really know.

Sounds like you're finally on the right track. Your cmht lady or (if you get one) support worker would be a little bit like therapy and will be able to work all that out with you, but they probably want to get you on meds asap. I went on meds while the therapy side was being sorted.

Group therapy is basically like therapy school from my experience. I went to therapy in a hospital where some people lived and some just came for their sessions. It will be a bit different from place to place, but this is my experience:
You have your 1to1 sessions with somebody who basically just tracs your progress and then group sessions. Group sessions are a small-ish group of people in a veguely simmilar situation and a therapist. In most, the therapist will to a bit of an intro and then open up to discussion. Some have more of a theme (like art and drama ones or CBT and some are more just talking). For me it was in a hospital and I spent the day a few times each week and had lunch there (so like school). It was great for me cos I got to socialise with people who were in a rough patch too and in a supportive environmnt. I even went out with a couple of the people I met there once so that was really nice.

I'd ask about therapy when you see people if it's something you're interested in.

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