Was it unreasonable when my ex gf gave me silent treatment when i couldnt get it up?

This was a problem I had with my ex gf which I never understood.
We'd have foreplay in bed and id either not be able to get it up, or not be able to sustain it. Instead of comforting me or go to sleep giving me a reassuring cuddle, she'd turn on her side facing away, in a mood, and give me the silent treatment all night.
I told her how **** that made me feel but she'd do it again and again. It was like she wanted to get revenge - like she was trying to punish me for something which i had no control over and which already made me feel ****.
Any experience with this on either side? Was she justified acting this way, because it felt spiteful and inconsiderate from my point of view

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I cant say this has ever happened to me. But as a girl, in her situation I would probably feel like you weren't attracted to me and that's why you couldn't get it up, which may be why she stropped because she was annoyed at that. Even though it is pretty much out of your control and you shouldn't be blamed; which she should have understood.
Not that it should even matter to you any more, considering she is your EX girlfriend.

Reply 2

claireestelle

22

Original post by Anonymous

This was a problem I had with my ex gf which I never understood.
We'd have foreplay in bed and id either not be able to get it up, or not be able to sustain it. Instead of comforting me or go to sleep giving me a reassuring cuddle, she'd turn on her side facing away, in a mood, and give me the silent treatment all night.
I told her how **** that made me feel but she'd do it again and again. It was like she wanted to get revenge - like she was trying to punish me for something which i had no control over and which already made me feel ****.
Any experience with this on either side? Was she justified acting this way, because it felt spiteful and inconsiderate from my point of view

I dont think that was justified, that was completely unsupportive of her.

Reply 3

unprinted

19

Obviously it's not reasonable.

Some partners take it as a personal failing or insult if their boyfriend doesn't get or keep an erection, and this may be what happened here.

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

Why couldnt you get it up? were you tired/drunk/stressed? did you ask her to suck it for you?

Reply 5

Lampshayde

Honestly sometimes I just didn't feel physically attracted to her, but attracted to her in every other way. It's very difficult to describe what it was like.
I was also nervous and I felt like there was major pressure on me to get it right after each time she gave me the silent treatment.

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Reply 6

Anonymous #4

yes that is totally unreasonable. anyone that makes you feel uncomfortable about sex is being unreasonable. there is never any need to treat someone like that over something which they are probably already embarrassed about. if she had been having difficulty with something and you had done the same she probably would have gone ape so its hardly fair.