My Girlfriend went to the cinema with another guy
Hi Everyone,
So i realise this is going to come off as a really jealous boyfriend and i'm really trying not to be that guy. But last night my girlfriend went to the cinema with another guy and it has really gotten to me.We've been together for a few months and shes gone back home for Easter break, so its turned into long distance again, shes from abroad. And i knew she was going to the cinema tonight, i just didn't know who and didn't give it much thought, only that i was jealous that she was going to see the new Deadpool and i've yet to watch it lol.
Anyway, she calls me when she gets back before bed like usual and proceeds to tell me about her and her friend going to the cinema etc giving no indication about the gender of this friend. It wasn't until she mentioned talking in his car for a while after the film when he drove her back did I find out it was a guy she went to the cinema with.
Now i cant shake the feeling of not being comfortable with the whole thing. I know i cant choose who my girlfriend hangs out with and should be comfortable with her hanging out with guys and girls. but just the fact it was to the cinema, which to me is quite a intimate setting, e.g. dark, just them two etc. and then sat in the car for a while talking when she got back i just cant swallow. As soon as she said sat in the car and talked she mentioned because you cant really catch up with a friend in the cinema which is fair enough.
Anyway, am i overthinking this and my insecurity taking over? How do you guys feel about your girlfriends going to the cinema with a guy?Cheers
So i realise this is going to come off as a really jealous boyfriend and i'm really trying not to be that guy. But last night my girlfriend went to the cinema with another guy and it has really gotten to me.We've been together for a few months and shes gone back home for Easter break, so its turned into long distance again, shes from abroad. And i knew she was going to the cinema tonight, i just didn't know who and didn't give it much thought, only that i was jealous that she was going to see the new Deadpool and i've yet to watch it lol.
Anyway, she calls me when she gets back before bed like usual and proceeds to tell me about her and her friend going to the cinema etc giving no indication about the gender of this friend. It wasn't until she mentioned talking in his car for a while after the film when he drove her back did I find out it was a guy she went to the cinema with.
Now i cant shake the feeling of not being comfortable with the whole thing. I know i cant choose who my girlfriend hangs out with and should be comfortable with her hanging out with guys and girls. but just the fact it was to the cinema, which to me is quite a intimate setting, e.g. dark, just them two etc. and then sat in the car for a while talking when she got back i just cant swallow. As soon as she said sat in the car and talked she mentioned because you cant really catch up with a friend in the cinema which is fair enough.
Anyway, am i overthinking this and my insecurity taking over? How do you guys feel about your girlfriends going to the cinema with a guy?Cheers
(edited 8 years ago)
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Oh how I love 03:00AM TSR. How about threesome? 
Spoiler
Original post by trm1
n/a
Then she might also be another man's girlfriend.
Original post by d1ck
??????
Spoiler
tsr was messing up... dont know why it didnt post the message but it should be up now
I've known girls who have had boyfriends but also a guy best friend (or older/younger brother type friend) that they hung out with and that the boyfriends understood weren't a threat. I would probably just talk to her but try not to sound as if you're accusing her of anything.
no that's not jealousy, that a bit of a red light in my opinion - we guys are always attracted to girls even those that we label "just our friends" - that's how we are. for example, what were you other than "just a friend" before you and your girlfriend became an official couple? was this at the same time one of you was going out with another person? that's the thing - it always starts as "just friends" and more and more goes on later
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by trm1
Hi Everyone,
So i realise this is going to come off as a really jealous boyfriend and i'm really trying not to be that guy. But last night my girlfriend went to the cinema with another guy and it has really gotten to me.We've been together for a few months and shes gone back home for Easter break, so its turned into long distance again, shes from abroad. And i knew she was going to the cinema tonight, i just didn't know who and didn't give it much thought, only that i was jealous that she was going to see the new Deadpool and i've yet to watch it lol.
Anyway, she calls me when she gets back before bed like usual and proceeds to tell me about her and her friend going to the cinema etc giving no indication about the gender of this friend. It wasn't until she mentioned talking in his car for a while after the film when he drove her back did I find out it was a guy she went to the cinema with.
Now i cant shake the feeling of not being comfortable with the whole thing. I know i cant choose who my girlfriend hangs out with and should be comfortable with her hanging out with guys and girls. but just the fact it was to the cinema, which to me is quite a intimate setting, e.g. dark, just them two etc. and then sat in the car for a while talking when she got back i just cant swallow. As soon as she said sat in the car and talked she mentioned because you cant really catch up with a friend in the cinema which is fair enough.
Anyway, am i overthinking this and my insecurity taking over? How do you guys feel about your girlfriends going to the cinema with a guy?Cheers
So i realise this is going to come off as a really jealous boyfriend and i'm really trying not to be that guy. But last night my girlfriend went to the cinema with another guy and it has really gotten to me.We've been together for a few months and shes gone back home for Easter break, so its turned into long distance again, shes from abroad. And i knew she was going to the cinema tonight, i just didn't know who and didn't give it much thought, only that i was jealous that she was going to see the new Deadpool and i've yet to watch it lol.
Anyway, she calls me when she gets back before bed like usual and proceeds to tell me about her and her friend going to the cinema etc giving no indication about the gender of this friend. It wasn't until she mentioned talking in his car for a while after the film when he drove her back did I find out it was a guy she went to the cinema with.
Now i cant shake the feeling of not being comfortable with the whole thing. I know i cant choose who my girlfriend hangs out with and should be comfortable with her hanging out with guys and girls. but just the fact it was to the cinema, which to me is quite a intimate setting, e.g. dark, just them two etc. and then sat in the car for a while talking when she got back i just cant swallow. As soon as she said sat in the car and talked she mentioned because you cant really catch up with a friend in the cinema which is fair enough.
Anyway, am i overthinking this and my insecurity taking over? How do you guys feel about your girlfriends going to the cinema with a guy?Cheers
What's the big deal? Unless there's something you aren't telling us that you have suspicions about her or something she's done in the past it will be harmless. Don't worry about it. I go to the cinema with guys all the time and nothing ever happens. If I did have a boyfriend who stopped it you can be sure he would be getting dumped for being over controlling and insecure
Personally i really dont see a problem with it. I wouldn't bat an eyelid if my boyfriend went to the cinema with a female friend, i trust him completely. I also know he would be fine with it the other way round.
I can sort of understand why it makes you feel insecure and i would suggest bringing it up with your girlfriend and talking it through if it bothers you that much (but try to just be logical first instead of thinking emotionally). DO NOT accuse her of anything or try and make her think it's wrong, because it's not. Maybe it's because she didn't tell you straight away that it was a guy so it made you feel like she was hiding something? I dont know.
I would be fine with my boyfriend bringing something like this up and saying he feels insecure about it, because we could talk it through. Once she explains more maybe that he is an old friend, reinforces that it is completely platonic, just a catch up etc it should make you feel better.
What i would absolutely not be okay with is if he didnt want me to do it again or accused me of anything, as the trust would be broken.
Also, whether this guy fancies her or not is completely irrelevant. If you trust her it shouldnt matter.
I can sort of understand why it makes you feel insecure and i would suggest bringing it up with your girlfriend and talking it through if it bothers you that much (but try to just be logical first instead of thinking emotionally). DO NOT accuse her of anything or try and make her think it's wrong, because it's not. Maybe it's because she didn't tell you straight away that it was a guy so it made you feel like she was hiding something? I dont know.
I would be fine with my boyfriend bringing something like this up and saying he feels insecure about it, because we could talk it through. Once she explains more maybe that he is an old friend, reinforces that it is completely platonic, just a catch up etc it should make you feel better.
What i would absolutely not be okay with is if he didnt want me to do it again or accused me of anything, as the trust would be broken.
Also, whether this guy fancies her or not is completely irrelevant. If you trust her it shouldnt matter.
(edited 8 years ago)
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Sorry mate
Original post by trm1
x
Hang in there bud for all you know, that guy could be gay.
My boyfriend went to the cinema with a girl that used to have a massive crush on him on... Thursday? Yeah, Thursday. I wasn't too happy about it, but these things happen when your SO has more lady friends than appendages. :/ Just weigh up how you feel, and maybe tell her? Say you'd like to be in the loop when these sorts of things happen, or offer to take her to more films yourself. I'm sure it'll work out, dear. 
Here are your options OP:
1. Get over it.
2. Break up with her.
Eh, I'd probably let it slide, unless she starts seeing this guy a lot, in which case it's probably a warning sign.
1. Get over it.
2. Break up with her.
Eh, I'd probably let it slide, unless she starts seeing this guy a lot, in which case it's probably a warning sign.
Original post by trm1
Hi Everyone,
So i realise this is going to come off as a really jealous boyfriend and i'm really trying not to be that guy. But last night my girlfriend went to the cinema with another guy and it has really gotten to me.We've been together for a few months and shes gone back home for Easter break, so its turned into long distance again, shes from abroad. And i knew she was going to the cinema tonight, i just didn't know who and didn't give it much thought, only that i was jealous that she was going to see the new Deadpool and i've yet to watch it lol.
Anyway, she calls me when she gets back before bed like usual and proceeds to tell me about her and her friend going to the cinema etc giving no indication about the gender of this friend. It wasn't until she mentioned talking in his car for a while after the film when he drove her back did I find out it was a guy she went to the cinema with.
Now i cant shake the feeling of not being comfortable with the whole thing. I know i cant choose who my girlfriend hangs out with and should be comfortable with her hanging out with guys and girls. but just the fact it was to the cinema, which to me is quite a intimate setting, e.g. dark, just them two etc. and then sat in the car for a while talking when she got back i just cant swallow. As soon as she said sat in the car and talked she mentioned because you cant really catch up with a friend in the cinema which is fair enough.
Anyway, am i overthinking this and my insecurity taking over? How do you guys feel about your girlfriends going to the cinema with a guy?Cheers
So i realise this is going to come off as a really jealous boyfriend and i'm really trying not to be that guy. But last night my girlfriend went to the cinema with another guy and it has really gotten to me.We've been together for a few months and shes gone back home for Easter break, so its turned into long distance again, shes from abroad. And i knew she was going to the cinema tonight, i just didn't know who and didn't give it much thought, only that i was jealous that she was going to see the new Deadpool and i've yet to watch it lol.
Anyway, she calls me when she gets back before bed like usual and proceeds to tell me about her and her friend going to the cinema etc giving no indication about the gender of this friend. It wasn't until she mentioned talking in his car for a while after the film when he drove her back did I find out it was a guy she went to the cinema with.
Now i cant shake the feeling of not being comfortable with the whole thing. I know i cant choose who my girlfriend hangs out with and should be comfortable with her hanging out with guys and girls. but just the fact it was to the cinema, which to me is quite a intimate setting, e.g. dark, just them two etc. and then sat in the car for a while talking when she got back i just cant swallow. As soon as she said sat in the car and talked she mentioned because you cant really catch up with a friend in the cinema which is fair enough.
Anyway, am i overthinking this and my insecurity taking over? How do you guys feel about your girlfriends going to the cinema with a guy?Cheers
I think you're overthinking it. I can't see the problem of your girlfriend having friends who are male, you'll just have to trust her with these things.
This is such a straight person problem. So she's not allowed to have friends of the opposite sex and hang out with them either? I'd say get over it to be honest or talk to her if it's bothering you that much. It sounds like you have the trust issue.
I think it is okay to be cautious about this sort of stuff, it helps to show that you care. But trust has to be there between the both of you and its important to have a life outside of each other
Original post by John55
The best way to keep a woman in check is to hire a professional stalker to murder any man/suspected lesbian who so much as makes eye contact with her.
Good on you for acknowledging the possibility of an LGBT affair
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