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How would you deal with a random guy if he approaches you out of the blue

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Just out of interest how would you like a guy to approach you, if you would ever? I never go up to a random girl (except at a nightclub). Usually I befriend the person first and get to know them but that leaves me open to being friendzoned...
Original post by FireFreezer77
Yikes that's a lot of people! More than I was expecting.
It does sound a bit weird now then.
If he's older then it's more likely than not that he's had some experience, not had any luck and is now getting a bit desperate to find someone who likes him back.
He'll probably do it to another girl when you tell him.


Yeah it is a massive uni! Yeah you are right, he's also not born and bred in the UK. Weird indeed.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah it is a massive uni! Yeah you are right, he's also not born and bred in the UK. Weird indeed.


That would explain a lot. I know people who aren't from here who are always going after girls. It's like they have an addiction! Really creepy if ya ask me.
They even interrupted me when I was talking to my crush in yr11 at school. Just came and put their arm around her. She punched them!
Original post by Greatleysteg
Oh my God! I'd think it was pretty desperate too if a complete stranger walked up and came on my face.

After that, I really think you do need to reject him. What will he do next?!


Who knows. I deactivated fb so he doesn't find me. I'm thinking back and I couldn't believe what happened! I was in such an awkward position. I've marked his email as spam so I don't put up with anymore of him.
Original post by FireFreezer77
That would explain a lot. I know people who aren't from here who are always going after girls. It's like they have an addiction! Really creepy if ya ask me.
They even interrupted me when I was talking to my crush in yr11 at school. Just came and put their arm around her. She punched them!


Really? That's so bad! Yeah I would run for the hills tbh. They all look dodgy to me. Thinking about it makes me wince. In the future I will put them in their place.
Original post by Anonymous
Really? That's so bad! Yeah I would run for the hills tbh. They all look dodgy to me. Thinking about it makes me wince. In the future I will put them in their place.


Yeah, isn't wasn't great. I laughed when she punched them though (I didn't like him before that).
They look dodgy to me too.
You do that, you don't want to be with someone like that!
Reply 46
Avatar for whorace
whorace
2
Original post by Greatleysteg
Oh my God! I'd think it was pretty desperate too if a complete stranger walked up and came on my face.

After that, I really think you do need to reject him. What will he do next?!


Lol she didn't get the joke.

OP he was joking about the words you used.
Original post by Anonymous
I wish it was that simple. Some men don't take no for an answer and insist that they want to be just "friends"


Well there's a chance chance that he does?
why are you being so petty?
you've just told us you have no interest in him, so why even be nice? you are just perpetuating your own annoyance with him via this approach
I don't understand this approach at all - it's so schizophrenic - either do one thing or the other
if you don't want him to keep talking, why are you doing this to yourself?
why does he deserve your niceness if he is irritating you? I don't get it
and rejecting somebody isn't necessarily mean - it just has to happen, or else you are victimising yourself. either be "nice" and talk to him, or don't be, and don't talk to him. there's little inbetween your choices.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by whorace
Lol she didn't get the joke.

OP he was joking about the words you used.


ROFL

Tbh it's only natural that I feel creeped out by some men who come way too strong on girls they haven't even seen before.
Original post by AlmightyJesus
why are you being so petty?
you've just told us you have no interest in him, so why even be nice? you are just perpetuating your own annoyance with him via this approach
I don't understand this approach at all - it's so schizophrenic - either do one thing or the other
if you don't want him to keep talking, why are you doing this to yourself?
why does he deserve your niceness if he is irritating you? I don't get it
and rejecting somebody isn't necessarily mean - it just has to happen, or else you are victimising yourself. either be "nice" and talk to him, or don't be, and don't talk to him. there's little inbetween your choices.


I don't have a problem rejecting people, the problem arises when they become clingy and don't want to accept the rejection. I just need to be more blunt. Because rejecting someone nicely doesn't always work.
I think he's getting the idea of still being in with the chance to hook up with you if you keep pretending to be passive, just say No. By the way this is going he seems to be the one in charge.Just tell him your not interested.
or get one of your mates to do the talking for you.
Original post by Anonymous
He did sound serious, he's a FOB and it put me off how he barely saw me and was asking me qs like what my name is and what I study...just off putting


Im with the thanks, but no thanks group. The fact he persisted on being pushy asking questions sends alarm bells and he lacks awareness. That means you cna be more assertive, ask him to desist and just walk off.

If he annoys you then just tell him to stop and levae you alone and if he doesnt youll report him. . Dont respond to any messages. I think some of it is because of fob.
(edited 8 years ago)
Reply 53
Avatar for 41b
41b
5
Original post by Anonymous
The thing is I was walking up and he came right on my face! It's not like it was a crush. It came off as desperate. I gave him my name and he found me on my uni email and messaged me, i just can't bring myself up to reject someone..it gets overwhelming!


You don't even know him. He could be the love for your life. Go on a date or two with him, what will you lose?
Original post by 999tigger
Im with the thanks, but no thanks group. The fact he persisted on being pushy asking questions sends alarm bells and he lacks awareness. That means you cna be more assertive, ask him to desist and just walk off.

If he annoys you then just tell him to stop and levae you alone and if he doesnt youll report him. . Dont respond to any messages. I think some of it is because of fob.


Thank you for this great advice!
Original post by Anonymous
I don't have a problem rejecting people, the problem arises when they become clingy and don't want to accept the rejection. I just need to be more blunt. Because rejecting someone nicely doesn't always work.


if rejecting them nicely doesn't work, then they only have themselves to blame if you have to resort to not being nice about it though - again, stand up for yourself here - if this meant that much to you then you wouldn't have a problem
Reply 56
Avatar for 41b
41b
5
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you for this great advice!


This is ridiculous advice. Threatening to report someone because they message you a few times is what histrionic/crazy people do.
I think whats taken you aback is you arent used to succh bare faced persistence and so it sends you into a bit of a fluster when someone doesnt follow basic conventions. I think its cultural for him if he's a fob, so he's programmed to do this becayse he thinks he can wear you down.

Youve seen him before, youve refused him before. Now id just be annoyed. You need more assertiveness. Do not be reluctant to reporting himas you have given him his chance and he doesnt have the right to harass you. Take a pick off him if need be. It cna be quite stressful, so dont put up with it becayse he will carry on.

If you get worried then just ask other students or a member of staff and tell them he wont leave you alone and cna you walk with them. he will get the message eventually or he cna deal with his department, the stydents union or the police.
Original post by AlmightyJesus
if rejecting them nicely doesn't work, then they only have themselves to blame if you have to resort to not being nice about it though - again, stand up for yourself here - if this meant that much to you then you wouldn't have a problem


Yeah I need to work on being blunt. I have social anxiety, so it doesn't come naturally! I'll get there! :biggrin:
Original post by 41b
This is ridiculous advice. Threatening to report someone because they message you a few times is what histrionic/crazy people do.


Peristing and ignoring someones wishes is what creepy stalky men do.

If she had made it clear she doesnt wnat his attention and he persists then it becomes harassment. Its her choice who she spends time with and she isnt interested. Respect her choice to choose.

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