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I'm more than just a number - Story of a french med student who failed and raised up

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Original post by davros1996
Damn, I had no idea they did all the exams in one day, that's rough :/
Well done on another great post, as always looking forward to the follow up :smile:
And kudos to you for getting through that kind of exam stress, it sounds absolutely brutal


It was ><
Thanks for reading :h:

And thanks , I appreciate it ^-^ :hugs: :hugs: :heart:
Bonjouuuuur :3 ! Part 5 !

Firstly, thank you. Because you read, and you're interested, and I can certify that I feel better today than I was the day I started the blog. You are amazing :heart:

So ! Part 5 is about getting back to school, and waiting the results + results day.

Getting back to school !
After 3 weeks of amaziiiiiing holidays -errm I mean 3 weeks of sleeping - I came back to school for semester 2 ! Semester 2 of this year was awesome, I'll tell you about it, but I made AMAZING friends for life. And this is for such things that I'll never regret my experience in a french med school ^__^ !
You need to know that the result day is almost 2 weeks after getting back to school, and waiting for it is awful lol ! For semester 2 I decided to change everything !

I was not skipping lessons anymore - okay, at the start at least haha - , and I decided to work at the library, and I was determined to eat and sleep well this time. I was following my anemia treatment and I was feeling good, I totally recovered from my semester 1. This was a new start and it was amazing because even if I was waiting for the results, I felt like this time, everything would be fine. I was going at lessons in the morning and at the library after, until 8/9pm. Then I was working in the public transports a bit on my way home, and back home I was not working anymore.
In the morning I was getting up at 7, I was eating and sleeping really well. Everything was fine. I didn't met the friends I was talking about yet, I was going to the library with an other friend, V (I known her since I was 12) and it was great. Anyway, I enjoyed these 2 weeks ^.^

Result day !
This result day is not the result day I talked in one of my post - when I was 529th - because I had to retake my year remember ? When I was 529th it was at my second try.
So what happened this day ?
Results were supposed to come online at 9 am, but there was a bug and I could not wait anymore so I decided to call V to go to the school with her to see the results there. (Because all the results are displayed at the school before they come online).
We went to school. And I saw all those people crying in the hall, some were crying because they were happy, some because they were disappointed .. It was really disturbing, this day was properly awful it's a bad memory.
I was stressed and it just stressed me out a bit more.Well, the worst part it that the results are displayed this way : from 1 to 2500, you just have to look for your ID number .. to find your place in the rating .. (There is no names) but it's freaking horrible because you start at 1, and you look for your number .. God it's horrible xD !
To be honest, I could not.
I just stayed in front of all the numbers, 10 minutes, and I don't even know what I was waiting for, and V was already looking for her number. Then , someone shouted "online online !!!! Everyone online ! They're finally avalaible !"
It was a blessing, because I didn't want to search for my number in the wall.I went in the stairs, to be alone, and I just signed up on the site.
I was a bit stressed, and I was starting to think I would not be in the 331 , but I thought I could use the semester 2 to try to reach them.
...

1217th.

...

...

...

I have nothing to say, because I didn't had ANY reaction.
I just get up, and called V. When I found her she was crying. She told me one word "1370th". It was terrible because crying because of a number is crazy, isn't it ? I didn't cry, she thought I was in the 331.
She asked "combien ?" ( literally "how many" but it means something like "what's your number" , and I just said "1217". She was shocked, she thought I would be crying, she knew how much I worked for it. And she didn't work as much as I did, you know what ?
At the moment I think I became a psychopath, like really, I didn't feel anything and it was really weird.
I called mum to tell her, and she was like "it's okay you'll succeed next year" (because when you're after 450, you can't use the semester 2 to gain places and succeed, you are too far from 331) After that, we just went back home. I was home alone, except my cat was there. I just sat in my bed.
And I tried to feel something. I couldn't feel anything ! I think it was because of the shock , because I excepted better.
And finally, after like, 20 min ?
I strated crying.
You know what ? I was not sad, I just felt like I wanted to cry, I needed to do something.
My cat came to me, and I hugged him and talked to him - now all TSR know I talk to my cat. Now I started I can tell the truth : he's my son. Don't judge. - I told him "why ?"
And I don't even know if I expected an answer, I told you I felt like I had to do something. I took my day off.
I was at my desk all day, in front of my earth globe, and I was playing guessing the capitals - I like to do that too yeah .. - At night, when I had to sleep, the voice talked to me again. Do you know what it said ? It said :

I warned you before. I told you.

And you know what ? She was right. She was damn right.

Sometimes you win sometimes you learn.

I started realising that I would have to retake my year, but I wasn't sad. I was determinate. The semester would not save my year, but I still could gain places. To prove myself I could have a better rating.
I had to !
I fell asleep. And I woke up the next day, at 7, I talked to myself in the mirror.

Fix what's wrong.

I went to the library, smiling inside.
New start.

But was it as good as it sounds to define myself as the 1217th ?


Thanks for reading ! Next time is about the friends I met during semester 2 , and about the first real depression of my life. To be continued :smile:

Love you :lovehug:

:heart: Thanks to the lovely Matrix for correcting me :heart:

Spoiler

(edited 7 years ago)
You're soo inspiring! It's a fab blog Frenchie!!


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by CleverSquirrel
You're soo inspiring! It's a fab blog Frenchie!!


Posted from TSR Mobile


Thank youuu :lovehug: :heart:
Original post by FrenchUnicorn
x


OK I'm stopping everything to read this :ahee: :hugs:
ou sont mes pantalons ?

ermm a very inspiring read Mademoiselle

:pierre:
C'etait tres interresant (Shush, I can't type accents :tongue:)


For those who had difficulty translating:

It was very interesting.
Original post by homeland.lsw
OK I'm stopping everything to read this :ahee: :hugs:

Awww thank youuu :lovehug:

Original post by the bear
ou sont mes pantalons ?

ermm a very inspiring read Mademoiselle

:pierre:


Les ours portent des pantalons :O ?

Spoiler



Merci :hugs: !
Original post by Andy98
C'etait tres interresant (Shush, I can't type accents :tongue:)


For those who had difficulty translating:

It was very interesting.


Omg !!! Andy is speaking french. ANDY. IS. SPEAKING. FRENCH.

Merci :lovehug:
Original post by FrenchUnicorn
Ethan always there :h: !
Thanks for the expression ! I'll remember it ! (You became my knew dictionnary you know :lol: )


It's an American expression, not English, but it does get used over here!
Reply 430
I actually get excited when I get a notification from you hahaaa.

I love your journey! Keep it up xx
Original post by FrenchUnicorn
Awww thank youuu :lovehug:


You're so brave :love:
OMG, so if you are not in the 331, after second year, do you repeat second year?
Original post by Jane1296
It's an American expression, not English, but it does get used over here!

Thanks for letting me know ;P :heart:

Original post by tilray
I actually get excited when I get a notification from you hahaaa.

I love your journey! Keep it up xx

Thank youuuu :lovehug:
I will :yep: thanks again for reading :3 :love:
Original post by homeland.lsw
You're so brave :love:
OMG, so if you are not in the 331, after second year, do you repeat second year?


No, you can retake once :/ (so you can do the year only twice) >_<
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by FrenchUnicorn
Omg !!! Andy is speaking french. ANDY. IS. SPEAKING. FRENCH.

Merci :lovehug:


Oui! Je parle un peu de francais :colonhash:
Original post by Andy98
Oui! Je parle un peu de francais :colonhash:


I knooooow :3

Spoiler

Original post by FrenchUnicorn


No, you can retake once :/ (so you can did the year only twice) >_<


just a slight grammar mistake
You can only DO the year twice. :h:
So was that the first time you did the year?
Original post by homeland.lsw
just a slight grammar mistake
You can only DO the year twice. :h:
So was that the first time you did the year?


Oh I'm sorry ! Thanks for correcting :heart:
Yes ! From the start I'm only talking about my first try ! And of course I'll talk about my second time later :yep:
Original post by FrenchUnicorn
Oh I'm sorry ! Thanks for correcting :heart:
Yes ! From the start I'm only talking about my first try ! And of course I'll talk about my second time later :yep:


Ah ok!! Well, did you get individual results? Which module did you the best in? Which did you do the worst in? What did you get for physics? :ahee:

Spoiler

Original post by homeland.lsw
Ah ok!! Well, did you get individual results? Which module did you the best in? Which did you do the worst in? What did you get for physics? :ahee:

Spoiler



Omg haha you're so sweet :3

Here are my grades :
UE1 -general chem, biochem' organic chem- : 8/20
UE2 - histology, embryology, reproductive biology, cell biology - : 9/20
UE3 -physics, biophysics- : 8/20
UE5 - anatomy- : 13/20

UE1 was a bad grade , I expected it. UE2 was bad too, but I found out later that I messed up with my sheet, as I was tired, so I was meant to have a good grade ..
UE5 was a good grade, but I expected something like 16/20 xD and
PHYSICS !!! It does not look like a good grade but it is !!! I had one of the best grade :love: I was really proud of me !! (You need to know physics is so difficult in this school that the average grade is 4/20 .. It's not a joke..) and with my 8/20 I was in the 10% best students in this module :ahee: I was really proud :yep:
Original post by FrenchUnicorn
Omg haha you're so sweet :3

Here are my grades :
UE1 -general chem, biochem' organic chem- : 8/20
UE2 - histology, embryology, reproductive biology, cell biology - : 9/20
UE3 -physics, biophysics- : 8/20
UE5 - anatomy- : 13/20

UE1 was a bad grade , I expected it. UE2 was bad too, but I found out later that I messed up with my sheet, as I was tired, so I was meant to have a good grade ..
UE5 was a good grade, but I expected something like 16/20 xD and
PHYSICS !!! It does not look like a good grade but it is !!! I had one of the best grade :love: I was really proud of me !! (You need to know physics is so difficult in this school that the average grade is 4/20 .. It's not a joke..) and with my 8/20 I was in the 10% best students in this module :ahee: I was really proud :yep:


Well done!!!! :biggrin: The best thing is that you knew what to improve on...Do you think that if you didn't mess up your sheet for UE2, you could have been in 331? Also is there no UE4? :confused:

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