Why doesn't he ever compliment me?

I've been going out with my boyfriend for 6 years and, I know this probably sounds pathetic of me to say this, but he never compliments me. It doesn't matter if I dress up with my hair done nice, he doesn't say anything. Likewise if I wear jeans and a tee. We went to a wedding recently and not once did he say I looked nice, although a lot of the other guests did. It's a one way thing: I make sure to often genuinely tell him he looks nice, or I'll call him sexy, or compliment his cologne but he never does that with me.

I'm very open with him in general, I'm not a jealous girlfriend who won't let him talk to other girls - in fact one of his best friends is female. But recently I've been struggling with depression and seeing him looking at photos of naked girls on the internet is making me feel like I'm not good enough for him. I've always been fine with him doing whatever on the internet but it's recently getting to me.

I've tried to talk to him about it, saying I feel like I'm not pretty enough for him and he tells me to stop fishing for compliments. I guess that's what I'm doing but who doesn't like to be told they look good?

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 1

CanIBeBae?

Original post by Tylosaurus

Don't confront him and ask why he never compliments you! He will feel weird, like he is not a good boyfriend! BTW you need to make sure you show him that you like being complimented! Make sure he knows that you find it appealing and you are comfortable with it.... Just cos you do it, don't think he has to too...

Reply 2

Tylosaurus

Original post by CanIBeBae?

How do I show him that I like being complimented when he literally never does it to me?

Reply 3

Rum Ham

Been with my partner for 7 years and its the exact same with him too. He compliments my personality, my views, my humour and things like that all the time but rarely compliments how I look. I dressed up for my mum's hen night last week and got compliments from everyone but he didn't bat an eyelid about how I looked but was still all over me that night and told me he loves me. To be fair, he never really even complimented my looks even at the start of the relationship. I have anxiety and self esteem issues too and sometimes it makes me feel a little weird when other people give me compliments about how I look and not him but I've grown to accept it. He forever says that looks aren't important and that its the last thing he goes with when being interested in someone and I could believe looks don't mean much to him, he wears socks with sandals :tongue:

but I do agree with you, its nice to be complimented about how you look from a partner, it doesn't have to be every single day but every now and then its nice and it gives you a boost. As long as he is loyal and shows you he loves you every day then that is the only thing that matters. Some guys just don't see looks as important as others do and some guys don't feel the need to compliment even though they do think you look good.

Reply 4

CanIBeBae?

Original post by Tylosaurus

How do I show him that I like being complimented when he literally never does it to me?

This might be wrong, but tell a friend of yours to compliment you and ask him if he agrees... not in a needy but inquiring way!

Reply 5

AccountingBabe

Original post by CanIBeBae?

I agree but I would suggest to talk to his friend who is a girl and tell her about it and ask her if she could perhaps persuade him in an obscure way to do it.

This way it will count to him because you didn't ask for it directly.

Reply 6

CanIBeBae?

Original post by AccountingBabe

Two heads are better than one... Unless you stick our heads together (Which you might want to)

Reply 7

username1623349

Original post by CanIBeBae?

This a ridiculous. How can she show she likes compliments without saying it when he never compliments her? And saying it will make him feel bad for not complimenting her... Then maybe he will start complimenting her.

OP, try explaining to him that you're not fishing for compliments, but you'd like him to acknowledge when you make an effort or when he notices something positive about you as it makes you feel good and makes you feel like he still pays close attention to you. Don't get wound up, just explain it the way you have to us.

Reply 8

Jebedee

Original post by Tylosaurus

I never compliment in a relationship really but that's because when you see all the guys that aren't banging her giving her compliments and the one guy she is banging not giving them. Logic should tell you why some guys aren't so keen to join the former crowd.