Is it a reliable thing to meet a online friend?

i known a friend online last month, and we want get to know each other further, is it all right to arrange an appointment or not?

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Reply 1

LGBTvoice

It depends how well you know them. If you do have to meet up, do it in a very public place and don't go anywhere you don't feel comfortable. Too many people have fake accounts and end up raping women and I wouldn't want to see it happen to you.

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Reply 2

missytwinpeaks

Maybe Skype first? :smile:

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Reply 3

newttella

Original post by Tonna01

i known a friend online last month, and we want get to know each other further, is it all right to arrange an appointment or not?

No matter how long you talk to them for, it'll be nerve-wracking meeting the first time. Go to a real public place like a mall, for example. Nothing can happen to you there.

Reply 4

doodle_333

It's obviously not the best idea. If you are going to meet them then it needs to be in a public place which you DO NOT LEAVE, and you need to tell someone where you will be and arrange to contact them when the person arrives to check in and give a time when you plan to leave to check in again.

Reply 5

Tiger Rag

I've met people online many times. The worst thing that happened? He gave me his cold. :frown:

Anyway, meet during the day in a public place. Make sure you know the place well enough, just in case something happens and you have to leave.

In my case, we'd talked for some years and for various reasons, didn't meet up. We met up one Sunday afternoon and just went for a walk.

Reply 6

Kates David

You are only on around 20% of full communication here, additionally, anyone can apparently be anything which they want to be. Despite all of this the odds are still well in your favor. All the same the risks must surely be very significantly heightened over meeting a guy by way a natural platform. Guys are of course relatively high risk to begin with.
Not now, I`m sixty now, I`m content to merely compete over physical world records, but certainly up until my early fifties, I was inclined to deal in "real age" rather than merely time elapsed since birth. Young women are only interested in period of time since birth of course, not one`s actual age, and I may not be the only guy around such predisposed. The redeeming trait where I was concerned was that I genuinely preferred friendships, close friendships mind, over romance, this even going right back to my teen years.; I`ve always both considered, and experienced to be, friendship (genuine/unconditional) to be superior to conventional all emotional love. However, I do not wish to meet up with anyone, so do not be alarmed. I`m a landlord, and my house is already chocked with young women as it is!! See my latest You Tube videos by googling Celebritydiscodave. I`m soon to be talking on the subject of psychopath fostering in family court. See you there??
It is not genuinely possible to know that you have got to know somebody from merely on line experience. It only works if they are genuine, and with such restricted communication there is no measure for this commodity. Psychopaths off line would be just as hard to figure! I`d suggest only meeting if there is a large group of you, including males, ideally.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 7

999tigger

Safety rules.
1 get to know them a bit.
2. public place as said by everyone.
3. tell someone where you are going or leave a note.
4. If you give details about yourself such as home, place of work and study then get the same from the other. Verify them
5. If worried take a friend or less intrusive get someone to ring you 1-2hrs into the meeting to check you are ok.
6. Monet you start to feel uncomfy then consider leaving.

Reply 8

Kates David

Original post by 999tigger

Yes, but the only actual safe guard you suggest to which might protect them from immediate harm is the meeting in a public place. However, taking it that they have successfully deceived thus far a not so public would soon become inevitable.
The problem with the public is that not many take much notice, and even fewer intervene.
The problem with "getting to know them a bit" is you cannot have any realistic idea as to whether that bit has been orchestrated or not .
Telling somebody where you are going is not even adequate to save your life?
You cannot know whether their details are genuine - Teams are working together!
"If worried"?, but you may not have that information required to be worried in the first instance. Do n`t go with another girl, that`s potentially just a second victim for a second man.
You may be just as likely to be at risk if you are successfully made to feel comfortable?
Ideally, mobile phones should be worn to the wrist, they are available, as well be loaded with the tracking application. Then two girls would very significantly reduce the risk - One of you at least would likely be able to make an emergency call instantly, commentating and keeping at a safe distance. Three of you thus armed might be as safe as crossing the road, but make sure at least one of you remains stood well back. Ideally, double this with panic alarms. The public tend to ignore panic alarms, so do n`t imagine that a panic alarm on its own is protection.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 9

999tigger

Original post by Kates David

Well your first post I found rather peculiar. You dvocate not meeing at all?

People meet up all the time from online dating and social media apps.. the only thing I forgot to mention was it depends on age, so if the person was school age Id probably suggest taking a friend.

You seem intent on thinking the guy has deceived and a person is in great danger, its no different from meeting anyone. How do your tenants know your arent a risk? Ofc there are people who can decieve, but I dont think many men are very good at it an checking their workplace or where they live is a good way of verifying whether they are real. Anyway i will respectfully agree to differ with you. Thanks though really

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 10

username2475259

Hi!
I had an online friend about 2 years ago and we talked for about a year then eventually decided to meet up. Obviously I had my suspicions and so did family, friends, etc. but sure enough he was the person I expected and we visit each other in the holidays and he is now a very good friend of mine. I think it is fine as long as you make sure they are safe because you hear all these horror stories. If you haven't skyped make sure you do just to find out they are who they say they are, and if you go to meet up try to go with a friend or family member to make sure they are fine or in a place you know. My friend is from Nottingham so I went up there to meet him with my Mum and best friend, so my Mum was in the area in case anything happened. My best friend was with me the whole time also and it turned out to be absolutely fine. I think most internet friends are fine but just be wary and make sure you plan and let your family know what you are doing etc.

Reply 11

Kates David

Original post by 999tigger

Well your first post I found rather peculiar. You dvocate not meeing at all?

People meet up all the time from online dating and social media apps.. the only thing I forgot to mention was it depends on age, so if the person was school age Id probably suggest taking a friend.

You seem intent on thinking the guy has deceived and a person is in great danger, its no different from meeting anyone. How do your tenants know your arent a risk? Ofc there are people who can deceive, but I dont think many men are very good at it an checking their workplace or where they live is a good way of verifying whether they are real. Anyway i will respectfully agree to differ with you. Thanks though really

You are putting words in my mouth/expressing for me what it is your agenda that I should have expressed on your behalf. I meant only to be entirely concise. I have simply pointed out that the risk is far higher by this route, and that should the worst mistake be made that none of your suggestions can even hope to meet it. - You likely out number the bad guys by 1000`s to mere hundreds, just through sheer activity, but they are out there. Just because it is accepted risk it does not follow that there is no significant risk. I`m simply reminding you that deception exists, for instance with every paedophile, sociopath, and psychopath, not to mention simply straight forward selfish young men. That makes up many thousands of guys, 10`s of thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands, perhaps even far more.

You cannot check their work place is a genuine one so easily when they are working as a team, and they can even line up alleged family members for photo shoots. Your best on line female friend may just be a lustful middle aged male sociopath. This is common place on over sea male dating sites. I think that you tend to having "very good" instincts/over instincts where it concerns significantly older guys, but relatively "poor instincts"/under instincts within your own peer group. Within your own peer group too many of you apparently feel unrealistically safe, this has been my experience.

The girls that live with me: Virtually no girls under the age of 22 yrs can maintain "time and place" with a guy older than their father, so yes, it took a long time for the first girl to arrive, and she was an exception to this rule. Madison is the reason that girls want to live with me/I`m the reason, but through Madison.. Truth is powerful, and truth is that nothing for absolute certain is known of anybody merely on account the passage of time, and I mean this to even include their age/how much they have aged/changed; and certainly nothing of their intent, character, interests, nor personality, or youthfulness. Many of your own years may be ten years your senior! Risk exists at all ages.

I want to believe that it`s a safer world, but girls keep arriving with their story. If the guy is not adequate enough in deception he may pay a girl to do the job for him. Mad trusted a guy, he turned out to be a narcissistic psychopath, five years in, and her life is still being ruined/controlled by him ten years later.
NB "Landlord to lodger" so-called relationships seem to facilitate this "time and place" to absorb a far wider group of individuals, perhaps surprising due to the fact that living together is so far beyond/significantly more potentially serious,, in my opinion, merely meeting up at agreed times and places as a mutual act of friendship Our programming/your programming is not necessarily a logical one.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 12

Mestrebu

Original post by Tonna01

i known a friend online last month, and we want get to know each other further, is it all right to arrange an appointment or not?

Meet and public and don't drink too much.

Reply 13

Abstract_Prism

Original post by Kates David

I was inclined to deal in "real age" rather than merely time elapsed since birth. Young women are only interested in period of time since birth of course, not one`s actual age

What's the difference?

Reply 14

RobML

Original post by Abstract_Prism

What's the difference?

Why do her posts sound like they're being written by some sophisticated AI? I'm scared

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(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 15

Alexion

Original post by RobML

Why do her posts sound like they're being written by some sophisticated AI? I'm scared

It is rather weird, isn't it... I think @taytweets escaped twitter

Reply 16

RobML

Original post by Alexion

It is rather weird, isn't it... I think @taytweets escaped twitter

Also, OP's posts elsewhere give the impression she's a bot too. Have I entered the twilight zone?

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Reply 17

Alexion

Original post by RobML

Also, OP's posts elsewhere give the impression she's a bot too. Have I entered the twilight zone?

Like, who uses the word 'appointment' to describe meeting a friend? AIs, that's who. It's time to run :woo:

Reply 18

RobML

Original post by Alexion

Like, who uses the word 'appointment' to describe meeting a friend? AIs, that's who. It's time to run :woo:

My favourite part is " See my latest You Tube videos by googling Celebritydiscodave. I`m soon to be talking on the subject of psychopath fostering in family court. See you there??" What even...

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Reply 19

Tiger Rag

Original post by 999tigger

I would also tell someone roughly when you expect to be back. When we met up, he said (due to other plans) we can only meet up for a few hours. We met up, went for a walk and just talked for a few hours. He walked me back close to where I lived and left.

Most of it is common sense really.