Being stereotypically attractive is also a curse.

If you have the looks, money and status as a guy you can date a lot of girls. A lot. The problem though is this, after a while you start to be disinterested in 99% of the girls out there. Like, totally disinterested.

You meet a girl you love and she is everything you look for. When breakups happen in such a case it is a million more times difficult to move on, because you weren't really interested in "play the field" anyway.

I know this seems crazy to the younger guys here, but yeah, it is another kind of misery, much more lonely. I find that with guys who have not got that much aesthetically going for them, they can move on to new girls much easier as they rate many more girls highly.

Reply 1

j_dot

Original post by sevva888

worrrddd . You just need to be selective and only go out w/ girls you properly like but then like you said, when you break up it's hard. So you just rebound because you can mess about w/ fit girls lightwork. then you find someone you like properly aaaannddd you're back at square 1

rinse and repeat - i've called it the [my name] cycle.

eventually you'll find the perfect 10/10 in your eyes and if it's meant to be then the breakup won't happen :smile:

Interesting

Original post by sevva888

The problem though is this, after a while you start to be disinterested in 99% of the girls out there. Like, totally disinterested.

Huh I doubt its as high as 99% :tongue:

, thats a very steep estimate. I get that you'd have 'higher expectations' being this hypothetical guy of having money and status and looks but you there would always be ladies who also had this combination ( or close to ) as well and there'd be more than 1% of them. :biggrin:

Also personality is a big part in long term loving relationships, you seem to have omitted that :colonhash:

Also, maybe moving to a larger populated area is better ( which isn't a problem as you already have money )

Eg London has a population of 8 million approx (not counting greater) 1% of the 40% female population still calculates to

0.4x8mill=3.2millx0.01=32,000 THIRTY TWO THOUSAND :smile:

assuming

half are single=16000

one quarter you have an interest in=4000

and 3/4 like you back (since you have all those qualities)=3000

and half have chemistry with you=1500 thats not too bad really :biggrin:

Original post by sevva888

You meet a girl you love and she is everything you look for. When breakups happen in such a case it is a million more times difficult to move on

I know breakups are undoubtedly hard :redface:

and they pain for months but ultimately its your choice to move on, there will of course be a long period of devastating sadness but YOU control that length of time.

Just because statistically it will be harder to find another fish in the sea than the average single person doesn't mean its impossible and the difficulty to move on doesn't increase exponentially to millions, maybe a few times but it is YOUR will and determination that determines the sad time allocated to that life event :wink:

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 4

sevva888

Original post by j_dot

It just hurts, like really hurts and I would not wish it on my worst enemy. Rebounds are nice for the briefest of time but then you think about the ex and the mind just goes crazy. I don't even bother with rebounds anymore, when I was younger they would take my mind sane after a breakup but these days it just exacerbates things.

Reply 5

j_dot

Original post by sevva888

in a breakup just distract yourself, dedicate to gym, be with your mates, go out. whatever it is that will take your mind off it. Before you know it you'll be back at square 1 in no time. You can't not like girls for this reason, you sort of just need to accept that it's gonna happen and I'm not saying you'll desensitise (because that'd be horrid) but you... get used to it.

Reply 6

loveleest

Why do people keep making these threads? Go ahead and look ugly then. It's really not that hard.

Reply 7

mondvay

i have this problem as well, i've only ever met one guy i liked and he's moved on since long ago and i still think about him :K:

Reply 8

FrenchUnicorn

Original post by sevva888

It's the money/status/look who makes you say that.
You don't have to pick the 1st girl who comes actually .. And if you think you can date everyone because of what you have, why not keeping it secret ? And then you'll see who is interested by who you are, not for your bank account.
I know what I'm talking about :h:

Reply 9

sevva888

Original post by FrenchUnicorn

I think I really :dolphin:

ed it up because I am rubbish with my feelings. It was all too little too late. I have been so used to casually attracting a girl then having sex then leaving. I never grew that part of myself where I could put my feelings on the line because I care about a girl. So yes, this whole problem with the girl I love came about because of how I have treated girls in the past and because I did not really develop emotionally.

It's pretty :dolphin:

ed up.

Reply 10

FrenchUnicorn

Original post by sevva888

I think I really :dolphin: