The Student Room Group
Uni students - Complete our survey >>
Uni students - Complete our survey >>
Uni students - Complete our survey >>

transgender dad

Is my dad legally my dad as he's changed his name and gender?

Scroll to see replies

Yes, he is still your Dad.
Why wouldn't he be?:redface:

Would you still be his daughter if you changed your name and gender?
Yeah, father or dad/mother or mum is biological so it refers to their sex. The Kardashians all call Caitlin dad even though her gender is female.
He is now your mother.
I am sorry to upset anyone, but I want to take this opportunity to ask this question. If it upsets people, please forgive me.

Now, my friend and I had this heated argument whether a transgender man, i.e. a man who changed his gender from man to woman, is gay or straight. I don't know what is the answer, but my friend, who has very strong views about many things, seems to think that the guy is a homosexual even though he is now a woman.

Please constructive response will be needed. Sorry again for any upset.
Original post by Wired_1800
I am sorry to upset anyone, but I want to take this opportunity to ask this question. If it upsets people, please forgive me.

Now, my friend and I had this heated argument whether a transgender man, i.e. a man who changed his gender from man to woman, is gay or straight. I don't know what is the answer, but my friend, who has very strong views about many things, seems to think that the guy is a homosexual even though he is now a woman.

Please constructive response will be needed. Sorry again for any upset.


You seem confused about terms. A trans man is a man who was assigned female at birth. You seem to be talking about trans women (women who were assigned male at birth). The sexuality of a trans women (like the sexuality of any person) depends on who she is attracted. She may be straight (attracted to men); gay/lesbian (attracted to women); bisexual (attracted to more than one gender); asexual (not experience sexual attraction) or use any of the other terms people use to describe their sexuality (pansexual, polysexual, demisexual, gray-a etc.). Her gender alone cannot tell you who she may or may not be attracted to.
Original post by SmallTownGirl
You seem confused about terms. A trans man is a man who was assigned female at birth. You seem to be talking about trans women (women who were assigned male at birth). The sexuality of a trans women (like the sexuality of any person) depends on who she is attracted. She may be straight (attracted to men); gay/lesbian (attracted to women); bisexual (attracted to more than one gender); asexual (not experience sexual attraction) or use any of the other terms people use to describe their sexuality (pansexual, polysexual, demisexual, gray-a etc.). Her gender alone cannot tell you who she may or may not be attracted to.


Thank you for your clarification.
Legally, as far as I know, yes. How you choose to see your parent in this scenario is often worked out in the families themselves. :tongue:

Original post by Wired_1800
x


If someone chooses to transition to a gender, they are that gender, so their sexual orientation will go accordingly. Gender identity and sexual orientation are seperate entities - if she* identifies as being attracted to males, she would be heterosexual. The fact she's trans is seperate from that.

Spoiler



Spoiler

Reply 9
Avatar for amyjanee15
amyjanee15
OP
10
Original post by william91919
Yeah, father or dad/mother or mum is biological so it refers to their sex. The Kardashians all call Caitlin dad even though her gender is female.


he goes mental when i call him dad. I'm going to live with my mum somewhere else as she doesn't like it either
Original post by amyjanee15
he goes mental when i call him dad. I'm going to live with my mum somewhere else as she doesn't like it either


Seems like there are varying opinions here. If she doesn't like it, then I would suggest using whatever pronouns she is most comfortable with because the technical definition may be outdated or not even exist.
Original post by Wired_1800
I am sorry to upset anyone, but I want to take this opportunity to ask this question. If it upsets people, please forgive me.

Now, my friend and I had this heated argument whether a transgender man, i.e. a man who changed his gender from man to woman, is gay or straight. I don't know what is the answer, but my friend, who has very strong views about many things, seems to think that the guy is a homosexual even though he is now a woman.

Please constructive response will be needed. Sorry again for any upset.




If you are a man and you change to a female and go out with a man it is still homosexual as you cannot change a biological sex but it depends what he wants to call it, but don't forget that he or she is still a man/woman
Original post by amyjanee15
he goes mental when i call him dad. I'm going to live with my mum somewhere else as she doesn't like it either


Why don't you ask her what she would like you to call her? Dad (and the fact that you're misgendering her using male pronouns) obviously upsets her - so have a chat and come up with a nickname that works for you both that doesn't make her uncomfortable.
Original post by amyjanee15
he goes mental when i call him dad. I'm going to live with my mum somewhere else as she doesn't like it either


Best thing to do is to ask your parent what they would like to be called. Have they given you any indication that they want to change pronouns? Your parent may want 'he' pronouns but many binary trans people want people to use the pronouns that are generally used for their gender (in this case is your parent is a trans woman that would be 'she' pronouns).

If your parent doesn't want you to use a male-coded term for parent then as well as female-coded terms there are a few neutral terms that you and your parent may want to discuss (http://genderqueeries.tumblr.com/titles).
Original post by AperfectBalance
If you are a man and you change to a female and go out with a man it is still homosexual as you cannot change a biological sex but it depends what he wants to call it, but don't forget that he or she is still a man/woman


What you have written here differs from other posters on this thread. They wrote that, in this instance, the person will be heterosexual because she is no longer male.

The example that was used for this discussion was Bruce Jenner, now Caitlin Jenner. My friend argued that she is a homosexual because she was born a man. This is regardless of whether he chose to change his gender.

I got tired of arguing with him, so i posted it here.
Original post by Wired_1800
What you have written here differs from other posters on this thread. They wrote that, in this instance, the person will be heterosexual because she is no longer male.

The example that was used for this discussion was Bruce Jenner, now Caitlin Jenner. My friend argued that she is a homosexual because she was born a man. This is regardless of whether he chose to change his gender.

I got tired of arguing with him, so i posted it here.



Yes that it their opinion, this is mine. opinions are allowed to differ
Original post by acupofgreentea

If someone chooses to transition to a gender, they are that gender, so their sexual orientation will go accordingly. Gender identity and sexual orientation are seperate entities - if she* identifies as being attracted to males, she would be heterosexual. The fact she's trans is seperate from that.

Spoiler

Spoiler



Yes, we have to discuss and grow our understanding of others.
Original post by PQ
Why don't you ask her what she would like you to call her? Dad (and the fact that you're misgendering her using male pronouns) obviously upsets her - so have a chat and come up with a nickname that works for you both that doesn't make her uncomfortable.


i can't deal with it now, i don't like him dressing up at all. I'm just uncomfortable with it all
Original post by PQ
Why don't you ask her what she would like you to call her? Dad (and the fact that you're misgendering her using male pronouns) obviously upsets her - so have a chat and come up with a nickname that works for you both that doesn't make her uncomfortable.


There may be a nickname based on OP's parent's chosen name that could be used purely by OP as an alternative to terms like mum or dad.
Original post by AperfectBalance
Yes that it their opinion, this is mine. opinions are allowed to differ


I agree and respect your opinion. I am on the fence because I don't have sufficient knowledge to conclude.

Cheers for sharing your opinion.

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you