The Student Room Group

What sexism have you experienced personally? (male & female)

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Original post by banterboy
They can both be a compliment, but one is utterly benign and the other is rape. So. Kinda being overly dramatic comparing someone finding you attractive and rape. To say the least.


I know. He just didn't realise that and I was winning the argument. There have been numerous flaws in what I've said - the most obvious being the inherently violent nature of rape as opposed to a passing comment.
Original post by IFoundWonderland
Idk about you, but my brain isn't so grossly underdevoloped that I'm incapable of considering the two independently of each other. I can think someone is attractive without wanting them to bang me against the nearest wall.


How attractive you find someone MEANS either how much you want to have sex with them or being with them in a relationship. There is no other thing that can mean.
Original post by IFoundWonderland
I know. He just didn't realise that and I was winning the argument. There have been numerous flaws in what I've said - the most obvious being the inherently violent nature of rape as opposed to a passing comment.


I really don't understand how your argument was based on a comparison you admit is faulty, but this somehow means you win the argument.
Reply 103
Original post by IFoundWonderland
Idk about you, but my brain isn't so grossly underdevoloped that I'm incapable of considering the two independently of each other. I can think someone is attractive without wanting them to bang me against the nearest wall.


Male vs female brains init

It doesn't mean that, it means "if we were both single and in an appropriate setting and she wanted to, I would **** her". But that's a bit long-winded.
Original post by banterboy
How attractive you find someone MEANS either how much you want to have sex with them or being with them in a relationship. There is no other thing that can mean.

I can find people attractive and not want to have sex with them... I think some girls are beautiful but I don't want to **** them.. Same with appreciating certain aesthetic features in males.
Original post by banterboy
I really don't understand how your argument was based on a comparison you admit is faulty, but this somehow means you win the argument.

Because I still come out on top and get a shallow sense of satisfaction from it 💪

Original post by difeo
Male vs female brains init

It doesn't mean that, it means "if we were both single and in an appropriate setting and she wanted to, I would **** her". But that's a bit long-winded.

Right. I see. Have you ever thought any men attractive?
Reply 106
Original post by IFoundWonderland
Because I still come out on top and get a shallow sense of satisfaction from it 💪


Right. I see. Have you ever thought any men attractive?


Yeah why
Original post by IFoundWonderland
Because I still come out on top and get a shallow sense of satisfaction from it 💪


Right. I see. Have you ever thought any men attractive?


Be honest. How old are you?
Original post by difeo
Yeah why

Because I'm shallow and manipulative and I find it entertaining. Especially when I'm struggling with insomnia and can't sleep.

Original post by banterboy
Be honest. How old are you?

Nineteen :erm:
Reply 109
Original post by IFoundWonderland
Because I'm shallow and manipulative and I find it entertaining. Especially when I'm struggling with insomnia and can't sleep.


Nineteen :erm:


No I meant why are you asking whether I've found men attractive
Original post by difeo
No I meant why are you asking whether I've found men attractive

Because unless you're gay , if you have found men attractive you will not have wanted to **** them. Therefore proving my point that it's possible to find people attractive and not want to have sex with them.
Original post by Ano9901whichone
What is a sexual object?


An instrument for sexual pleasure.
Reply 112
Original post by IFoundWonderland
Because unless you're gay , if you have found men attractive you will not have wanted to **** them. Therefore proving my point that it's possible to find people attractive and not want to have sex with them.


I agree, but it's being kinda pedantic. Presumably you're talking about when I said "when all you know about someone is what they look like, the main thing you can think is whether they're attractive, which is a polite version of "I'd **** them"."? In the majority of cases, it's true.
Original post by difeo
Male vs female brains init

It doesn't mean that, it means "if we were both single and in an appropriate setting and she wanted to, I would **** her". But that's a bit long-winded.

No I was referring to this. I don't understand why it's thay difficult to seperate the two.


Original post by Ano9901whichone
How do you know that this kid did not want to make passionate love to you?

Do people generally want to make passionate love to complete strangers? I refuse to believe you can 'make love' with someone you don't know at all.
When I was on early at work some group of s**** in a car decided I would appreciate 'OH, WILL YOU SHAG ME' yelled out at me across the car park
Twice I've had my bum slapped by some jerk teenager (once in HS another at work). The second time the police got called and his parents were none too happy with him
Being flirted with/ asked for my number/ stared at whilst I'm f***ing trying to work!!!
Stupid old men always making dumb comments
When I've been cycling on my own and some chavvy pricks decide to throw apples/ water at me :angry:

Mainly the rest has been from my mother and grandmother at various times:

I'm apparently not allowed to like guns and knives because that means I'm not a proper woman
I couldn't wear pants at high school
I'm not allowed to chase men for some reason aswell

From guys:
Being strong and independent comes at the cost of my femininity for some reason


Edit: This is why I hate men
My school on the topic of rape: "girls, here's a long list of things that you shouldn't do so you don't get raped."

Silence when the question was asked that surely it's the guy's responsibility not to rape and not the girl's responsibility not to get raped.

The fact that female anatomy was factually incorrect in the way that it was taught. (Girls do not have built in virginity detectors.)

When girls wanted to play football in PE, we were never allowed to use the MUGA pitch because the boys were using it.

History focused almost entirely on rich white (British) men.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by IFoundWonderland
No I was referring to this. I don't understand why it's thay difficult to seperate the two.



Do people generally want to make passionate love to complete strangers? I refuse to believe you can 'make love' with someone you don't know at all.


Generalisations?
I thought that it was wrong to make generalisations, that's what everyone says (<<-- oops I just did it aswell).
Maybe you can, maybe you can't.
What's wrong if this kid did want to **** you?
Reply 117
Original post by IFoundWonderland
No I was referring to this. I don't understand why it's thay difficult to seperate the two.


Most of the time there's no need to separate the two. This is one of those times, as far as I can see. The guy making the comment wants to have sex with you, this means he finds you attractive. The opposite way round wouldn't necessarily be true, but that's irrelevant to this situation.
Reply 118
Original post by Katty3
My school on the topic of rape: "girls, here's a long list of things that you shouldn't do so you don't get raped."Silence when the question was asked that surely it's the guy's responsibility not to rape and not the girl's responsibility not to get raped.Posted from TSR Mobile


This is so stupid. No one says it for any other crime. "I'm not going to lock my doors, people just shouldn't steal things".
There will always be bad people, it's sensible to take precautions against being a victim of these people.

Original post by Katty3
History focused almost entirely on rich white (British) men.Posted from TSR Mobile


That's not sexist. British history was mostly made by white British men, for obvious reasons.
Original post by Ano9901whichone
Generalisations?
I thought that it was wrong to make generalisations, that's what everyone says (<<-- oops I just did it aswell).
Maybe you can, maybe you can't.
What's wrong if this kid did want to **** you?

That is hardly a generalisation. People don't exactly fall in love with the lower portion of someone's face (I was wearing sunglasses).

I have, unfortunately, been victim to two occassions when someone has wanted to **** me and has acted on it. That is what is wrong with it and that is why it makes me so upset. It makes me feel that people cannot view me as anything more than an instrument of sexual pleasure.

Original post by difeo
Most of the time there's no need to separate the two. This is one of those times, as far as I can see. The guy making the comment wants to have sex with you, this means he finds you attractive. The opposite way round wouldn't necessarily be true, but that's irrelevant to this situation.

I found the way he voiced it crass, offensive and rude. It made me feel sad and vulnerable. I don't see why the fact that it can be considered a compliment overwhelmingly negates this.

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