Was I raped???

I remember telling him to put on a condom cause I was not about to get pregnant or an STI.

So I drank A LOT (at least a litre) and my "friend's" friends put me on a bus and I vaguely remember like talking to everyone on the bus and I met this guy (he was completely sober) and I told him where I lived and he still took me to his apartment. I remember telling him to put on a condom cause I was not about to get pregnant or an STI just because I was drunk. He would stop every so often to "cuddle" and I just remember waking feeling like complete **** and seeing like 3 full condoms on the floor. He wanted to do it "again" in the morning but I kept refusing but he still tried and again I told him to put the condom on;. He wasn't like violent though but he was a complete stranger and was like a decade older than me (he knew my age). He didn't ask me for permission, he'd just stop for a bit if I started crying or stopped saying anything. I feel like I couldn't push him away though because I was smoking his cigarettes and staying at his house so it was essentially my fault for getting that drunk in the first place. And I dont even know if I was up for it or not but most likely not since I didnt even want to do it with my boyfriend when I was sober. He didnt really "force force" me so honestly I'm so confused right now, I literally just got home. I don't THINK I was raped because I dont remember much and it wasn't exactly traumatising like the first time it happened (I was younger). I just feel so dirty and I feel like it was my fault cause I didnt really stop stop him and I didnt go home when I should have and continued to go to his apartment so I did have some sort of control in which direction it could have gone in. I feel sick but I think that is just cause I'm hungover.

Should I just pretend it didnt happen and move on? One of those drunken mistakes things.

That's rape. You were drunk. You didn't consent. You don't remember it. You cried, he carried on. I had a *similar* experience, except I did say no. If you want, you can PM me. I remember even straight after it happened I didn't feel traumatised - didn't even really realise what had happened. You're probably still a bit drunk and hungover. It catches up on you.

Ok.

Did you consent to the activity?

If yes = not rape.

If no = rape.

Now, you do realise that you could NOT give consent due to your intoxication, i.e. you were incapitated by the alcohol. Legally then, you were raped.

At first it looks like u gave him consent by asking him to put a condom on But u must show that u did not have enough mental capacity to give the consent to him i.e being intoxicated; having drank at least 1 litre of alcohol. I'm sorry but it sounds like rape to me.

But if she was capable of giving him something like an address then she wasn't incapable of it.

OP's only way for it to be proven rape is that if "at least 1 litre of alcohol" is enough according to the threshold of the law to diminish her mental capacity. If not, then this is an unfortunate event.

You telling him to put a condom on when he does do it is kind of giving him consent to actually do it, don't you think? He clearly wasn't trying to violate you if he stopped to check if you were okay and "cuddled" you..

Also, you said you have a boyfriend.. Maybe you're just regretting that this happened?

It sounds like he took advantage as you were in a vulnerable state, however it doesn't 'seem' like rape. None of us can say for sure, because you can't be certain of what you said. It seems like he pressured you, but you did consent

Lol you're in the wrong too , so don't try to label it as rape on his part

But if she was capable of giving him something like an address then she wasn't incapable of it.

it's one of those situations that isn't really black or white, technically if you were drunk and he was sober then you couldn't have consented but you did tell him to use a condom and he wasn't really forcing you. By calling it rape you technically are saying he should go to prison which is a bit extreme for a man who had sex with a drunk girl