The Student Room Group

Am I homosexual?

Yes it is one of 'these threads', however i would like some opinions on it because not knowing for sure does bother me and as much as people can say don't put yourself into a box or label yourself i can't help but want to kind of know for certain. I'm rather sure i am because well simply put i am attracted to girls (i am a girl) and all 'fantasies' involve girls and I can't imagine kissing men and when i try to it doesn't really feel right or it just doesn't do anything for me. Also i would be fine having lesbian sex, would want to if i'm honest but the idea of heterosexual sex is disgusting to me. I have done the kinsey scale test things and i get homosexual no matter how many times i do it but i don't know i don't feel 'gay' as such and i don't fit any of the stereotypes so i wonder if i actually am. I'm 18 by the way and this is a serious thread so please give serious responses.
thank you.
It doesn't matter how others define your sexuality. If you don't want straight sex then don't have it. Just do what makes you happy.
Yes, judging by what you write, you are. I think you know it, but it's a big step in any person's life, so I can understand you putting so much thought into it.

Look at it like this; i'm heterosexual and the thought of being with another guy is very strange, and doesn't make me feel good (i think disgusting is too strong a word). It seems like you have the same feeling about women. We were both born like this, and it's our natural instinct, so if your natural instinct is how you described, then yes, I would say you are homosexual.

Hope you can think about it and accept it, you'll be more happy than if you actively deny it.

Someone tell me if i'm wrong, i'm only 19 so I don't have a ton of experience.



But yeah, what the girl above me said is correct.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Yes it is one of 'these threads', however i would like some opinions on it because not knowing for sure does bother me and as much as people can say don't put yourself into a box or label yourself i can't help but want to kind of know for certain. I'm rather sure i am because well simply put i am attracted to girls (i am a girl) and all 'fantasies' involve girls and I can't imagine kissing men and when i try to it doesn't really feel right or it just doesn't do anything for me. Also i would be fine having lesbian sex, would want to if i'm honest but the idea of heterosexual sex is disgusting to me. I have done the kinsey scale test things and i get homosexual no matter how many times i do it but i don't know i don't feel 'gay' as such and i don't fit any of the stereotypes so i wonder if i actually am. I'm 18 by the way and this is a serious thread so please give serious responses.
thank you.


Yes you sound gay by what you hve described

Not sure what you mean by 'I dont feel gay' :s-smilie: you say you are attracted to girls and would like to have sex with girls, sounds like you feel very gay :colondollar: and omg stereotypes lol you dont have to fit stereotypes to be gay!!
Reply 4
Your sexuality is defined by who you're attracted to, not whether you fit the stereotypes associated with that orientation :yep:
Reply 5
I once kissed a guy. I still don't consider myself gay though!
Reply 6
Thank you all for taking the time to respond :smile:

Original post by georgiaswift
It doesn't matter how others define your sexuality. If you don't want straight sex then don't have it. Just do what makes you happy.

Well i guess that is true tbh. Only at the moment i'm not in a position to have sex with anybody although i do know that i definitely wouldn't want to have heterosexual sex. thank you :smile:

Original post by bathstudent16
Yes, judging by what you write, you are. I think you know it, but it's a big step in any person's life, so I can understand you putting so much thought into it.

Look at it like this; i'm heterosexual and the thought of being with another guy is very strange, and doesn't make me feel good (i think disgusting is too strong a word). It seems like you have the same feeling about women. We were both born like this, and it's our natural instinct, so if your natural instinct is how you described, then yes, I would say you are homosexual.

Hope you can think about it and accept it, you'll be more happy than if you actively deny it.

Someone tell me if i'm wrong, i'm only 19 so I don't have a ton of experience.

But yeah, what the girl above me said is correct.


Thank you for this response :smile: and well i am as you say pretty certain i am, i guess there is just an element of me that doesn't want it to be true. Things would be easier if i liked guys and well i get confused sometimes because i can find men attractive objectively, i do think some men are cute and stuff but it is the same way someone would sort of look at a puppy or something. Like you think they are cute but you aren't attracted to them. And well yeah that is true, took me about three years to even get to this point and then i accepted it within myself about 6 months ago but i think as i have only accepted it in my own head it is easy for me to start questioning it again or because i have to pretend a lot it is easy to sort of fall in with that.

Original post by lolakirk
Yes you sound gay by what you hve described

Not sure what you mean by 'I dont feel gay' :s-smilie: you say you are attracted to girls and would like to have sex with girls, sounds like you feel very gay :colondollar: and omg stereotypes lol you dont have to fit stereotypes to be gay!!


yeah tbh i probably do thinking about it :redface: and well yeah that doesn't make much sense to me either but i well i just can't see myself doing all that pride stuff and things and as well ik gay ppl inrl and i don't act like any of them at all. Tbh i'm quite introverted and stuff so idk :/

Original post by Alexion
Your sexuality is defined by who you're attracted to, not whether you fit the stereotypes associated with that orientation :yep:


Thank you :smile: and tbh never really saw it like that so thanks x

Original post by john2054
I once kissed a guy. I still don't consider myself gay though!


aha well haven't kissed anyone (not yet anyway :lol:)
You don't have to label yourself right now (or ever) if you don't want to. And if you do choose an identity label it should be for your benefit - not other people's.

And you don't have to act a certain way to be any sexuality. Some people fit some (or all) of the stereotypes. Some don't. And it can seem like everyone fits the stereotypes because often we don't notice people who don't until they come out. I'm sure you know a huge range of straight people (both personally and famous people we see in the media) and they have a wide variety of personalities. Gay people, lesbians and bi people have as much of a range of personalities as straight people.

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