Brother is infatuated - failing A levels!

So my brother is about to sit his AS exams this time around, he's just had a parent's evening tonight which our Mum attended and has come back saying it was 'abominable' which is a word she never uses so I know that means serious bad news.

My brother should be in an apprenticeship but he didn't manage to sort one out before term started so he fell back on A levels at the sixth form joined with the secondary he attended.

He's expressed he hates most teachers, hates some subjects and hates school. When my Mum tried to bring up with him where it changed for him (he used to do really well up until around Year 10/11) he said that he got a social life.

He also expresses that he 'doesn't care' what happens should he fail and from the options of university, apprenticeship and 'dead end job' (as my mum put it...) he chose the job, said he didn't care.

He currently has a girlfriend who's in Year 11 at the same school, though they don't see each other much at school they do see each other pretty much every day.

He came to stay with me and my partner at our house where we discussed some options to switch to apprenticeships and my partner even offered to sit and go through an application with him. My brother usually really respects me and my partner but this visit he spent the entire time texting or facebooking his girlfriend.

I brought it up with him and very quickly he lost his temper and lashed out with some really hurtful comments directed at me. He called to apologise but only after our Mum told him to and even then he turned it into another argument where he said more hurtful things whilst his girlfriend laughed in the background.

They talk like they're newlyweds, are completely in each others pockets and I would normally find it cute were he not failing school and being a complete arse to his family because of it.

What on earth can we do or say that won't lead to more horrible comments? Or worse him failing??

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Snap his **** up

Honestly, he's a teenager and probably won't listen. The best thing you can do is try to gently guide him, and possibly enlist his girlfriend to help you to help him work harder.

I was in the same position during my A-Levels (new boyfriend, doing awfully) and it took my dad banning my boyfriend from seeing me unless I'd done a certain amount of revision for me to actually work hard.

Reply 3

999tigger

he should quit sixth form because taking and failing will do him no favours at all. He would be better off getting an apprenticeship and think about uni later if need be. he can get a bit of money plus be out of school and learning a trade.

Reply 4

Nerrad

Let him fail, make him learn from his mistakes. Let him lose everything he has, and realise what a piece of **** he is, and what a piece of **** he WOULD be if it continues. Soon he'll realise how childish he is, and how selfish it is to himself and his family. It is only when you've lost everything that, you'd be willing to fight for anything.

Reply 5

llys

What on earth can we do?

You can let him fail. Stop trying to protect him from himself. It is not the end of the world if he does fail and it is not your problem. He can always go back into education once he realises it may be a good idea.

Reply 6

Forumaddict

I feel the same way kind of I'm in year 13 and I'm actually completely crazy other a girl were not dating or anything she's just a crush but I think about her 24/7. I struggle to focus on revision often because my mind drifts off to daydreaming about her. Sometimes I try to motivate or reward myself like if I do this past paper I reward myself with 10 minutes of day dreaming about her. Sounds cringe but if I don't do it I get depressed because I like her so much

Reply 7

PurplePixie96

Original post by Forumaddict

For your own sanity's sake, ask her out.

Reply 8

Richpeasant

Leave the brat fail and live his life in regret, only way he'll learn.

Reply 9

Forumaddict

Original post by PurplePixie96

For your own sanity's sake, ask her out.

School breaks up in2 weeks I've ran out of time

Reply 10

PurplePixie96

Original post by Forumaddict

School breaks up in2 weeks I've ran out of time

Let me tell you a story, my boyfriend and I became friends during exam season, then I invited him over for pizza and to watch a show we both liked, we ended up kissing and nearly 2 years later we're together. There is always time.

Reply 11

Forumaddict

Original post by PurplePixie96

You invited him other during A2 exams?

Reply 12

PurplePixie96

Original post by Forumaddict

You invited him other during A2 exams?

After exam season, should have clarified. It was AS exams as well.

Reply 13

Forumaddict

Original post by PurplePixie96

After exam season, should have clarified. It was AS exams as well.

that's so much easier though because you go back to school afterwards. I'm literally going to see her maybe a dozen more times in my life and unless I'm very lucky I will probably never have another conversation with her even

Reply 14

Elastichedgehog

Me and my partner have kind of adapted to A levels, considering we met at the beginning of them. At first we were falling behind in work because you've obviously met this new person and you don't really think about the consequences of spending all your time with them. Eventually you kind of realize what's important and start focusing on doing stuff for yourself etc. The thing is you're only damaging the other persons education as well as your own, and y'know, relationships can work around anything if you're willing to talk about it. He's just headstrong OP, try speaking to his girlfriend about it, if she rejects you then you're just going to have to accept that their his decisions, he's an adult now, he'll have to live with them.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 15

Fashion Girl

I think you need to be upfront with him that this sorry attitude isn't going to sort his life out, and if he doesn't want to end up in the gutter like so many kids, do drugs and end up nowhere constructive eventually in life, to at least enjoy it in a capacity more worthwhile than investing in his girlfriend a lot, maybe it's not such a bad idea to get the concept of family life like everyone else and listen to lifesaving advice from people who actually like care for a change! :colonhash:

Reply 16

chikane

Let him mess up his future he will regret it in 10 years time with 0 GCSE's, splitting up from this 'gf' and flipping burgers in Mcdonalds.

Reply 17

chikane

Original post by Forumaddict

School breaks up in2 weeks I've ran out of time

Don't you talk outside of school? on fb or on other social media? You will regret not asking her out also is she staying in sixth form at the school? cause you sound like you are doing Gcse's.

Reply 18

Anonymous #2

A levels is not a walk in the park, one needs to be studying consistently, have a sharp and focused mind in order to succeed. Maybe if he is easily distracted by his gf then he needs to be disciplined. I was in the same boat as him and my father confiscated my laptop and made me deactivate Facebook for 2 years, honestly in retrospect, it did me well good as now I'm in the right place to be.

Also get him tutors if he needs a bit of motivation. But that's given he puts the work and effort in!

If he failed then it's not the end of the world, there are equivalent courses that could land him to his desired career path.