Is she trying to whip me?

For example: In the past she would pay for a meal for the both of us then she'll refuse when I offer to pay half, even if I insist she'll still say no. And won't let me choose the meal. I basically have to stand my ground to get my way with this girl. Yesterday her family invited me to dinner with them in a restaurant, but the food was taking quite some time to arrive, then I remembered I left a chocolate bar in my pocket and I wanted to munch it since I was really hungry. But before I could even open the wrapper she snatched the bar out of my hand and said I had to wait for my food. I got vexed and tried explaining that I was hungry, but she was being stubborn and said "no, you are going to get a stomach ache, wait for the salad". I clinched my jaw and didn't want to make a scene in front of her family, but then she triggered me again by saying "she doesn't like my attitude", so I said "well if I am a child to you why haven't you changed my diaper yet"? as I felt she was treating me like a child, but she laughed. And I got up and stormed out of the restaurant, her family were shocked and unimpressed by my immature behaviour.

When I called her and asked her why she treats me like she's my mum, she says it's because she "cares about me".

But I don't know if this is her way of showing she cares about me or if she's just being a control freak and trying to whip me?

(edited 8 years ago)

wtf

if you were desperate for chocolate you could have gone to the rest room and eaten it there.

Reply 3

Rub-a-dub dub

OP

1

Original post by the bear

if you were desperate for chocolate you could have gone to the rest room and eaten it there.

So you agree with her then?

Why do I have to sit on a dirty toilet seat just so I can have a chocolate bar?

If I am hungry I should be allowed to have a chocolate bar

Reply 4

the bear

20

Original post by Rub-a-dub dub

So you agree with her then?

Why do I have to sit on a dirty toilet seat just so I can have a chocolate bar?

If I am hungry I should be allowed to have a chocolate bar

maybe you could eat the chocolate standing up ? :dontknow:

Reply 5

BhagwanNoBhool

2

Pulling out a chocolate bar at a restaurant, especially around people you should be trying to impress, is childish and rude.
The diaper comment was very immature too.

That said, removing your autonomy to the extent you can't even chose your own meals sounds very controlling to me, if you were a woman people would even call it abusive.

Reply 6

carrotstar

21

Original post by Rub-a-dub dub

For example: In the past she would pay for a meal for the both of us then she'll refuse when I offer to pay half, even if I insist she'll still say no. And won't let me choose the meal. I basically have to stand my ground to get my way with this girl. Yesterday her family invited me to dinner with them in a restaurant, but the food was taking quite some time to arrive, then I remembered I left a chocolate bar in my pocket and I wanted to munch it since I was really hungry. But before I could even open the wrapper she snatched the bar out of my hand and said I had to wait for my food. I got vexed and tried explaining that I was hungry, but she was being stubborn and said "no, you are going to get a stomach ache, wait for the salad". I clinched my jaw and didn't want to make a scene in front of her family, but then she triggered me again by saying "she doesn't like my attitude", so I said "well if I am a child to you why haven't you changed my diaper yet"? as I felt she was treating me like a child, but she laughed. And I got up and stormed out of the restaurant, her family were shocked and impressed by my immature behaviour.

When I called her and asked her why she treats me like she's my mum, she says it's because she "cares about me".

But I don't know if this is her way of showing she cares about me or if she's just being a control freak and trying to whip me?

The eating chocolate in a restaurant I disagree with. It's basic manners to only eat food served to you by the restaurant whilst you are there, unless you have dietary requirements which the restaurant can't take care of.

As for her paying for your food, I wouldn't complain because you're getting a free meal! Perhaps it would be worth suggesting that for as many meals she buys you, you buy her an equal amount so that it's fair. Me and my boyfriend will alternate in food/cinema tickets we buy each other to try and keep it reasonably even, but not down to the last penny.

As for her choosing your meals.. Ask her why she's choosing the food for you. It could be so that it's reasonably priced.. Maybe suggest this and see how she reacts? That seems very strange and is almost worth you doing the same to her on occasion to give her a taste of her own medicine. If she whines, then you ca always bring up how you're not allowed to choose, and therefore she shouldn't be either.

You said her family were impressed but your immature behaviour.. Did you mean unimpressed? She definitely needs a good talking to, but perhaps childishly isn't the way to do it!

Reply 7

DarcyDirksen

Very strange to do this in a restaurant, and your girl was absolutely right. Just saying .....

Reply 8

user73867

19

Eating a chocolate bar whilst waiting for a meal is indeed bizarre. I mean, it's not like a criminal offence or anything and it could be funny if you played it off that way.

I think turning these kind of events in a power struggle between the both of you is nonsensical. Stand up for the things that really matter to you. Choose your battles.

Don't fight a lot of battles but make sure you win the few that you do fight. When you've made a decision concerning just you, don't argue about it, just tell her that's the way it is. End of discussion. If it concerns the both of you, time to be a bit more diplomatic. No girl respects a man that's a push over...but you don't want to fight over everything either.

Reply 9

DepletingSanity

3

As much as it seems a little overthetop the way she is acting, I can understand around the chocolate.. Some people see it as rude to eat a chocolate bar (or anything you brought in yourself) whilst at a restaurant, and a lot of places will frown on it...

Have you sat down with her and talked about it in detail? That is really the best way to go, if it hasn't been done already.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

If she's already this controlling now, it'll probably be worse a few years down the line. I'd cut my losses and move on.

Reply 11

tengentoppa

18

Original post by Rub-a-dub dub

For example: In the past she would pay for a meal for the both of us then she'll refuse when I offer to pay half, even if I insist she'll still say no. And won't let me choose the meal. I basically have to stand my ground to get my way with this girl. Yesterday her family invited me to dinner with them in a restaurant, but the food was taking quite some time to arrive, then I remembered I left a chocolate bar in my pocket and I wanted to munch it since I was really hungry. But before I could even open the wrapper she snatched the bar out of my hand and said I had to wait for my food. I got vexed and tried explaining that I was hungry, but she was being stubborn and said "no, you are going to get a stomach ache, wait for the salad". I clinched my jaw and didn't want to make a scene in front of her family, but then she triggered me again by saying "she doesn't like my attitude", so I said "well if I am a child to you why haven't you changed my diaper yet"? as I felt she was treating me like a child, but she laughed. And I got up and stormed out of the restaurant, her family were shocked and unimpressed by my immature behaviour.

When I called her and asked her why she treats me like she's my mum, she says it's because she "cares about me".

But I don't know if this is her way of showing she cares about me or if she's just being a control freak and trying to whip me?

You acted like a prick tbh. You don't eat a chocolate bar while waiting for your meal at a restaurant, it's shockingly bad manners.

She was doing you a favour by preventing you from acting like a dick in public. You then went on to make a scene in front of her family, embarrassing the poor girl.

Rather than worrying about what she's doing, you should get your **** together and start behaving like a reasonable human being. You're completely in the wrong here

Reply 12

ZuluK

17

answering the title:

No... she's trying to nae nae you :h:

Reply 13

Rub-a-dub dub

OP

1

Original post by BhagwanNoBhool

Pulling out a chocolate bar at a restaurant, especially around people you should be trying to impress, is childish and rude.
The diaper comment was very immature too.

That said, removing your autonomy to the extent you can't even chose your own meals sounds very controlling to me, if you were a woman people would even call it abusive.

Why? I was really hungry, the food was taking long to arrive, surely having a small chocolate bar isn't doing any harm, it's not like I am offending anyone with a kit kat bar?

I just don't understand how I was in the wrong?

Reply 14

Rub-a-dub dub

OP

1

Original post by the bear

maybe you could eat the chocolate standing up ? :dontknow:

That's true I should have stood up, that way she wouldn't have had the chance to grab my chocolate bar.

Reply 15

BhagwanNoBhool

2

Original post by Rub-a-dub dub

Why? I was really hungry, the food was taking long to arrive, surely having a small chocolate bar isn't doing any harm, it's not like I am offending anyone with a kit kat bar?

I just don't understand how I was in the wrong?

Common decency and table manners. There are cultural norms that exist around you and regardless of your opinion of them, if you break them people are going to be displeased with your behaviour.

Basically, it's selfish to sit there eating while other people in your party are waiting for their food too.

Reply 16

DanteTheDoorKnob

5

Bad table manners but she definitely sounds insecure. Sounds like she has a pathological need for control which extends to simple things like paying...

Just leave.

Reply 17

Rub-a-dub dub

OP

1

Original post by tengentoppa

You acted like a prick tbh. You don't eat a chocolate bar while waiting for your meal at a restaurant, it's shockingly bad manners.

She was doing you a favour by preventing you from acting like a dick in public. You then went on to make a scene in front of her family, embarrassing the poor girl.

Rather than worrying about what she's doing, you should get your **** together and start behaving like a reasonable human being. You're completely in the wrong here

Wow! How did I behave like a "prick"?

Firstly she embarrassed me by treating me like a 5 year old in front of her family. Which can feel awkward and demeaning.

Secondly I was really hungry and the food was taking a long time to arrive. What's wrong in having a small kit kat bar while waiting, I am hardly harming anyone or offending them.

You are making this out like I was 100% to blame here, she was also at fault here as well. Calling me a "dick".

Reply 18

Drummerz

12

Thought this thread was about something a bit more kinky...turned out to be more interesting than that lol . OP grow up a little, she was right to stop you, can't be doing that in a restaurant especially in front of her parents :/

Reply 19

RachaelBee

20

What you did was bad manners and immature, and honestly I have no idea why men have a problem with women paying for food; is your ego really that fragile? I'd be miffed if I couldn't choose what I wanted to eat, that is odd and I'd bring it up with her, but as for the rest of it YOU are in the wrong, not her.

Is she trying to whip me?

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