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My dad just asked if I wanted to get engaged to a girl in a picture

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Original post by Serine Soul
If I'm not married in 7 or so years, this is what my parents will be doing :puke:

I'd rather get married to someone from TSR...


If hypothetically I had to take an arranged marriage, my first request would be they share a similar music taste.
Original post by Serine Soul
I had the 'respectable people' talk with my mum the other day and she said,
"Well back home, people have a different status and it's important to make sure that you marry someone with a very respectable background"

"But mum, they can't help which family they're born into can they?" I asked

"No, but they might be like their ancestors. You have to go for someone with a history of a high status, like one your father's family has."

"So much for high status when we're living below the poverty line here."

I think she might have cut me but she controlled herself


LMAO

Exactly, its such a silly system. My dad was talking to my baby sis about studying. She's doing GCSEs, and he was telling her how its important for girls to have an education even if they don't end up working; just so that they are seen as respectable when being chosen to get married.

And he was telling me similar things about how only respectable career paths should be striven for, and my friends who are studying sports nutrition and culinary arts are on their way to silly jobs.

:colonhash:
Original post by Serine Soul
If I'm not married in 7 or so years, this is what my parents will be doing :puke:

I'd rather get married to someone from TSR...


Do you want to make a backup deal? Like if we're not married by the time our parents get anxious, we marry each other just to get them off our backs. :colone:
Reply 43
Avatar for lNurl
lNurl
19
It's so hard to find a bf, why you guys are so against it :biggrin:

Think about it, you family find yourself educated, at least average looking partner and you get to ask all the other important questions, get to know, and if you don't like it, you say "bye" :biggrin:

Better than single forever :smile:
Original post by lNurl
It's so hard to find a bf, why you guys are so against it :biggrin:

Think about it, you family find yourself educated, at least average looking partner and you get to ask all the other important questions, get to know, and if you don't like it, you say "bye" :biggrin:

Better than single forever :smile:


That's fair enough, but having to spend my life with someone I haven't even met is a very disconcerting thought. I'm not exactly sure, but I don't think in my family you even get to talk to the person, maybe meet them for a second.

Compatibility is a big deal, especially when it precedes a decision to live as two parts of a singular whole.
Get to know her properly OP. You said she's good looking now see if her personality is good as she looks.

Arranged marriages don't happen right away like some people here think, you can have an arranged marriage but get to know the person for years before you settle down with them.
Original post by XOR_
If hypothetically I had to take an arranged marriage, my first request would be they share a similar music taste.

My request would be that I am free to put my desires before his parents'. (Work, living separate from them etc) Like ffs I'm marrying you not your mum

Original post by BristolFresher15
LMAO

Exactly, its such a silly system. My dad was talking to my baby sis about studying. She's doing GCSEs, and he was telling her how its important for girls to have an education even if they don't end up working; just so that they are seen as respectable when being chosen to get married.

And he was telling me similar things about how only respectable career paths should be striven for, and my friends who are studying sports nutrition and culinary arts are on their way to silly jobs.

:colonhash:

That's exactly their mentality! And then they're like 'don't go for the top courses at top unis or get a PhD afterwards or whatever, you'll be too educated, no one will marry you :colonhash:


Original post by BristolFresher15
Do you want to make a backup deal? Like if we're not married by the time our parents get anxious, we marry each other just to get them off our backs. :colone:


Sure why not? :teehee:
Keep with it for a year or so and if it's not going too well, go our own ways :yep:
Ah, a life of independence :moon:
Original post by Serine Soul
That's exactly their mentality! And then they're like 'don't go for the top courses at top unis or get a PhD afterwards or whatever, you'll be too educated, no one will marry you :colonhash:


Sure why not? :teehee:
Keep with it for a year or so and if it's not going too well, go our own ways :yep:
Ah, a life of independence :moon:


Yup, exactly. Too educated? Makes no sense...

And great! Its a deal, at least we've talked; unlike me and whoever they plan to set me up with would have. :tongue:
Original post by BristolFresher15
Yup, exactly. Too educated? Makes no sense...

And great! Its a deal, at least we've talked; unlike me and whoever they plan to set me up with would have. :tongue:


I could be a 57 year old male for all you know though....
Reply 49
Avatar for lNurl
lNurl
19
Original post by BristolFresher15
That's fair enough, but having to spend my life with someone I haven't even met is a very disconcerting thought. I'm not exactly sure, but I don't think in my family you even get to talk to the person, maybe meet them for a second.

Compatibility is a big deal, especially when it precedes a decision to live as two parts of a singular whole.


Ohh that's not right, thank God that's not case in my family.
If you don't get the chance to meet (more than once for sure), even have time together just two of you, ability to ask private questions, discuss music, movies, cartoon, whatever... then I would consider it forced marriage not arranged.

Saying yes not to upset parents is kind of "bullied" and "forced" imho :frown:
Original post by Serine Soul
I could be a 57 year old male for all you know though....


LMAO we're not married yet.
Original post by BristolFresher15
LMAO

Exactly, its such a silly system. My dad was talking to my baby sis about studying. She's doing GCSEs, and he was telling her how its important for girls to have an education even if they don't end up working; just so that they are seen as respectable when being chosen to get married.

And he was telling me similar things about how only respectable career paths should be striven for, and my friends who are studying sports nutrition and culinary arts are on their way to silly jobs.

:colonhash:


Lol soo true. My parents told me noone will marry me if I don't have a degree and noone will respect me, even if I don't end up working after marriage I still have to go uni. Also they want a well educated husband for me with a good job.
Original post by Anonymous
Lol soo true. My parents told me noone will marry me if I don't have a degree and noone will respect me, even if I don't end up working after marriage I still have to go uni. Also they want a well educated husband for me with a good job.


Yup, definitely. I bet my dad's so happy that I finally decided what I wanted to do, and that it was Medicine; which is like respectable job number one :P
Original post by BristolFresher15
Yup, definitely. I bet my dad's so happy that I finally decided what I wanted to do, and that it was Medicine; which is like respectable job number one :P


Hahaha my dad wanted me to do medicine at uni even though I'm a girl, I wasn't interested so I picked Maths the subject I enjoyed. I bet he is overjoyed with your decision - all asian parents want is for their kids to be doctors. A lot of parents will be coming to you after you've finished your education asking you to marry their daughter lol.
Original post by Serine Soul
I had the 'respectable people' talk with my mum the other day and she said,
"Well back home, people have a different status and it's important to make sure that you marry someone with a very respectable background"

"But mum, they can't help which family they're born into can they?" I asked

"No, but they might be like their ancestors. You have to go for someone with a history of a high status, like one your father's family has."

"So much for high status when we're living below the poverty line here."

I think she might have cut me but she controlled herself


that is literally my Mum, a guy whose a lecturer at harvard wanted to marry a cousin mum butted in and said no because his grandma was a toilet cleaner or some ****. The ****ed up thing is my mum was born here so no idea where the backwardsness came from.
Original post by Squishy•
Oooooh myyy god that must've been unbelievably awkward. What did you do?

It's kinda shallow isn't it? just assuming you'll wanna get with someone because of looks.


Thankfully my mum said I was out so I didn't have to awkwardly look at it in front of her...she left it with my mum to pass on to me though :erm:

Loool yep...when speaking to my mum she made sure she told her how well-behaved and intelligent her son was every two minutes but because "Girls these days seem to care about looks so much" she brought a pic in for me :lol:
Original post by BristolFresher15
My dad just showed me a picture of his old classmate at his daughter's wedding. He then proceeded to point to one of the other daughters and asked if I thought she was pretty. When I said yes, he asked if I might want to get engaged to her :laugh:


you can't marry a picture
Original post by Oilfreak1
that is literally my Mum, a guy whose a lecturer at harvard wanted to marry a cousin mum butted in and said no because his grandma was a toilet cleaner or some ****. The ****ed up thing is my mum was born here so no idea where the backwardsness came from.


Wow wth that's so stupid.

Sounds like what my parents would do tbh
Original post by Anonymous
Hahaha my dad wanted me to do medicine at uni even though I'm a girl, I wasn't interested so I picked Maths the subject I enjoyed. I bet he is overjoyed with your decision - all asian parents want is for their kids to be doctors. A lot of parents will be coming to you after you've finished your education asking you to marry their daughter lol.


Yup, definitely. I was really struggling in academics for the past couple years, so I bet he's ecstatic now that I actually got into Medicine, considering its a competitive program. And the fact that I'm studying outside is a big plus, apparently. I think I already have people looking at me as a viable son-in-law because one of our family's friends have a daughter around my age, and the mum added me on Facebook! Pretty sure that's a sign.

Original post by thefatone
you can't marry a picture


In our culture, that's pretty much the same thing. Because you get married without even talking to your spouse-to-be.
Original post by BristolFresher15
My dad just showed me a picture of his old classmate at his daughter's wedding. He then proceeded to point to one of the other daughters and asked if I thought she was pretty. When I said yes, he asked if I might want to get engaged to her :laugh:


My relative suggested this sh1t in a joking manner to me and I responded ...

"I'm going back into the closet!" :laugh:

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