The Internet and Murder/Death

I am not sure if you have seen people being killed online but I have seen a lot of it. I'm not proud, I'm very ashamed, but at the same time I have learned so much about my own survival by doing it and if the victim made a mistake in the video then I am wary of that for a long time and it informs my behaviour. I get a rush like I've taken heroin or something when I see it. I wish I didn't do it and I don't want to do it, but I keep coming back.

1) Is it illegal?

2) What effects does it have for me to be seeing this?

3) Is it wrong to get a rush from it?

I have to say that at first it was shock, fear and dread but now it isn't.

There is always the sadness though, yet I still click the button.

I just want to be honest please don't condemn me for this. I do find it strange that this isn't taken seriously by some websites out there, where murder/death seems to be acceptable-viewing to certain websites.

I know this is crossing a taboo but I don't care.

1) Is it illegal?

2) What effects does it have for me to be seeing this?

3) Is it wrong to get a rush from it?

I'm not aware of any laws against viewing videos of people getting killed. There's definitely no laws against viewing videos of any crime in general (otherwise Road Wars just wouldn't exist), and I can't imagine that it would cross the government's mind to make one specifically against watching murders, they're too busy banning the really harmful images like porn

You seem to describe what effects it has on you already, I can't think of any more. I imagine you might get a tad desensitised to seeing violent acts, but that's not necessarily a problem. As for other effects, well people might think you're a bit strange. That might be an understatement actually... I can't think of any other than that off the top of my head.You could turn that into a philosophical debate about the purpose of morality if you want, m8. That's got no objective answer to it. That said, I'm going to go with no as you cannot control your involuntary reactions to things.I'd say that as long as you're not watching it and then thinking "yaass I wanna do some of that I wanna kill a man" then it's all good in the hood.