Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Is being "too nice" a bad thing?

Scroll to see replies

Reply 20

It's****ingWOODY

Original post by Anonymous

So what would be your advice to someone who behaves like this?

Don't be so nice :lol:

Reply 21

C-Dog

Can I just say that being nice to people and being assertive, dominant and confident are not mutually exclusive things. This isn't a world where you have to act like a tit to get a girlfriend, neither is it a world where you have to be branded as a pushover to show some common courtesy.

Reply 22

user382

Original post by hxfsxh

Don't be so pessimistic :lol:

I think clinging on to such beliefs will only make things harder.

The only way is to put yourself out there and meet a lot of people. One of them might be compatible.

There is no 'soulmate' out there for any of us. :tongue:

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 23

GUMI

Being too nice =/= being passive and letting everyone walk over you
-_-

Reply 24

username2337813

Original post by stefano865

Touché
Good answer

Reply 25

user382

Original post by hxfsxh

Touché
Good answer

Reply 26

yoda123

just don't be a pushover

Reply 27

AluminiumSkies

Original post by Anonymous

I've always been told that I'm a nice guy by girls and I think it's the reason why I never had a girlfriend at 23 years old

But this is just my personality, I'm generally nice and caring towards people. I know I'm not ugly so could really being "too nice" put girls off?

If yes, then why?

In my opinion, you being nice seems to be a part of your personality and if people can't accept that, that's their problem and not yours. However, as a female who is "too nice", I realise it's easy to get taken advantage of. You can become everyone's go-to person; this can be draining sometimes so don't be nice to the extent that you are burning yourself out for other people.

I genuinely think that the right girl will come along for you soon enough. Just stay true to yourself which means not changing yourself to please others. You have to be happy with yourself first.

Also, beauty's in the eye of the beholder and as friendly and lovely as the girls you talk to think you are, whether they think you are good-looking or not is totally subjective. Personality, external appearance and so much more must be compatible and that compatibility will not be the same with every person. The same applies to us all so don't you fret. Just be patient and keep being you!! :smile:

Ahaha, another thought from my own experience has hit me! Try and let someone know if you like them. Unfortunately, when you're nice to a lot of people, you liking someone may not be so obvious or the opposite- your friendliness being mistake for flirtation (o.O my one)- can occur!! With the opposite, perhaps a certain girl you like may think you're just that way with everyone and not get the message, if you're trying to send one! :h:

Hope this helps

Reply 28

jamesthehustler

Original post by Anonymous

as you come over as soft, weak and spineless and that will appear in the context to apply to your whole life so you will be still working the same job in 20 years for the same money without even trying to get promoted it looks like you not driven to reach the top so keep the nice but add a bit of fire to the mix start with something you're passionate about and work from that and build on it that's what i did

Spoiler

Reply 29

TreeFellOnMe

Yes don't be too nice as in don't put others on a pedestal and sacrifice your own happiness for them, but that does not mean you have to treat them like they're beneath you, unless they are asking for it.

Basically just give less of a **** about your fantasies with other people and play it as it is.

Reply 30

C-Dog

Original post by BlueSheep32

Completely agree with this. It's good to go out with someone who will just do nice things for you without complaint, but it's hard being with someone who just goes along with what you want to do to keep you happy. You can be a nice person and a nice boyfriend without being a pushover. I think this is something my boyfriend struggles with - he'll stand his ground and be assertive when I ask him to do something for me that he should probably be doing anyway and he doesn't want to do it, but he'll just go along with what I want and often not really give much input when we're planning our visits to one another for example, and both things really irritate me - and it's caused a lot of arguments between us. I think there can be a lot of peer pressure to not appear 'whipped' in a relationship when men are of a certain age, but when you mature you realise that your relationship isn't going to work if you aren't nice to each other.

You'll find someone, OP :smile:

there are plenty of girls who would love to date someone 'nice'. You obviously just haven't met the right person yet!

Ahhh, a case of lazy boyfriend syndrome I see :wink:

Reply 31

Anonymous #3

Original post by WoodyMKC

Don't be so nice :lol:

Lol be more specific. Im going out with a girl on my course tomorrow to eat. She said i should pick her up. I dunno if she wants to bang but i wouldnt say no if the opportunity arose. How do you let women know you wanna take them out a have sex with them without being a nice guy?